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Whether you’re playing the dating game or already in a relationship, there are certain behaviors that women can’t stand. It’s not rocket science, and most of them come down to communicating openly and honestly, treating her with respect, and trying to show that you care.
You don’t have to be perfect, but if you can avoid the things on this list, you’ll be well on your way to being the kind of man that women want to be with. Here are 43 of the biggest turn-offs for women.
1. Not listening
If you act disinterested, bored, or distracted when she’s talking to you, she’ll assume you’re a selfish jerk who doesn’t care about her opinions and her feelings. So put your phone away, make eye contact, and practice active listening by asking questions, clarifying what she says, and responding thoughtfully.
2. One word responses
Whether texting or talking face-to-face, one-word responses are the quickest way to show that you’re shallow and boring. So instead of just saying “k” or “cool,” try asking follow-up questions and adding more to the conversation to keep her interested and entertained.
3. Refusing to open up
Relationships are about emotional connection, so opening up and being vulnerable with your partner or date is important. If you’re unwilling to share your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with her, she’ll assume you’re emotionally immature and incapable of having a real relationship.
4. Ignoring relationship problems
Every couple has its share of problems, but how you handle them makes all the difference. She’ll eventually get fed up and leave if you try to sweep them under the rug or pretend they don’t exist. So instead of avoiding your issues, face them head-on and work together to find a resolution.
5. Deflecting blame
Taking responsibility for your actions is an integral part of being in a relationship. If you’re always quick to make excuses or deflect the blame onto someone else, she’ll see you as a childish and immature man incapable of owning up to his mistakes.
6. Not following through
If you say you’re going to do something, make sure you actually do it. Whether taking her out on a date or picking up your socks from the floor, if you don’t follow through with your promises, she’ll see you as unreliable and start to wonder what else you might not be telling the truth about.
7. Negging
Negging is a form of emotional manipulation where guys use backhanded compliments to try and make a woman want them more. The idea is that making her feel a little bit bad about herself will make her more likely to crave your approval. But in reality, it makes you look like an insecure jerk who’s trying to tear her down.
8. Mansplaining
If you’re unfamiliar with the term, mansplaining is when a man tries to explain something to a woman in a condescending or patronizing way. You assume she’s too dumb to understand the topic, so you talk down to her like a child. This is not only incredibly insulting but also a major turn-off.
9. Loud talking
Some guys think talking and laughing at full volume will make them seem more charismatic and attractive. But in reality, it’s just annoying and obnoxious. If you want to make a good impression, try speaking at a normal volume and using your indoor voice.
10. Aggressive behavior
Nothing will turn off a woman faster than aggression. Whether raising your voice, using intimidation to get your way, or being physically aggressive, this kind of behavior is a major red flag. Not only will it make her feel unsafe, but it will also show her that you’re immature and not in control of your emotions. If you suffer from anger issues, get the help you need before you date anyone.
11. Sexism
Even though it’s the 21st century, many women still deal with sexist behavior on a daily basis. Making sexist jokes, assuming that she’s weaker or less capable because she’s a woman, or expecting her to defer to you because you’re a man is outdated, offensive, and incredibly unattractive. To date a modern woman, you must start thinking and acting like a modern man.
12. Hot and cold behavior
Hot and cold behavior is when you act interested in a woman one day and ignore her the next. You might think it makes you seem cool and mysterious, but she will feel frustrated and confused and quickly stop trusting you. If you’re not ready for a serious relationship, that’s fine. But don’t string her along by leading her to believe that you’re interested when you’re really not.
How to make any woman want you (without saying a word)
In a recent study, women were shown pictures of men and asked to rate their attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10.
But the researchers did something sneaky: they included multiple images of the same men standing and sitting in different positions with slightly different facial expressions.
Amazingly, women rated the same man very differently based on how he held himself. One way of standing would get him a rating of 5 or 6, and a minor adjustment would get him scores of 8 or 9.
How is this possible?
In ancient times, before spoken language existed, men had to seduce women without saying a single word. Body language was a man’s only tool to turn a woman on and convince him to sleep with her. As a result, the sexual part of a woman’s brain is much more responsive to the signals your body is giving off than to anything you say.
Relationship coach Kate Spring can show you how to use these body language signals to tap into any woman’s primal, biological desires and make her attracted to you.
These psychological body language techniques are so powerful that they bypass the logical part of a woman’s brain and compel her to think sexual thoughts about you. It doesn’t matter if she already has a boyfriend or has put you in the friend zone. She might even hate you, and she still won’t be able to resist.
And the best part is that these female mind hacks work for any guy. How attractive, wealthy, or confident you are talking to girls doesn’t matter at all.
It sounds like a big claim, but Kate Spring is the real deal. She’s developed her methods using Harvard research and scientifically-validated psychological techniques.
Check out Kate’s free video presentation here.
You’ll be amazed at how differently women treat you and see you once you unlock the secret to body language attraction.
13. Being taken for granted
No one likes to feel like they’re being taken for granted, and women are no exception. If you always expect her to do things for you without ever returning the favor, she’ll eventually get fed up and start looking for someone who will treat her with the love and respect she deserves.
14. Being overly critical
There’s nothing wrong with wanting things to be a certain way, but if you’re constantly criticizing your partner for not meeting your standards, it will only make her feel bad about herself. Accept her for who she is and try to work together to find compromises that make both of you happy.
15. Jealousy
A little bit of jealousy is fine and can even be flattering, but if you freak out whenever she talks to another guy or gets a text from someone you don’t know, it will make her feel suffocated. Trust is an essential part of any relationship; you need to trust your partner if you want any hope of your relationship going the distance.
