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If your boss likes you romantically, it’s not surprising they want to keep their feelings hidden. They are responsible for maintaining a professional work environment, and starting a relationship with an employee might be seen as crossing the line.
Most workplaces don’t have the right to ban office relationships completely, but they can still make things difficult. If your boss is interested in you, they might worry about what will happen to both of your careers if things don’t work out.
However, even if your boss tries to keep their feelings secret, there are always telltale signs. Here are 27 signs your boss likes you, even though they’re hiding it.
1. You get special treatment
There are lots of ways your boss can subtly give you special treatment. They might give you more opportunities to lead significant projects, let you work from home more often, or cut you more slack when you take a long lunch break to run personal errands.
If the advantages you get seem strictly related to your positive work performance, then it might simply be that your boss recognizes your talent. For example, if you get extra training or mentorship opportunities, your boss may simply want you to develop your skills so you can contribute more to the company.
But if they ignore negative aspects of your work, like coming in late or taking long lunches, it could be a sign they’re attracted to you. They might not want to give you any constructive criticism because they don’t want to risk damaging their chances.
2. They find excuses to touch you
Innocent physical contact is not necessarily a sign of romantic interest. For example, your boss might pat you on the back to congratulate you after a presentation or briefly touch your arm when you make a joke or say something interesting.
However, most managers will avoid physical contact with their employees unless they have a very close relationship. If your boss always seems to find an excuse to touch you, it might signify they’re attracted to you. Some examples to look out for include hugging, putting their hand on your lower back, or “accidentally” grazing your leg under a table.
Keep in mind that workplace touching can quickly become inappropriate, so it’s important to be able to spot the difference between a well-meaning boss and one who is crossing the line. Even if you enjoy being touched, remember that everyone in your workplace will quickly pick up on your touchy-feely vibes.
3. They’re always hanging around
Is your boss constantly stopping by your desk, even when they don’t have anything specific to say? Do they often stroll into the kitchen area 30 seconds after you arrive to make a coffee? Or perhaps you always seem to leave the office at the same time and end up walking to your car or train together.
If your boss always seems to be hanging around wherever you are, it’s unlikely to be a coincidence. After all, most managers are too busy to make small talk or drink coffee with their employees. It’s much more likely that your boss is engineering these encounters as an excuse to talk to you and spend more time in your company.
4. They’re extra tough on you
Your boss might think the best way to hide their feelings is to be extra tough on you. They might give you more work than usual, criticize your performance more harshly, or withhold praise when you do something well.
Of course, it’s possible that your boss genuinely believes you need to step up your game. But if you know your work is always done to a high standard, it’s worth looking beyond the “tough love” to see if something else is happening.
The problem with this approach is that you can quickly resent your boss, which is the last thing they want if they’re attracted to you. If your boss starts behaving this way out of the blue, it might be time to discuss their expectations.
5. They suddenly ignore you
Just like the tough love approach, suddenly ignoring you is another way for your boss to try and hide their romantic feelings. If they used to be chatty and friendly but now can barely say a word to you, it might be because they’re attracted to you and are worried about saying or doing something that will give them away.
Of course, there are many other reasons your boss might start ignoring you. They could be dealing with a personal issue, or they could simply be too busy to talk. If the situation persists, it might be worth asking if there’s anything on their mind.
6. They always ask for your opinion
If your boss always asks for your opinion on work matters, it’s a good sign that they respect and value your judgment. However, if this is recent behavior out of the blue, they could be looking for reasons to engage you in conversation and spend more time together.
7. They come to you for advice
The same is true if they’ve started coming to you for advice – especially personal advice. Sure, it’s possible that they trust your judgment and want to get your take on things. But if they’ve never done it before, they might also be trying to deepen your connection and make your relationship more personal.
When your boss asks you for work advice, make sure you give them your honest and well-considered opinion. But if they start asking for personal advice, it’s up to you whether you want to push the boundaries of your professional relationship. As long as you feel comfortable doing so, there’s no harm in lending a friendly ear.
8. They laugh at all your jokes
When we are attracted to someone, we tend to find them funnier than they really are. So if your boss is laughing at all your jokes – even the lame ones – it’s a good sign that they might have feelings for you.
Look, maybe you’re hilarious, and your boss genuinely finds you funny. But if you’re not usually known for your wit, it’s worth considering that their laughter might be an attempt to connect with you on a more personal level.
9. They ask you to a lot of meetings
If you’ve noticed that your boss has started including you in a lot of meetings – especially ones where your input isn’t really necessary – it might be because they want to spend more time with you.
Even if you can’t talk directly in the meeting, being there gives your boss plenty of excuses to engage you in conversation afterward.
Now, there could be perfectly innocent reasons for this. Maybe they think you have something valuable to contribute or simply want to keep you in the loop. But if you’re struggling to figure out why you’re being forced to sit through two hours of tedious discussion, it might be because your boss has a crush on you.
The secret weapon to make your boss obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
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Here’s the link to the free video again.
10. They keep making eye contact
When you’re attracted to someone, it makes sense that you want to look at them as much as possible. But in the workplace, flat-out staring is obviously inappropriate. So instead, your boss might try to steal glances at you every chance they get.
Keep in mind that accidental eye contact happens all the time. Your eyes wander around the room, and you lock eyes with someone for a fraction of a second before glancing away again. If this happens once or twice, it might just be a coincidence. But if it happens often, it’s obvious that they’ve been staring at you and trying not to get caught.
Related post: 15 reasons a guy stares deeply into your eyes
11. They find ways to be alone with you
If your boss starts finding reasons to be alone with you, it’s a good sign that they’re interested in you. Perhaps they’ve started scheduling more one-on-one meetings or been asking you for help after everyone else has gone home.
