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If you’re lucky, you might meet a guy and feel a powerful connection almost instantly. You love spending time with him, you’re physically attracted to him, and you can’t get him out of your head.
But often, it’s hard to tell whether your feelings are real. Maybe you’re just caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, or perhaps there’s another reason you’ve convinced yourself that you like him.
It’s perfectly natural to feel confused and unsure about your feelings. Love and attraction are complicated emotions, and it can be hard to sort through all the layers of meaning.
The good news is that there are plenty of ways to tell whether your feelings are real or playing tricks on you.
Signs you really like a guy
1. You think about him all the time
When you like a guy, he’s never far from your thoughts. Every time you manage to concentrate on something else, you last a few minutes, and then he rushes back into your thoughts again.
And it’s even worse during quiet times, like when you’re trying to go to sleep or just waking up. He’s the first thing that pops into your mind in the morning and the reason you lie away tossing and turning every night.
Maybe you constantly replay conversations you’ve had with him in your head, looking for signs that he likes you. Or perhaps you keep checking your phone, waiting for him to reply to your last message.
2. You get nervous around him
Feeling nervous or tongue-tied around a guy you like shows you care about what he thinks of you.
One minute you feel confident and sure of yourself, and then he looks at you a certain way, and you become a blushing, stammering mess. It’s like your brain suddenly decides to take a vacation, and you have no control over what comes out of your mouth.
All you can do is try to keep it together and hope he doesn’t notice how awkward you feel. Just try to relax, take a deep breath, and know that it will get easier the more time you spend together.
3. You get jealous thinking about him with someone else
Does the thought of him being with someone else make you feel sick? Do you check his social media more than you should to see if he’s been hanging out with other girls?
A bit of jealousy can be positive because it shows that you care about him and are worried about losing his attention. Just don’t let it take over your life or make you do anything that will jeopardize your relationship.
If you see him with other girls, there’s no point in getting angry or aggressive because it will only push him away. Just play it cool, be yourself, and trust that he’ll see how special you are.
4. He makes you feel safe
When you’re first getting to know a guy, it’s natural to hold back some of the more quirky aspects of your personality. You want to impress him and don’t want to scare him away by showing him the ‘real’ you too quickly.
Being a little reserved is also a protection mechanism to stop yourself from getting hurt. Before you get too emotionally attached, he needs to prove he’s worthy of your trust.
But once you open up and start being your authentic self around him, it’s a good sign that you think he’s special. He makes you feel safe and comfortable to share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and insecurities without worrying about being judged or rejected.
This feeling of safety is essential for a relationship to grow and thrive. It’s the foundation that helps to build intimacy, trust, and connection in a relationship.
5. You want commitment
If you want to be in a committed relationship with him, it’s a sure sign that you’ve developed much deeper feelings. This is a big deal because it means you want to share your life with him and see a long-term future together.
After all, if you didn’t honestly care about him, you’d be happy to keep casually hanging out, hooking up, and having fun.
You can’t control how fast you fall in love with someone, but it’s important to know whether he’s on the same page. If he’s not there yet, you might need to give him time for his feelings to develop. Just be sure that he’s not using you for sex or as a rebound while he figures things out.
You should also be careful about moving too fast and getting ahead of yourself. If you start talking about your fantastic future together after three dates, it’s likely to scare him away.
6. You’ve woven him into your life
If you’re always looking for excuses to spend time with him, it’s a good sign that you like him. And it’s not just that you want to see him; you’ve started to fully incorporate him into your life.
You used to make every decision based purely on your own needs, but now you also consider what he would want and how he would feel.
You’ve even begun to adopt some of his habits and preferences. Perhaps you’ve started watching his favorite sports team, or maybe you find yourself liking the same type of movies that he does.
And the most significant sign he’s become woven into your life? You’ve started referring to ‘us’ and ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ and ‘me.’
The secret weapon to make him obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
The stakes are much lower today, but the competitive urge remains deeply rooted in male biology. Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers.
Imagine if you could harness all this competitive energy and make a man obsessed with winning your love.
You can. And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the “hero instinct,” and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love.
Triggering a man’s hero instinct taps into his competitive spirit and makes him see your relationship as an opportunity to prove himself as a man. Making you happy gives him purpose and a “game” to win.
