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Are you trying to figure out what guys like in a girl so you can be a better girlfriend? Or perhaps you’re wondering why guys always seem attracted to you at first but then slowly start to pull away and lose interest.
Don’t worry, it’s a very common problem that many women deal with, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just need to understand the male mind and learn what drives men in their relationships.
The good news is, men aren’t all that complicated to understand. They’re driven by primal emotions and a desire to feel needed, appreciated, and excited by their partner.
In this article, I’ll break it down for you and share 17 traits that guys like in a woman, and more importantly, what makes guys stick around and commit for the long term.
1. Let him chase you
One of the most important things to understand about men is that they love the thrill of the chase.
If you’re always available to him and you’re not challenging him or making him jump through a few hoops to get your attention, he’ll quickly lose interest and start looking elsewhere for someone who excites him.
It’s human nature – we love the challenge of getting the most valuable things to us. But if those things come too easily, they don’t hold as much value in our eyes.
There are many subtle ways you can make him feel like he’s working hard for your attention.
In the early days of your relationship, don’t be afraid to flat-out ignore him to keep him keen and coming back for more.
Take your time responding to some of his texts and make him wait before you meet up with him again.
Act super busy when he calls and be mysterious about what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.
Even if you’ve been with your man for a long while, there are still ways to make him chase you and feel that rush of excitement that comes from chasing a woman.
Don’t tell him every move you’re going to make and surprise him by changing up your style or being unpredictable.
2. Embrace the spirit of adventure
Guys love girls who are open to new experiences and embrace their adventurous side.
If you’re stuck in a routine or afraid of trying anything new, there’s a risk he’ll start feeling bored with your company.
Sharing new and exciting experiences with him deepens your bond and makes him feel closer to you. It creates shared memories and a sense of adventure in your relationship.
I’m not suggesting you need to do something completely crazy to make him fall in love with you. Just be the kind of girl that’s up for having adventures and keen to try new things.
For example, if he suggests going out and doing something different on a Saturday night, say yes! Don’t make excuses or try to plan the same old thing you always do because that’s what you’re comfortable with.
If he asks if you want to join him in his favorite hobby, don’t tell him no just because his idea of fun is completely foreign to yours. Whether you end up liking it or not, I guarantee he’ll be impressed that you gave it a go and feel special that you took an interest in what he cares about.
3. Have a sense of humor
Guys aren’t looking for a girl who can tell good jokes and make them laugh out loud (although that’s a great skill).
What guys like in a woman is someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously and can see the funny side of life.
He knows you’ll stay upbeat when things don’t go according to plan. You’ll see the bigger picture and keep your sense of humor even in the darkest moments.
He can relax around you and let his guard down because he knows you won’t get upset over every minor thing he says or does wrong (and he’ll probably do a lot wrong).
Men also like women who aren’t afraid to tease and make playful jokes to lighten the mood. It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously, and you can laugh at the little imperfections of life.
If he makes an embarrassing mistake or does something stupid, let him know what he did was funny, so he doesn’t feel like such an idiot!
4. Be sexy but subtle
Men like a woman with subtle sex appeal who can wear her look with effortless confidence. To really turn a guy on, make sure you dress in a way that shows off the best parts of your body but also keeps him guessing what’s underneath all those layers.
Men want to see the shape of your body and some skin, but they also want plenty left to the imagination. It’s what they don’t see that really drives them crazy and gets their hearts racing with all sorts of dirty thoughts.
If you get the recipe right, he’ll be thinking about you day and night, wondering what you’re wearing underneath your outfit and when he’s going to get the chance to find out for himself.
The secret weapon to make him obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
The stakes are much lower today, but the competitive urge remains deeply rooted in male biology. Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers.
Imagine if you could harness all this competitive energy and make a man obsessed with winning your love.
You can. And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the “hero instinct,” and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love.
Triggering a man’s hero instinct taps into his competitive spirit and makes him see your relationship as an opportunity to prove himself as a man. Making you happy gives him purpose and a “game” to win.
Instead of you chasing him, he will jump through hoops to impress you and win your approval. In a matter of days, he’ll become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible.
And the best part is that you can do all this without playing hard to get or acting like a damsel in distress.
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but it’s the real deal. James’ techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
Here’s the link to the free video again.
5. Be naughty and nice
Show him your naughty side by being spontaneous, unpredictable, and surprising. Wear something sexy for no reason, flirt outrageously with him in public or play a naughty game with him in the bedroom.
Definitely don’t be afraid to show him you have a wild side in the bedroom. Most guys love it when a woman knows what she likes in bed and isn’t afraid to take charge.
On the other hand, be nice by respecting him, appreciating him, and showing him that you support his goals and dreams. Communicate openly and honestly and be trustworthy and consistent, so he knows what to expect from you.
This intoxicating combination will make him fall hard for you. He knows you’ll be the kind of girl he can always count on but will still keep him guessing and never make him feel bored.
6. Show him your feminine side
If you want men to find you attractive, don’t be shy about embracing your feminine side. Let him see the girly side of you by wearing cute dresses, skirts, or high heels when he takes you out on dates.
The key is again to be unpredictable and surprise him. He loves you just as much when you hang out in sweat pants and a t-shirt but showing him your sexy feminine side every once in a while will be an incredible treat he’ll dream about every day.