Of course, there are plenty of work-related reasons why your boss might need to be alone with you. But if they’ve never needed to before, it’s worth considering that there might be more going on.
12. They tell you sensitive information
Filling you in on work gossip or information above your pay grade might be an attempt by your boss to make you feel special and included. Or, they may be trying to impress you with how much they’re in the loop with what’s happening at your company.
On the one hand, it feels great to be trusted with this kind of information. But should your boss really be confiding in you? If they’re telling you things that you shouldn’t know, it shows a lack of professional boundaries.
13. They compliment you all the time
There’s a difference between professional recognition and personal compliments. If your boss constantly praises your work, it probably just means you’re doing a good job. But if they’re complimenting your appearance or personality, it might mean that they like you.
Compliments like “you look great today” or “I love your sense of humor” are definitely crossing the line into personal territory.
14. They compare you to your coworkers
The same is true if your boss compares you to other employees. If they’re constantly pointing out how much better you are than your coworkers, it’s obvious that they want you to feel singled out and special.
15. Their eyes light up when they see you
You can tell a lot about how someone feels about you by how they react when they see you. If your boss’s eyes light up and they get a big smile every time you walk into the room, it’s pretty clear they’re happy to see you.
16. They try to see you outside of work
Has your boss ever asked you to meet up for drinks after work? Or maybe they’ve asked for your help with a work project outside office hours. Even if it doesn’t sound like a date, they clearly want to spend more time with you and blur the lines between your work and personal lives.
If they are trying to hide their feelings for you all day at work, asking you to hang out after hours will allow them to get to know you better without other nosey people getting in the way.
17. They ask you lots of personal questions
Getting you alone is also the perfect opportunity to ask you lots of personal questions. If your boss starts asking about your family, hobbies, and what you think about current events, it might be because they’re trying to figure out if you’d make a good couple.
18. They agree with everything you say
When we like someone, we tend to agree more with them than usual. It’s a way of building rapport and making the other person feel good. So if you notice that your boss is starting to agree with everything you say, it might be because they are trying to ingratiate themselves with you and make a good impression.
19. You get a lot of text messages outside of work
Lots of bosses send work-related texts to their employees after hours. But if your boss is texting you just to chat or check-in, it’s a sign that they want to keep the lines of communication open even when you’re not at work.
Related post: How to tell if a girl likes you over text (31 signs)
20. Your coworkers are gossiping
It might be unwise to ask your coworkers directly if they think your boss likes you. All that will do is confirm any suspicions they might have and start even more gossip.
But discussing your boss more indirectly will give you a good idea if they think anything is going on. For example, if they say things like, “Mark really seems to like you” or “Karen is always talking about you,” it’s a pretty good sign that your coworkers have noticed a change in the office dynamic.
21. They ask about relationship status
If your boss is planning to make a move at some point, they need to know your relationship status. If they start subtly asking about your love life, it’s probably because they want to see if you’re available.
22. The get flustered or nervous around you
It’s natural to feel a little bit nervous around someone you’re attracted to – especially if it’s a work colleague and you’re trying to hide the way you feel. There are lots of signs to look out for that you’re making your boss feel hot under the collar:
- Fidgeting with objects (like a pen or glass).
- Lack of eye contact or nervous glances.
- Stammering or getting tongue-tied.
- Blushing.
- Playing with hair or constantly adjusting clothing.
23. You can sense some jealousy
If your boss is having a tough time hiding their feelings, you might even notice a little bit of jealousy creeping in. Signs of jealousy include hot and cold behavior, acting needy, always checking up on your work, or hanging around for no reason.
A little jealousy can be endearing to signal interest, but it has no place in a professional environment. Your boss needs to be careful that they don’t let their emotions get the better of them and start behaving inappropriately at work.
24. They notice little things about you
Does your boss always notice if you change your appearance or wear something new to work? This shows they are paying attention to you and taking note of the little details.
The same is also true if they remember everything that you tell them. Sure, they might have a good memory, but they are more likely hanging on your every word because they like you a lot.
25. Your intuition tells you
It’s not always easy to read the signs, especially if your boss is good at hiding their feelings. But sometimes, you get a gut feeling that something is going on, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it. If you’ve got a sneaking suspicion that your boss likes you, there’s a good chance you’re right.
Body language signs your boss likes you
There are many body language and non-verbal clues to look out for that your boss likes you, including:
- Proximity – if they stand or sit close to you, it’s a sign they are interested.
- Eye contact – making and holding eye contact is a sign of mutual attraction.
- Touching – if your boss accidentally brushes against you or touches you more than necessary, it could be a sign of interest.
- Smiling and laughter – if your boss is extra smiley and laughs a lot when they are around you, it’s definitely a good sign.
- Mirroring – copying your body language is an unconscious way of showing they feel comfortable around you and are trying to build rapport.
- Leaning in – if your boss leans in when you’re talking, it means they are interested in what you’re saying.
- Fidgeting – if your boss is fidgeting a lot (playing with their hair, playing with a pen, etc.) it could be a sign they are nervous or attracted to you.
Related post: 23 body language signs he’s falling in love with you
What to do if your boss likes you
Okay, so you’ve figured out that your boss likes you. But what do you do about it? Here are a few things to keep in mind:
First, remember that it’s essential to maintain a professional relationship with your boss while you’re at work. Even if you have intense chemistry, you don’t want to jeopardize your job or career by misbehaving around your coworkers.
Second, try to understand whether your boss is interested in pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship with you. If they are, it’s important to have a conversation about it (preferably outside of work) to ensure that you’re both on the same page.
And finally, if you decide that you don’t want to pursue a relationship with your boss, be sure to let them down easily. There’s no need to be mean or hurtful – just explain that you’re not interested and would prefer to keep things professional.