Instead of you chasing him, he will jump through hoops to impress you and win your approval. In a matter of days, he’ll become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible.
And the best part is that you can do all this without playing hard to get or acting like a damsel in distress.
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but it’s the real deal. James’ techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
7. It’s more than just physical
If you feel a strong physical attraction to a guy, it can be hard to separate your lustful desires from your feelings for him as a person. Especially if the sex is fantastic and all you want to do is tear his clothes off!
But if you think a lot about his sense of humor, caring nature, or the way he always knows just what to say to make you feel better, it’s likely that your feelings go much deeper than just physical attraction.
8. You daydream about a future with him
Daydreaming about a future with him is an excellent sign that your feelings are real. You might start picturing your wedding day, the amazing home you’ll live in, or even what kind of father he will be to your beautiful children.
Even though it’s just a fantasy, you’re already thinking about how he could fit into your life long-term, and it feels good.
9. Your friends can tell you like him
If you’re unsure how you feel about a guy, introduce him to your friends and see how they react.
Your friends sometimes know you better than you know yourself, including the type of guys you like. They can look at the chemistry between you and see all the signs you’re trying to ignore.
If they spot any red flags, they’ll be happy to share their concerns. But if they approve of him and think he’s a good match for you, it’s a strong sign that you like him too.
It’s great if you have friends to back you up, but remember that you’re the only one who can decide if you like him or not. As well as your friends know you, they can’t get into your head.
10. You want his friends & family to like you
If you like a guy, it makes sense that you want his friends and family to approve of you. After all, you’ll spend a lot of time with them if things go according to plan.
His friends and family know him better than anyone else, so their opinion carries a lot of weight. If they like you, it will help convince him that he’s made the right decision to choose you.
When you finally meet them, just be yourself and try to relax. They’ll be able to see through any attempt to fake it, and it’s not worth trying to impress them if it means pretending to be someone you’re not.
11. You know he could hurt you badly
Falling for a new guy is beautiful, but it’s also scary because you know how badly he could break your heart.
The fact that you’re worried about getting hurt is a good sign. It shows that you care about him deeply and you’re thinking long-term. Even though there’s a chance he could hurt you, there’s also a chance he could make you happier than you’ve ever been before. And that’s worth the risk.
12. You want to know him on a deep level
If you’re constantly asking him deep and personal questions about his values, beliefs, and opinions, it’s a sign that you’re interested in him and want to get to know him better. You want to know his hopes, dreams, and fears and what makes him tick.
13. You’re willing to make the first move
It’s much more common for a guy to make the first move and ask a girl. The same goes for marriage – how often do you hear about a woman proposing to a man?
So if you’re willing to buck the trend and ask him out, it’s a clear sign that you like him. You can’t be bothered to sit around and wait for him to realize he wants you.
Luckily we don’t live in 1950 anymore, and it’s perfectly okay for you to take the lead and ask him out. Many guys find it extremely attractive and flattering when a confident woman takes the lead.
14. You want him to be happy
You’re constantly looking for ways to make him happy, even if it means making sacrifices along the way.
Mexican food may not be your favorite, but you’re happy to go to that new restaurant he’s been wanting to try. You don’t mind giving up your Saturday night to watch his favorite team play, and you’re always looking for unique gifts that you know he’ll love.
And when he gets a win in life, it feels like your win too. You celebrate his successes as if they were your own, and you feel just as disappointed as he does when things don’t go according to plan.
15. You like him too much to play mind games
Men and women play mind games to make themselves feel good, more in control, or because they feel insecure. Unfortunately, blowing hot and cold, breadcrumbing, and love bombing are all too common on the dating scene these days.
But if you like him, you won’t want to play any games. You don’t want to risk losing him by playing games because there’s too much at stake, and you know the best way to get what you want is to be direct and honest with him.
16. You look for signs that he likes you
Every time you see him, you spend hours afterward analyzing his behavior to see if he likes you back. And even when you’re not with him, your mind is still racing as you try to decipher his texts and figure out what they really mean.
It can be exhausting trying to read the signs and figure out whether he likes you or not. But deep down, you know that’s what you’re doing because you want to be sure he feels the same way before you make your move.
