15 reasons to never force anyone to talk to you (+ quotes)

When someone doesn’t want to talk to you, it can be tempting to try and force them to open up. Perhaps you’re desperate to help with a problem and need them to tell you what’s going on. Or maybe you feel ignored or neglected and hope that forcing a conversation will bring you closer together.

Even though your intentions might be good, there are many reasons someone might not want to talk to you, and forcing them to communicate often makes things worse. 

Here are 15 reasons you should never force anyone to talk to you and some helpful quotes to remember.

Why you should never force anyone to talk to you

1. You’ll push them away even further

Instead of bringing you closer together, forcing someone to communicate when they don’t want to will usually just push them away even further. Instead of opening up, they’ll likely build more walls to protect themselves from you.

2. It’s their decision and their right

We all have a right to communicate (or not communicate) with others as we see fit. Just because you want to talk to someone doesn’t mean they owe you anything. If they don’t want to talk, it’s their decision and right. You can’t make them do something they don’t want to do.

3. It might make them feel trapped and interrogated

Forcing someone to talk to you might make them feel like they’re being interrogated and can’t escape the conversation. This will only make them feel more uncomfortable, frustrated, and resentful.

4. It’s not going to be a productive conversation

When someone is forced to communicate, it won’t be a productive conversation. They’re likely to just say whatever you want to hear to get you off their back. The conversation won’t be authentic or meaningful, and it’ll be a waste of time for both of you.

5. You’re not giving them space to process their thoughts and feelings

When someone is dealing with something difficult, they often need time to process their thoughts and feelings. If you force them to talk before they’re ready, you’re not giving them the space they need to figure things out.

6. You could be triggering them

If someone is dealing with trauma or a difficult experience, forcing them to talk about it can be triggering. It can bring up all sorts of painful emotions and memories they’re not ready to deal with.

7. Some people don’t like to share their problems

Some people simply don’t like to share their problems with others. They may feel like it’s a sign of weakness or that they’re burdening others. Or they might just prefer to deal with things on their own. Either way, it’s not your place to try and change their mind or make them talk about something they’re uncomfortable with.

8. You’re violating their boundaries

Respecting your partner’s boundaries is an important part of any relationship. When you force someone to communicate with you, you’re violating their boundaries and showing that you don’t respect their wishes.

9. Forcing a conversation is emotional abuse

In some cases, forcing someone to communicate with you can be a form of emotional abuse. This is especially true if you’re repeatedly pressuring them or using manipulative tactics to try and get them to talk. If you’re worried that your behavior might be abusive, it’s essential to seek help from a professional.

10. It makes you seem desperate and needy

Trying to force someone to talk to you can make you seem desperate and needy. You’ll likely just come across as pushy and annoying, which is not going to endear you to them. If anything, it’ll make them want to avoid you even more.

11. You’re wasting time on someone who isn’t interested

If it’s obvious that the person you’re trying to talk to isn’t interested, you’re wasting your time. It’s important to take a step back and realize when someone isn’t interested in talking. This way, you can focus your energy on people who actually want to communicate with you.

12. The conversation will be one-sided

Conversations are a two-way street. If you’re the only one doing the talking, then it’s not really a conversation. You’re unlikely to achieve anything meaningful and will probably just end up feeling frustrated.

13. You could be interrupting them

When someone is busy or preoccupied with something, trying to force a conversation on them might come across as rude and disruptive. The best thing you can do is respect their time and wait until they’re available to talk.

14. It will damage your confidence and self-esteem

When you repeatedly try to force a conversation with someone who doesn’t want to talk, it can affect your confidence and self-esteem. You might feel rejected, unworthy, or like you’re not good enough.

15. Put yourself in their shoes

How would you feel if someone constantly tried to force a conversation with you? Would you want to talk to them? Or would you find it annoying and intrusive? Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes can help you see things from their perspective and understand why they don’t want to talk.

Why are you trying to force someone to talk to you?

If you find yourself repeatedly trying to force a conversation with someone, it’s important to take a step back and ask why.

1. You need to feel in control

Trying to control your partner is one of the most toxic behaviors in a relationship. Perhaps you don’t trust them to make their own decisions and try to ram your opinions down their throat. Or maybe you’re feeling insecure in the relationship and trying to control the situation by forcing them to talk to you.

