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Dealing with the loss and grief of a breakup is one of the most difficult things you can go through. It feels like you’ve lost a part of yourself, and all you can think about is what you could have done differently to save your relationship.
It’s natural to hope that he’s just as miserable as you are, and he’s sitting at home wishing he had you back. But unfortunately, there’s a good chance he’s already moved on, and you’ll need a miracle to get him back.
Here are 19 signs he doesn’t miss you, even though you wish with all your heart that he did.
1. He never checks in on you
If he missed you, he would want to know how you’re doing. He would check in on you to see if you’re eating, sleeping, and taking care of yourself. He would want to make sure you’re okay because, deep down, he still cares about you.
Even if your breakup was hard and you both said and did things you regret, he would be willing to put all of that aside to ensure you’re okay.
But if he never contacts you or checks in on you, it’s pretty clear he’s moved on. He’s stopped caring about you and your well-being because he’s no longer invested in your relationship.
The one exception is if he’s using the no-contact rule to try and get you back. In that case, he may intentionally avoid you until he’s had time to process the breakup and deal with his emotions.
2. He doesn’t make any effort to see you
Once the no-contact period is over and he’s had time to clear his head, he will try to see you if he misses you. Even just asking you to catch up over a quick cup of coffee will show that he’s still thinking about you.
But if he never makes an effort to see you, it’s pretty clear that he’s not interested in being friends, let alone getting back together. He may have decided that his life is better off without you, or perhaps he’s already started dating someone new.
3. He doesn’t respond to your texts
Even if he has no interest in seeing you, it’s not hard to fire off a quick response to a text. So if he’s ignoring your texts or taking hours or even days to reply, it’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want anything to do with you.
It hurts to be ignored, but at least you know where you stand. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk to you, so it might be time to move on and focus your attention on someone who actually cares about you.
If he’s ignoring your messages, resist the urge to double-text him or send him a long message begging for his attention. That will only make you look weak and push him away even further.
4. He’s dating someone new
It’s never easy to discover that your ex has started seeing someone new. It feels like a knife to the heart if you’re still hoping to get back together.
Dating someone new could be a sign that he doesn’t miss you. However, it’s not necessarily bad news. He might be in a rebound relationship and trying to replace you with someone else to help him overcome the pain of your breakup.
Rebound relationships rarely last, and you might still have a chance to get him back if you’re willing to be patient. But keep in mind that if he’s still with this new girl in a few months, his feelings for her are probably genuine.
5. He’s returned all your stuff
Returning all the stuff you left at his place sends a pretty clear message that he wants nothing further to do with you. Even if he still misses you, he doesn’t want extra reminders of your relationship hanging around and making it harder to get over you.
Taking all your stuff back has a painful finality because it feels like severing the last remaining ties between you. Especially if he’s returning things that have sentimental value to you, like a gift from a special occasion or a favorite sweater you used to hang out in at his place.
6. He ignores your special days
If he’s moved on and stopped missing you, he’ll probably stop acknowledging your birthday, special occasions, or other important milestones in your relationship.
This is telling because getting in touch on your birthday is the perfect way to start a conversation without seeming overly clingy or needy. If he’s happy to let a special day pass without any contact, it shows that he’s no longer interested in what’s happening in your life.
To be clear – he may not be trying to deliberately hurt you by ignoring your birthday. He might be so wrapped up in his new life that the date has faded from his memory.
7. He never tells you anything personal
Now that you’ve broken up, it’s natural that he wants to create some separation between you. Confiding in you like he used to would feel weird and uncomfortable and probably be painful for both of you.
But if he seems very guarded and unwilling to share anything about his personal life, it shows that he’s not interested in re-opening the lines of communication.
If he were still interested, he’d at least tell you about what’s going on with school, work, his friends, or family. There’s no harm in telling you about these things unless he’s deliberately trying to keep you at arm’s length.
8. He doesn’t try to touch you
Does he seem utterly disinterested in showing you any physical affection? If the answer is yes, you can be sure he’s stopped missing you.
Of course, he’s probably not going to try and kiss you, but if he missed you, he would find ways to keep your physical connection alive by casually touching your arm or back, hugging you, or sitting close to you.
9. He seems bored when you see him
How does he react when you do manage to see him? If he seems visibly distracted or bored, it’s a sign that he doesn’t want to be around you.
In contrast, if he missed you and wanted to get back together, he’d be over the moon to see you and make an effort to engage in conversation and appear interested. He would be trying to touch you, flirt, and make it clear that he still has feelings for you.
Related post: 15 necessary steps when you can’t get over someone
10. He seems genuinely happy with life
One of the most obvious signs he doesn’t miss you is if he looks genuinely happy and content with his life. When you miss someone, it’s almost impossible to put on a brave face and act like everything is okay.