17. You’re not interested in anyone else
It doesn’t matter how many times your friends tell you there are other fish in the sea. You’re just not interested in anyone else. The only guy on your mind is him, and you can’t imagine being with anyone else.
Your friends may try to set you up on blind dates or with one of their single friends, but you’re not interested. You’ve already found the man of your dreams, and you’re not going to settle for anything less.
18. You’ve liked him for ages
If you’ve been crushing on him for months and still can’t get him out of your head, chances are it’s not just a passing infatuation. But, if it’s been a while and you’re still not convinced, you might have to accept that you don’t have strong feelings for him after all.
19. You talk about him all the time
Are your friends and family sick of hearing about him yet? If you can’t stop talking about him, it’s a sure sign that you’re head over heels for him.
Signs your feelings aren’t real
1. You’re rebounding
Your self-esteem takes a hit when someone breaks up with you, and it’s natural to want to find someone new as quickly as possible to make yourself feel better. But if you still have strong feelings for your ex, you’re not doing yourself any favors by trying to force yourself to like someone new.
There’s nothing wrong with having a rebound relationship, but it’s important to be honest about your feelings. It’s not fair to string him along if you’re using him to get over someone else.
To help figure it whether he’s a rebound crush, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I like him, or am I still in love with my ex?
- Am I emotionally ready to start another relationship?
- Do I like him enough to commit to another relationship?
2. You feel under pressure to like him
If you feel pressured to like him, you might even start to convince yourself that your feelings are real. Perhaps your parents are putting you under pressure to get married, settle down and start giving them grandchildren. Or maybe your friends think you’re lonely and keep trying to set you up with random guys.
Just take a breath and make sure your feelings are your own. You should never feel pressured to enter into a relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable.
3. You can’t be yourself around him
If you’ve known him for a while and still don’t feel comfortable being yourself, it might be a sign that he’s not the right guy for you.
You should feel safe to be your weird and wonderful self when you’re with someone you like. If you’re constantly putting on an act or feeling like you have to watch what you say, the relationship is going nowhere.
4. Your relationship is shallow
Focusing on surface-level topics when you start dating someone is perfectly normal. But as the relationship progresses, you should find that your conversations become more profound and more personal. If you’re stuck talking about the weather and what you had for dinner, it might signify that you don’t have much in common.
5. You’re infatuated with him
Infatuation is often mistaken for love, but it’s very different. Love is built on trust, mutual respect, and authentic connection, whereas infatuation is more like a fantasy.
If you’re infatuated with him, you’ll ignore all his negative traits and only see what you want to see. It’s essential to be realistic and assess whether you’re basing your feelings on who he actually is or who you want him to be.
It’s normal to be a little bit infatuated with someone when you first start dating them, but after a few months, your feelings should evolve into something more real and substantial.
6. You’re lonely
Fixating on a guy to help cure your loneliness is the wrong reason to start a relationship. The power dynamic will be bad from the beginning, and you won’t be a healthy partner.
If you only like him because you’re lonely, you must learn how to enjoy your company and embrace being by yourself. Being alone can give you time to focus on your own happiness and figure out who you are as a person.
The secret to enjoying being alone is learning how to love yourself. I know that’s easier said than done, but many resources are available to help you on the journey. And if you’re craving more human contact, get out there and meet new people. There are many ways to connect with people these days, both online and in real life.
When you’re feeling happy and confident being by yourself, you’ll be able to meet a guy and know you like him for the right reasons.
7. You crave attention and validation
If you only like him because he gives you lots of attention and makes you feel good about yourself, it might be time to take a step back. Constantly needing validation from others is a sign of low self-esteem, and it will be hard to build a healthy relationship if you don’t love yourself first.
It’s important to remember that you are enough, just the way you are. You don’t need someone else to validate your existence or tell you that you’re worth it.
8. You’re bored
Being bored with your life is also not a good reason to convince yourself that you like someone. A relationship should be a source of joy and excitement, not something you tolerate because you don’t have any better options.
9. All you think about is the sex
If all you can think about is how hot he is or how much you want to sleep with him, it’s probably just physical attraction. Attraction is an important part of any relationship, but it’s not the be-all and end-all.
You should be attracted to your partner, but you should also enjoy their company, have fun together, and share common interests. If you’re only interested in the physical aspect of the relationship, it won’t be sustainable in the long run.