2. You want to fight with them

Forcing a difficult conversation is often used to start an argument with someone. You might be feeling resentful or angry and want to pick a fight, or you might be trying to manipulate them into doing what you want. Either way, this is an unhealthy way to communicate and won’t lead to a productive conversation.

3. You’re selfish

Forcing someone to talk to you is selfish behavior because you’re not considering their feelings or needs. Instead of giving them the space they need or choosing a more appropriate time to talk, you’re only focused on your own agenda and what you want from the conversation. 

4. You think they need your help

Even if you think you have all the answers, that doesn’t mean the other person wants or needs your help. Use your judgment, and don’t try to force them to talk if you think they don’t want you to get involved in their problems.

5. You’re forcing someone to like or love you

No matter how much you try, you can’t force someone to like or love you. It’s important to accept that not everyone is going to want to be friends or romantic partners, and that’s okay. If someone doesn’t like you, it’s time to move on and find someone who does.

6. You don’t feel respected

When you don’t feel respected, it can be tempting to force a conversation to get the other person to listen to you. But this will only make them feel trapped, defensive, and less likely to want to talk to you.

What to do instead of forcing someone to talk to you?

So, what can you do if you find yourself in a situation where you need to talk to someone, but they don’t want to talk to you?

1. Let them come to you

The best way to handle the situation is to give them plenty of space and let them come to you. Make it clear that you’re available to talk when they’re ready, but don’t try to push them into it. This way, you’re respecting their boundaries and giving them control.

2. Focus on your own wellbeing

Instead of focusing on the person who doesn’t want to talk to you, focus on your well-being. Spend time with people who make you feel good, do things that make you happy, and work on improving your self-esteem. This will help you feel better about yourself and less reliant on other people for validation.

3. Talk to someone else

If you need to talk about what’s going on in your own life, find another friendly ear that you can trust. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone you feel comfortable talking to. Talking to someone unbiased can be really helpful when trying to work through a difficult situation.

4. Establish trust

Lack of trust is often at the root of why someone doesn’t want to talk to you. If you want to establish trust with someone, work on being honest, reliable, and respectful. It will take time, but eventually, they may start to open up to you.

5. Take the time to listen

Sometimes people just need to be heard and understood without judgment or advice. If you want someone to feel comfortable talking to you, take the time to really listen to what they’re saying. Practice effective listening by making eye contact, repeating back what they’ve said (to show that you understood), and avoiding interrupting

6. Move on with your life

If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s time to move on with your life and focus on the people who want to build a connection with you. There’s no point in wasting your time and energy on someone who isn’t interested.

61 never force anyone to talk to you quotes & sayings

I hope these inspiring and useful quotes will help you remember why it’s important to value yourself and respect other people’s boundaries.