Being feminine also doesn’t mean you have to give up your hard-won status as an alpha female. You can be both feminine and a strong, powerful woman, and your man will love both aspects of your personality equally.
7. Be ambitious and go after what you want
Guys like women who are independent and ambitious. Women who know what they want from life and have the will to go after it.
He appreciates that you love yourself and have your own goals and dreams. There’s no danger of you defining your sense of self-worth through him.
He also doesn’t need to be worried that you’ll make him feel smothered or trapped. There’s nothing that turns a guy off more completely than a needy girl who requires constant reassurance and validation.
8. Intelligence is sexy
There’s actually a good reason why males and females are strongly attracted to smart partners. It comes from evolution, where the brainiest people were most likely to survive and pass on their genes.
But today, intelligence is still one of the biggest factors that drive attraction between men and women. This is because being intelligent is correlated with success, higher earnings potential, and social status.
Intelligence is also associated with greater emotional stability (not reacting emotionally or overreacting), better problem-solving skills, and higher coping abilities.
So if you’re a smart girl who thinks before she speaks and makes carefully reasoned decisions, men will appreciate your mind just as much as they appreciate your looks.
9. Show him how confident you are
A confident woman is comfortable in her skin and knows she can hold her own against any man in the bedroom or the boardroom. This makes men feel secure, safe, and relaxed around you because they know there won’t be any drama or manipulations.
A confident girl also doesn’t need to seek validation from others (especially men) which makes other people respect and admire her even more.
Show him how confident you are by speaking your mind and telling him exactly what you want. Don’t be passive-aggressive, vague, or apologize for yourself if you’ve done nothing wrong.
Men want to feel like they’ve earned the respect and admiration of an equal partner who can stand by them in every sense of the word.
10. Emotionally support him
Emotional support is one of the biggest things men look for in a woman. Part of what he’s looking for is a friend and a lover who will be there for him when the going gets tough. Someone who will help him grow, learn, and become a better man rather than trying to change or manipulate him.
Emotional support is also what he wants from you when he’s sick, down in the dumps, or just feeling insecure about himself as a person. He’ll come to depend on your emotional strength and feel safe enough around you that he can open up and be genuinely vulnerable with you.
But even more importantly, he wants a trusted partner and confidant that he can rely on for advice and guidance when he has a problem or needs to make a difficult decision.
You don’t have to be perfect (or even close), but you do need to make him feel like he can always count on your support. This is why emotional stability and intelligence are so important in women who want a lasting relationship with men.
11. Be kind and caring to others
It’s no surprise that guys like women who are kind and caring towards others. Everyone wants a partner that they can truly trust. Someone who cares about the feelings of others and doesn’t just think about their own needs.
After all, if you can’t even be a good friend or family member, how can he expect you to take care of him and love him the way he deserves?
But kindness isn’t just about being nice. It’s also about having genuine empathy for others. It means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes when they’re feeling down, insecure or vulnerable so that you can understand their position and see the world from their perspective.
If your man sees that you genuinely care for other people (including strangers), then he’ll know exactly what kind of wonderful person you are deep down inside.
12. Control your emotions
Emotional control is about managing your emotions and impulses so that you can think clearly, rationally, and objectively when faced with difficult situations.
Emotional control is desirable to a guy because he knows you can keep your cool when things get tough.
It means that the two of you will be able to work out your problems in a mature way without resorting to name-calling or petty fights over trivial issues.
He also knows that you’ll be calm under pressure and be a great partner to have by his side in a crisis. He’ll know the advice you give him will be well thought out and helpful because you’ll be able to look at the problem calmly and rationally.
13. Communicate honestly
Honest and open communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Still, men find it particularly attractive when it comes from women.
He wants you to be honest and open with him about your feelings, thoughts, and opinions, even if they might cause an argument or disagreement.
He hates playing games and wants to know exactly where he stands with you without having to try and read your mind or guess what you’re feeling.
The silent treatment is not a helpful way of dealing with problems and will simply drive a wedge between the two of you.
Instead, be open and honest with him about what’s going on in your head. Help him understand why you’re feeling upset or angry, so he doesn’t have to try and figure it out for himself.
14. Support his hobbies and interests
When you support his hobbies and interests, it makes him feel like you’re really tuned into who he is as a person.
It shows that you care about the things he cares about, even if they might not be your top priority in life.
Encouraging him to spend time on his hobbies also shows him that you value his free time and want him to have a balance between work, play, and spending quality time with you.
It’s a clear signal that you’re not trying to control him and that you’re not possessive or jealous of the time he spends away from you.
Instead, supporting his interests shows him that you love and respect him enough to understand what’s important to him even if it isn’t particularly important to you!
15. Make an effort with his friends
Even if you don’t know his friends very well (or don’t get along with them), it’s a good idea to make an effort with them.
It shows him that you care about what’s important to him and that you’re willing to make an effort for his sake.
Making an effort with his friends is also an excellent way for you to learn more about his past and what makes him tick. His friends will be only too happy to dish up all the good stories you want about his past exploits.
Giving your man plenty of space to spend time with his friends alone is also a great idea. It will make sure he never feels suffocated or worries that you’re trying to take away his independence.