16. Lack of effort
Just showing up isn’t enough to make a relationship work. You need to put in the effort to build a deep and lasting connection. Whether planning date nights, doing thoughtful things for her, or simply listening when she wants to talk, making an effort shows her that you care.
17. Controlling behavior
Trying to control your partner by telling her what to do, what to wear, or who she can and can’t talk to is a severe form of emotional abuse. She’s a grown woman capable of making her own decisions, so respect her autonomy and let her live her life the way she wants.
18. Accusing her of being “too sensitive”
Just because she’s not afraid to show her emotions doesn’t mean she’s weak or can’t handle herself. In fact, it takes a lot of strength and courage to be emotionally open and vulnerable. If you can’t accept her for who she is, then maybe she’s not the right woman for you.
19. Silent treatment
Silent treatment is when one person in a relationship intentionally ignores the other to punish them or force them to give in to their demands. It’s a childish way of handling conflict, and it will only make your partner feel resentful and unimportant. If you’re upset about something, talk to her like an adult.
20. Feeling like an option and not a priority
Women want to feel like they’re a priority in their partner’s life and not an afterthought. If she always feels like she’s last on your list of priorities, she’ll eventually get fed up and start looking for someone to make her feel special.
Related post: 15 signs you’re an option and not a priority
21. Coming on too strong
It’s fine to be excited about your relationship, but if you’re coming on too strong and trying to move too fast, it will only push her away. Take things slow and let the relationship develop naturally.
22. Laziness
Women are attracted to driven and motivated men, so if you’re content with just sitting around all day and doing nothing, it will not impress her. Show her that you have ambitions and goals and are working towards something in your life.
23. Lack of conviction
If you’re wishy-washy and always seem undecided about everything, it will not give her much confidence in you. Women want a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.
24. Dishonesty
If you’re constantly lying to your partner, it’s going to catch up with you eventually. Not only is it wrong to lie, but it will also erode your trust and make it difficult for your partner to believe anything you say.
25. Bragging
Nobody likes a show-off, and women are especially turned off by men who boast about their accomplishments or try to make themselves look better than they are. Just be yourself and let your actions speak for themselves.
26. No sense of humor
Women consistently rate humor as one of the most important qualities they look for in a man, so if you can’t make her laugh, you’re already at a disadvantage. Being funny doesn’t mean you have to be a stand-up comedian, but being able to crack a few jokes and make her smile will go a long way.
27. Being obsessed with sex
Sex is an integral part of any relationship, but it’s not the only thing that matters. If you’re constantly talking about sex, trying to get her to have sex, or pressuring her to do something she’s uncomfortable with, it will make her think you only want her for her body.
28. Being distant after intimacy
If you roll over and go to sleep or throw your clothes on and head out the door the second you’re done having sex, it will make her feel used and unimportant. Take some time to cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company after sex, so she feels like more than just a conquest.
Related post: 17 reasons guys distance themselves after intimacy
29. Selfishness in bed
If you’re only interested in getting your needs met and couldn’t care less about pleasing your partner, it will not make for a very enjoyable experience. Good sex is all about give-and-take, so make sure you’re both getting what you want.
30. Needing constant validation
Women like confident men who are secure in themselves and don’t need constant validation. If you’re always fishing for compliments or looking for reassurance, it will make you look insecure and needy. Work on building up your self-confidence and learn to love yourself first.
31. Comparing her to other women
Whether in person or online, comparing your partner to other women is a major turn-off. It shows that you’re not satisfied with her and have a wandering eye. If you can’t appreciate what you have, you don’t deserve to be with her.
32. Making no effort with family and friends
If you don’t make an effort to get along with her family and friends, it’s a sign that you’re not really invested in the relationship. Women want a partner who is respectful and considerate of the people who are important to them.
33. Blatantly checking out other women
It’s one thing to appreciate the beauty of other women, but it’s a whole other thing to stare at them and ogle them in front of your partner. This is a major violation of trust and shows her that she’s not the only one on your mind.
34. Lack of commitment
If you aren’t on the same page regarding commitment, it will cause problems and be a significant source of conflict. If you’re not ready to take things to the next level, be honest with her and let her know where you stand.
35. Rudeness to other people
Being rude to servers, bartenders, or anyone else is a major turn-off for women. It shows that you’re arrogant and think you’re better than everyone else. Be polite and respectful to everyone, regardless of their station in life.
36. Poor hygiene
This one should be obvious, but it’s incredible how many guys let their hygiene slip once they’re in a relationship. Whether forgetting to shower or not bothering to brush your teeth, bad hygiene is a major turn-off for women. If you want to keep your partner attracted to you, make sure you’re staying on top of your hygiene.
37. Bad dress sense
It’s not just women who are judged on their looks. Men are too, and if you’re untidy in your appearance, it will reflect poorly on you. Make sure you’re dressing appropriately for the occasion and that your clothes are clean and wrinkle-free.
38. Shallow and obsessed with looks
If you’re a shallow person and only interested in women for their looks, you will have a hard time finding someone who wants to be with you for the long haul. Women want to be with men who appreciate them for more than just their physical appearance.
39. Getting drunk and messy
It’s fine to enjoy a drink or four, but getting drunk and making a fool of yourself is a major turn-off for women. If you can’t handle your alcohol, it’s best to avoid drinking altogether.
40. Being cheap and miserly
If you’re always looking for ways to save a few bucks, it will make you look cheap and miserly. Most women are happy to share the cost of a date equally, but they also want to know that you’re generous and not a tightwad.
41. Bad manners
It feels like anything goes these days, but good manners are still important. If you’re belching at the table or picking your nose in public, it’s gross and rude. Be considerate of others and try to mind your manners in social situations.
