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Navigating the modern dating world can be complex and intimidating. Let’s be honest, most of us are just stumbling around in the dark trying to make our romantic relationships work.
That’s why a great dating advice book can make such a massive difference to your life. Whether you’re trying to understand the opposite sex, survive a breakup, fix your broken relationship, or just get laid – there’s a book out there that can help you.
To save you all the research, I’ve assembled this list of the best dating advice books you can start reading right now. Every choice has been hand-picked to help improve your dating life and find true love – or at least get heaps of hot sex.
The list is in no particular order, but I’ve created separate sections for men and women. I’ve also included a category with the best books about general relationship topics that both men and women will find helpful.
Good luck with all your dating adventures!
The best dating advice books for guys
1. The Unplugged Alpha: The No Bullsh*t Guide To Winning With Women & Life by Richard Cooper
The goal of Unplugged Alpha is to encourage men to reject the idea that they should just be themselves and women will come running.
Instead, Richard Cooper will show you how to embrace your masculine Alpha male tendencies and learn to dominate the dating game. A lot of the ideas actually come from ‘The Rational Male’, another book on this list.
The book is probably most well know for the concept of ‘Red Flags’, which are traits to look for in women that should make you avoid having a long-term relationship with them.
2. The Man’s Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the “Love Lab” About What Women Really Want by John Gottman
Dr. John Gottman is a professor emeritus in psychology at the University of Washington and a relationship expert who has been featured on Oprah, Good Morning America, The Today Show, Dateline NBC, and Larry King Live. In ‘The Man’s Guide to Women’, he shares his knowledge from over 40 years of research into what women really want from men.
In his book, you’ll discover the secrets behind why some guys have all the luck in dating and how to use a man’s natural ‘attraction triggers’ to your advantage in order to find love with the right girl.
3. The Art Of Seduction by Robert Greene
Seduction is about the art of control – and knowing how to use it in your favor when attracting women. It’s also about knowing yourself, understanding human nature, and being unashamedly confident.
The Art Of Seduction is packed with historical examples of seducers throughout the ages, including Casanova. It explains how you can become a Master Seducer by knowing exactly what it takes to control others, avoid being controlled yourself, and establish complete dominance over your love life.
One key point that stands out is that being deeply narcissistic isn’t actually necessary for seduction. In fact, a lot of the time you’ll need to pretend that you don’t actually want anything from her – and just let her think she’s in control.
4. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
Most Nice Guys have been conditioned from a young age to believe they must hide their flaws and appear physically attractive to attract women. Unfortunately, this ‘Nice Guy’ behavior actually comes across as needy and desperate, which means you’ll never get the girl you’re hoping for.
In fact, when you let women control your dating life, you unknowingly give them the power to reject you. ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ is about how to become more assertive, drop your old nice guy habits, and learn how to date women without feeling like you need their approval first.
5. Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson
Mark Manson believes that ‘honest game’ works better than ‘nice guy game.’ He believes that it’s time for men to stop playing games, pretending they don’t want sex or trying to manipulate women into sleeping with them.
Instead, Manson says the best way to attract beautiful women is by using honesty and holding nothing back. In this practical guide, he explains how to give women compliments and show physical affection without being a suck-up.
6. How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams by Corey Wayne
Corey Wayne is a relationship coach who has worked with tens of thousands of clients from dozens of countries. In ‘How To Be A 3% Man’, he presents a dating philosophy that teaches you how to develop the traits that 97% of men don’t have to become one of the small percentage of guys women can’t resist.
The core message of his 10 rules for dating is to transform yourself into an emotionally strong, highly-desirable man who creates attraction first and foremost through your actions – not your words.
7. The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System To Go From Single To The Woman Of Your Dreams By Andrew Ferebee
In a world full of men who approach the dating scene with a ‘spray and pray’ technique, Andrew Ferebee offers a new way to look at the world of relationship advice. In ‘The Dating Playbook For Men,’ he shares how you can master the art of being confident enough to attract beautiful women without being arrogant – and reveals his seven-step system for creating meaningful connections with women.
The book is well written and engaging, but if you read a lot of dating books, there might not be anything particularly revolutionary here. A lot of the same advice can also be found in the 3% man and No More Mr Nice Guy.
8. Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction by Christopher Canwell
Using scientific studies, surveys, and data to back up his research, author Christopher Canwell presents the psychology behind what makes men and women attracted to each other.
The book covers everything you need to know about flirting, body language, how to develop the right mindset for dating success (and avoid overthinking things), understanding your unique love blueprint, and how to make a woman feel happy, safe, and fulfilled.
9. The Rational Male By Rollo Tomassi
Rollo Tomassi is a blogger and speaker who’s written several books on the subject of masculinity. The Rational Male shares how you can develop your sense of self-worth, understand what it takes to attract women, and use this knowledge to build a healthy relationship with a woman who’s right for you.