1. If you pressure someone to talk, they’ll usually give you the minimum amount of information possible just to get rid of you. – Orna Ross
2. The more you try to force a relationship with someone, the more that person will want to distance themselves from you. – Unknown
3. If they don’t want to talk to you, there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to make time for you. – Unknown
4. Belief in yourself is more important than endless worries of what others think of you. Value yourself and others will value you. Validation is best that comes from within. – Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o
5. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. – Ernest Hemingway
6. Trust yourself and stay away from situations and people who don’t have your greatest interest. – Ben Ruston
7. Don’t try to force anyone to talk to you. It can be difficult for them, they might be shy. Give the other person space and know that you cannot control everything in this world. Realizing that will alleviate stress, foster healthier social skills and can help improve your or someone’s mental health. – Unknown
8. Don’t let someone remember you all the time. Just shut up and let them understand what they would be like without you. – Unknown
9. Know your worth. People always act like they’re doing more for you than you’re doing for them. – Kanye West
10. Approval is a lover who will always break your heart. – Sammy Rhodes
11. I don’t like forced conversations, forced friendships, forced interactions. I simply do not force things. If we don’t vibe, we don’t vibe. – Unknown
12. Eventually, you have to realize that you’re living for an audience of one. I’m not here for anyone else’s approval. – Pamela Anderson
13. The two of you may have been on the same page in the past or may be in the future. But for now, move on. – Unknown
14. Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself. – Greg Behrendt
15. Dignity only happens when you realize that having someone in your life does not prove your worth. – Shannon L. Alder
16. He who seeks only for applause from without has all his happiness in another’s keeping. – Oliver Goldsmith
17. If you’re conscientiously seeking approval, you’re not being true to yourself. – Tomas Kalnoky
18. Don’t force the parts that don’t fit. No matter what happens, the idea will happen instead. – Unknown
19. The hardest part is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special. – Ernest Hemingway
20. If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator need do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game. – Harriet B. Braiker
21. The only approval you need in life, is that of your positive inner-self. – Edmond Mbiaka
22. Don’t force pieces that don’t fit. Have a whatever happens, happens mindset instead. – Unknown
23. Never chase a person who doesn’t know your worth because you will always feel you were never good enough the moment you catch him. – Shannon L. Alder
24. If someone wants you, nothing will keep them away, but if they don’t want you, nothing will make them stay. – Unknown
25. Be the better person. Stop wasting any more time on toxic relationships. On fake friendships. Do it for yourself and for your self esteem. Because a brighter future awaits if you start moving towards it. – Unknown
26. If they don’t chase you when you walk away… Keep walking! – Nitya Prakash
27. The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away. – Alysia Harris
28. Don’t force people to love you, to chat with you, to talk with you; it’s a sign to know who is the right person for you. The right person always finds a way to connect with you. – Neha Jha
29. If someone really knows your value, they will surely make space for you, so don’t force someone to have space in their lives. – Unknown
30. If you come, let me come. If it stays, stay it. If it works, let it go. – Nicholas Sparks
31. The only permission, the only validation, and the only opinion that matters in our quest for greatness is our own. – Dr. Steve Maraboli
32. You can’t force raging water to be calm. You have to leave it alone and let it return to its natural flow. Emotions are the same way. – Thibaut
33. You have to validate yourself first, and then you will receive the much-deserved healing validation from the rest of the world. – A.D. Posey
34. You’re giving your personal power away every time you seek validation from someone else for who you are. – T. J. MacGregor
35. It’s not always about you. Sometimes people are emotionally unavailable because of someone else or a situation they are going through at the moment. So don’t force interaction, don’t force communication if that’s simply not an available choice for the other person right now. – Unknown
36. You’re not being true to yourself if you’re conscientiously seeking approval. – Tomas Kalnoky
37. You can’t force someone to keep their word, communicate, or realize that something special is in front of them. – Keyshia Cole
38. If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship – you won. – Lalah Delia
39. You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows. – Mandy Hale
40. Never force yourself to have a space in anyone’s life because if they really know your worth, they’ll surely create one for you. – Unknown
41. Don’t force someone to remember you all the time. Just stay silent and let them realize how they will be without you in their life. – Unknown
42. In life don’t force anyone to talk to you… And don’t neglect anyone who always wants to talk to you. – Asmita
43. Life is too short to waste time waiting for other people’s approval on how you live it. – Steve Maraboli
44. Our patience will achieve more than our force. – Edmund Burke
45. You have to accept the fact that some people are never going to be for you. Treat them with respect, but you don’t need their approval to fulfill your destiny. – Joel Osteen
46. Don’t force anyone to talk to you. I’ve had my fair share of such emotional abuse and it always makes me back away. It is not in your best interest so just forget about it and let the person have a bit of space and decide if they want to engage. – Unknown
47. Before looking for someone else’s verification, try to find it yourself. – Greg Behrendt
48. Don’t force anyone to talk about how they are feeling or to tell you something. Just give them their space and time and if they feel like telling you then they will tell you on their own. – Neha Maurya
49. So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself. – Oprah Winfrey
50. Happiness doesn’t have to be chased…it merely has to be chosen. – Mandy Hale
51. Learn to walk away from the arms where you don’t belong before you end up suffocating there. – Sai Pradeep
52. A person who seeks only applause from nothing has all the happiness in the hearts of others. – Oliver Goldsmith
53. Be a better person. Stop wasting any more time on toxic relationships. About fake friendships. Do it for yourself and your self-esteem. You move towards it. If you start, a brighter future awaits you. – Unknown
54. Freedom on the inside comes when validation from the outside doesn’t matter. – Richie Norton
55. Observe the behavior of the butterfly, and chase no one, for they will only elude you. – Michael Bassey Johnson
56. Never force anyone to make time for you, if that person really wants to talk to you or spend time with you, they will. – Unknown
57. It is better to be alone than in bad company. – George Washington
58. Trying to force communication only pushes people away. – Dale Carnegie
59. The harder you try to hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to, the more they’ll pull away. – Greg Behrendt
60. You can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.” – Unknown
61. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.” – Robert Tew