You can tell he’s happy if he smiles a lot, has high energy levels, and radiates positive vibes. A spark in his eyes will tell you he’s enjoying life and doing just fine without you.
However, you should be suspicious if he’s started posting many more photos of him having fun on social media. It might be a sign that he’s trying a little too hard to show you (and everyone else) that single life without you is fantastic. Or, he could be trying to make you jealous and provoke a reaction.
11. He doesn’t react when you start dating again
If he sees you with a hot new guy on your arm, you should be able to get some clues about how he feels by looking at his body language and observing his behavior. You know him better than anyone, and you’ll be able to see beyond his attempts to play it cool.
Obvious signs that he’s jealous or still missing you include getting angry or defensive, looking sulky and withdrawn, avoiding eye contact, or even trying too hard to be friendly and act like he doesn’t care.
On the other hand, if he completely ignores you and your new guy or seems genuinely happy for you, it’s a strong sign that he’s moved on and doesn’t want you back.
Related post: Will he ever come back? 23 signs he’s not over you
The secret weapon to make him obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
The stakes are much lower today, but the competitive urge remains deeply rooted in male biology. Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers.
Imagine if you could harness all this competitive energy and make him miss you and become obsessed with you again.
The good news is that you can! And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the “hero instinct,” and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love.
Triggering a man’s hero instinct taps into his competitive spirit and makes him see your relationship as an opportunity to prove himself as a man. Making you happy gives him purpose and a “game” to win.
Instead of you chasing him, he will jump through hoops to impress you and win your approval. In a matter of days, he’ll become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible.
And the best part is that you can do all this without playing hard to get or acting like a damsel in distress. As long as he’s still willing to see you, you can trigger his hero instinct and show him that you’re the only woman he really needs.
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but it’s the real deal. James’ techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
12. His friends have ghosted you
Do his friends still talk to you and include you in group events, or have they completely cut you out of their social circle?
If he misses you but is afraid to make contact, his friends are the perfect way for him to stay connected without facing you directly. He could encourage them to keep in touch to check up on you and see how you’re doing without him.
But, if his friends are ghosting you, he’s probably told them to cut ties. Either he doesn’t want to lead you on, or he’s hoping you’ll get the message that your relationship is over for good.
13. He’s stopped following you on social media
This one is tricky because there are several reasons why he may have stopped following you on social media. He might be missing you, and the constant reminders of you popping up in his feed are just too painful. Or, perhaps he’s started dating someone new and doesn’t want you to see what’s going on in his life.
And, of course, there’s always the chance that he has no interest in being friends with you anymore, and unfollowing you is his way of moving on.
14. He actively avoids you
Nothing makes his feelings more apparent than if he actively avoids seeing you. He won’t show up to places where he knows you’ll be, and he’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that the two of you don’t cross paths.
In contrast, if he wanted to get back together with you, he would go out of his way to bump into you and “accidentally” run into you as often as possible.
15. He can’t get away from you fast enough
And if he is forced into a situation where he can’t avoid you, he can’t get away from you fast enough. He avoids eye contact, makes sure he doesn’t get trapped talking to you and is always looking for an excuse to leave.
16. He’s stopped respecting you
Mutual respect is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, and he definitely doesn’t miss you if he’s stopped treating you with respect.
Perhaps he talks down to you, dismisses your opinions, or interrupts you when you’re speaking. He might make sarcastic or hurtful comments or roll his eyes at you in annoyance.
If he’s angry at the way your relationship ended, it’s understandable that he might lash out and try to hurt you intentionally. But you deserve to be treated with respect, so don’t be afraid to call him out if he crosses the line and says things that are out of bounds.
Related post: 23 signs your relationship is beyond repair
17. He’s never looked better
If he’s suddenly looking sharp and put-together all the time, it could be because he’s finally over your breakup and feeling confident and attractive again. Or perhaps he’s met someone new and is trying to impress her.
On the other hand, he might be trying to make you jealous and miss him by showing off his new style. Especially if he never seemed to care about his appearance when you were together.
18. He looks sorry for you
There’s nothing worse than your ex looking at you with pity. He’s already completely moved on and can tell you’re still struggling to deal with the breakup. It’s even worse if he says things like, “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” or, “It’s hard to see you like this.”
If you can’t keep your emotions in check, the best thing you can do is avoid him altogether. Use the no contact rule and give yourself the space and time you need to heal before facing him again.
19. He tells you to your face
If he tells you to your face that he doesn’t miss you, then believe him. It’s tempting to think he’s just saying it to hurt you and get a reaction, but he might be telling the truth.
And if he is trying to hurt you, the best thing you can do is not to give him the satisfaction of seeing you upset. Smile and tell him that you’re doing great, even if it’s the last thing you want to do.