10. The Noble Art of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide to Pulling Any Woman You Want by Kezia Noble
Kezia Noble is known as a ‘female pick-up artist’ in the seduction community. Her book, ‘The Noble Art of Seducing Women’ teaches you her 15 step system to approach, attract, and keep women interested in you. You’ll learn the elements of attraction, how to talk to women with confidence, and how to close the deal.
The advice she gives is useful for dating but will also give you social skills you can use in all other areas of your life.
11. Alpha Male Strategies: Dating Techniques In The Social Media Age by Alpha Male Strategies (Youtuber)
AMS concentrates on teaching guys how to become the top 20% of men that women are naturally attracted to. He shares some great advice on developing self-confidence, avoiding being an average frustrated chump, and creating a lifestyle that starts attracting women into your life.
His dating advice is solid, but I think the best part of the book is his focus on personal development. If you’re happy with your lifestyle but you’re having problems attracting women, this book will give you a number of strategies for changing your life so that you can become the man who naturally attracts amazing women.
12. The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida
David Deida is a spiritual teacher and author who specializes in dating and personal development. In his book, ‘The Way Of The Superior Man,’ he shares the philosophy behind becoming the kind of man who naturally attracts women without selling out your own mission or values in life.
This is one of the most highly-acclaimed and best dating books on the market right now. Combining ancient wisdom with modern psychology, it’s designed to help you become the most masculine and confident version of yourself – the kind of guy who naturally attracts women, builds a great relationship, and lives a life without regrets.
The best dating advice books for ladies
1. He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
Behrendt and Tuccillo are both stand-up comedians. They share their wisdom on modern dating, and give you a proven plan to avoid the pitfalls of bad relationships and heartache.
They explain that if a guy wants to see you, he’ll definitely find a way. If he doesn’t, then he’s not that into you. It’s a simple and effective approach to dating that will help you weed out the good guys from the boys who’ll only bring you drama and heartache.
2. Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-End Relationships by Bruce Bryans
Bryans is a dating coach who has spent years working with hundreds of single women in his practice. In ‘Never Chase Men Again,’ he shares 38 essential truths about men and why they behave the way they do in relationships.
This book isn’t just for ladies looking for love – it can also help you if you’re dating a guy who’s not committed. It will teach you how to let go of him without feeling sad about it and move on to bigger and better things.
3. Make Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge by Jon Birger
This book is great for ladies who are sick of playing hard to get. It will make you more assertive about your expectations in relationships and show you how in the modern age, women play an equal role in the dating game. When you’re ready to go after a guy who interests you, this book will show you how to make the first move, avoid coming on too strong, and let him know that you’re into him.
4. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirls – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship by Sherry Argov
Forget all the advice you’ve ever heard about keeping your man close by submitting to him and acting like a doormat. This book will show you how strong women get all of the attention from men and have the most success with dating and relationships.
It’s a bestseller for a reason, and if you’ve been conditioned to be weak with men, it will help you gain the confidence to go after what you want in relationships. You’ll learn how to keep your man happy without sacrificing who you are as a person.
5. The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible by Ali Binazir
The Tao of Dating is an international best seller and one of the most popular dating guides ever written. Since publication it’s helped thousands of women find fulfilling relationships with great guys. This book will help you understand men better and give you the wisdom to make good decisions when it comes to starting new relationships.
From understanding how men think, learning how to attract men with confidence, and finding out what you need to know about sex, this book covers everything women need to know about men and dating.
6. Act like a Lady, Think like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment by Steve Harvey
The book is one of the best-selling relationship guides for a reason. Harvey has a real talent for making complex psychology easy to understand. In ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’, he uses his experience as a family man and comedian to share his wisdom with women who want to find good men create loving relationships.
It’s an easy read, packed full of valuable tips that will help you understand the opposite sex and increase your chances of finding happiness in love.
7. The Game of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance – and Getting What You Want by Shannon Boodram
Boodram is a dating coach who has spent years working with both male and female clients, and in her book ‘The Game of Desire’ she shares the five most potent negotiation secrets you can use to date with dominance and get what you want.
If you’re tired of guys taking advantage of your niceness, this book will wake you up to the reality of dating and show you how to be more dominant in your relationships.
8. Never Get Ghosted Again: 15 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest and How to Avoid Guys Who Can’t Commit by Bruce Bryans
This dating guide for women will help you get to the bottom of why men lose interest so quickly and often fail to commit to you.
It’s also a guide on how to stop being clingy, insecure, and needy in your relationships. If you always find yourself chasing men who are never there when you need them, this book will show you why that happens and what you need to do to fix it.
9. He’s Lying Sis: Uncover the Truth Behind His Words and Actions by Stephan Labossiere
He’s Lying Sis is a book for women who want to stop getting swindled by jerk guys and start finding good men.
When you’re in love, you might not think it’s possible that your guy could be lying or misleading you about his feelings or intentions. This book shows how scoundrels trick even smart women into accepting less than they deserve.
If you want to change the way you get treated by guys, this is a great book for learning how to recognize signs of insincerity in your men.
10. The Power of the Pussy: Get What You Want From Men: Love, Respect, Commitment and More by Kara King
The Power of the Pussy is a guide for women who want to learn how to get power over men and define their own rules of engagement.
King gives her take on why men act like they do and shows you how to put yourself in control. This book will help you understand the true nature of relationships and make it easier for you to attract, select and keep the kind of man you want.
11. Men Don’t Love Women Like You!: The Brutal Truth About Dating, Relationships, and How to Go from Placeholder to Game Changer by G. L. Lambert
Lambert reveals how many guys use women as relationship placeholders until something better comes along. This book will help you see through his lies and show you why so many men lose interest in good women.
If you tend to waste time on guys who don’t deserve your attention, this book can put a stop to that behavior by helping you learn how to spot a guy worth holding onto. You’ll know how to tell the difference between a guy who’s serious about commitment and someone who’s just playing games with you.
12. For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn
Feldhahn is the author of ‘For Men Only’, a book that helped millions of men understand what women really want from them.
Her latest work uses scientific research and interviews with hundreds of men to reveal how guys think about love, sex, commitment, and intimacy. This book will help you understand the opposite sex better, so you’ll have a head start on finding a great guy who’s looking for a committed relationship with you.
13. The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love by Jenna Birch
According to data compiled by scientists and dating sites, modern men claim to desire brains and success in their romantic partners. If that’s the case, why are so many independent, successful women dominating in life but failing in love? The Love Gap is the first book to examine this phenomenon and show you why you should never settle.
The best books about dating & relationships (for men & women)
1. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
This relationship book explores five different ways of showing love, which Chapman calls ‘love languages.’
Once you know how you and your partner show love, you’ll be better able to meet each other’s needs. Chapman developed these concepts after years of counseling married couples, so they’ve been time-tested by real people who have used them to get closer with their partners.
The five love languages will give you the insight you need to ensure that you and your partner feel valued, appreciated, and understood.
2. Anxiety in Relationship: How to Overcome Anxiety, Jealousy, Negative Thinking and Manage Insecurity and Attachment by Melanie White
If you find yourself worrying a lot about your partner’s faithfulness, this book can help you understand how to overcome insecurities.
People who worry a lot in relationships often come from a place of low self-worth and will sabotage their own happiness out of fear that other people can’t or won’t love them.
Every relationship should be a healthy and loving one, so this book will show you how to get rid of your doubts about whether or not your partner wants to be with you.
3. Single on Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First by By John Kim
Single on Purpose is all about helping you create a fulfilling life in the single’s world. This book will inspire you to find your dream life without having to depend on someone else for happiness.
This book has helped men and women get over their bad dating habits, so they can finally go after what they want out of love. Single on Purpose will keep you motivated to find the right person, so you can stop playing games and start having a real experience with someone wonderful.
4. Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep – love by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
Attached explains three different ways people bond in relationships, called ‘attachments.’ The author has discovered studies showing how these attachments develop in our early lives. Understanding how your past affects your present will make it easier to meet the right person who shares the same needs as you.
5. Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud & John Towsend
If you’re looking for a book full of useful tips to organize your life, Boundaries is the best relationship book to help you. Cloud and Townsend teach people how to set boundaries in all kinds of relationships, including work/employee, parenting, friendship, and romantic partnerships.
If you tend to be too giving in relationships, Boundaries will show you how to set boundaries so your needs get met. Plus, you’ll learn what kinds of boundaries to set in different kinds of relationships so you can take care of yourself even when it’s hard.
6. Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd
Relationship Goals is the book you need if you want to improve your relationships with your partner, family members, friends, and co-workers.
This relationship advice book will show you what kinds of actions are most likely to lead to conflict in different kinds of relationships, so you can avoid or prevent them before they happen. If you follow this book’s advice, you’ll have more successful relationships with the people around you every day.
7. Modern Romance: An Investigation by Aziz Ansari & Eric Klinenberg
Aziz Ansari’s book Modern Romance is a hilarious and insightful analysis of how dating and mating rituals have changed with the evolution of technology. Many people read books like Ansari’s to learn more about social interactions and gender dynamics in today’s world, so they can find love without all the online games.
Ansari’s research with Eric Klinenberg shows how dating has changed over the years, so you can become part of the new generation of singles who are having rewarding experiences. This book will also show you how to avoid pointless online games that take up too much time and don’t get you anywhere in real life.
8. Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy by Ken page
This book is all about getting rid of old dating rules like playing games and waiting for Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet. Page believes that following these myths has made us complacent and unable to experience truly rewarding love. Instead, he wants us to know that finding meaningful love is possible when we let go of our need for validation from others.
He’ll show you how to find true fulfillment through a real connection with someone who really knows and understands you without all the games in the way. Plus, this book will teach you how to have fulfilling experiences at home and in your own body, so you stop looking for love outside yourself.
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