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Lots of guys seem like a good catch on the surface, but they turn out to be total duds once you get to know them on a deeper level.
So what qualities should you look for in a good man who will make a great long-term partner? It’s a great question to ask, whether you’re looking for a new man or wondering if you’ve made the right choice.
In this article, I’m not going to focus on what he looks like, how much money he has, or how good he is in bed. Instead, I’ll focus on personality traits that make a man worthy of being your loving and committed partner for life.
1. He respects you
A good man treats you respectfully and never tries to control or manipulate you. He listens to your opinions and values your advice, even if he doesn’t always agree with you. He never puts you down or tries to make you feel inferior or unworthy.
2. He’s proud of you
When you achieve something great, he’s proud of you and genuinely happy for your success. He builds you up and celebrates with you, rather than feeling threatened by your accomplishments or jealous of your successes.
3. He loves spending time with you
A good man enjoys being around you and loves spending quality time with you. He makes an effort to see you and regularly contacts you if he’s away from your side. You’re always in his thoughts, and he’s excited to see you when you’re together.
4. He makes you feel special
He understands your love language and knows all the ways to make you feel special and loved. Whether it’s bringing you breakfast in bed, taking you on surprise dates, or just cuddling with you on the couch, he knows how to make you feel loved and cherished.
5. He’s emotionally mature
A good man is comfortable with his emotions and isn’t afraid to express them. He doesn’t try to hide his feelings from you or bottle them up inside.
He understands that open and honest communication is key to a healthy relationship. If he has a problem, he talks to you about it instead of withdrawing or pushing you away. He also knows how to handle conflict constructively and isn’t afraid to apologize when he’s wrong.
The secret ingredient that will make him fall for you
All men have a biological urge to feel useful and needed in their relationships. They crave the chance to step up and test their strengths and abilities.
This urge comes from a time when men had to compete to survive and protect their families from wild animals and rival tribes. Even though life was hard, they were constantly challenged and lived lives of purpose and meaning.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the “hero instinct,” and it explains why so many women struggle to attract guys and keep them committed.
The stakes are much lower today, but the need to feel useful remains deeply rooted in male biology. If a man doesn’t feel useful and needed in his relationship, he constantly feels like something is missing. These lingering doubts prevent him from fully committing and eventually cause him to go cold, emotionally pull away, or even be unfaithful.
The amazing thing is that you can learn how to trigger the hero instinct in any man. And when you do, you’ll give him exactly what he’s missing and make him feel deeply satisfied and content in your relationship. You’ll become his biggest priority and destroy any fear of commitment lingering in the back of his mind.
When you trigger a man’s hero instinct, he becomes comfortable fully investing in your relationship because he knows he’ll never need anyone else. In a matter of days, you’ll notice him become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed was possible.
Never again will you have to deal with his hot and cold behavior, distance, or silence. He’ll think you’re reading his mind, and he’ll thank you for it every day.
So how do you trigger the hero instinct in a man?
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him want to work for your love and admiration.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but James’ techniques use proven psychology to tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
6. He’s kind
A kind-hearted guy is someone you can rely on to be there for you when you need him. He’s the type of person who would never take advantage of you or do anything to hurt you intentionally. You know he has your best interests at heart and always wants what’s best for you.
Just as importantly, he also treats other people with kindness and respect. He’s the type who would never say or do anything to hurt someone else deliberately. He’s always looking out for other people and goes out of his way to help those in need.
7. He’s thoughtful
Being thoughtful means he remembers what you tell him and anticipates your needs. He knows what’s important to you and tries to incorporate those things into your relationship.
He’s always thinking ahead and planning, so you never have to worry about him forgetting important dates or anniversaries. And if he has an important decision to make, he thinks about how it will affect you and always considers your feelings.
8. He’s affectionate
A good man is comfortable expressing his affection for you. He’s not afraid to show you how he feels, and he doesn’t hold back when it comes to physical intimacy.
He loves being close to you and enjoys cuddling, kissing, and holding hands. Even when he’s tired or stressed, he knows how important touch is in a relationship and makes an effort to keep your physical connection alive.
9. He’s committed to you
A lot of men struggle with commitment because they’re afraid of losing their freedom. But a good man isn’t scared to commit to you and doesn’t see commitment as a prison sentence.
Instead, he sees it as a natural progression of a happy and healthy relationship. He’s proud to call you his girlfriend and excited to share his life with you.
10. He’s calm & stable
Being calm and stable under pressure is a sign of true confidence, and it’s a beautiful quality to have in a partner. You know you can always count on him to stay level-headed in a crisis, and he never panics or acts impulsively.
Even when you argue, he never yells or makes personal attacks on you. He stays calm and respectful and always tries to see things from your perspective.
11. He’s practical
Being practical is about having common sense and thinking critically to make intelligent decisions. It’s the ability to see things for what they are and not get caught up in emotions or negativity.
A practical man won’t take unnecessary risks just for fun or excitement. He takes his time, thinks everything through, and makes a plan before making a decision.
However, being practical doesn’t mean he’s uninteresting or unadventurous. He knows how to enjoy life and have fun but is responsible and level-headed when it matters most.
12. He’s positive
Positivity is a sign of emotional intelligence, a quality that every good man possesses. He looks on the bright side of life and can find the silver lining in even the darkest situation.
No matter what challenges you face as a couple, he always believes you can overcome them together. He has faith in you and knows you’re strong enough to handle anything that comes your way.
13. He’s patient
Patience is a virtue and an essential quality in a good man. He knows how to control his temper and never reacts impulsively or lashes out in anger. Even when you make a mistake or do something that frustrates him, he always remains patient and listens to your side of the story.
14. He’s humble
A good man is humble and modest and doesn’t feel the need to constantly put himself in the spotlight. He’s comfortable letting other people take the credit and doesn’t need to be the center of attention all the time.
He knows his strengths and weaknesses and is confident without being cocky. He’s able to laugh at himself and doesn’t take himself too seriously.
15. He supports your goals
A good man wants to see you succeed in life, and he supports your goals and dreams even if it means making sacrifices. He’ll pick up the slack without complaining if you need to work long hours, study for an exam, or need extra time to pursue your interests.
16. He’s generous
He’s not stingy or selfish, and he doesn’t keep a score of who’s giving or taking more in the relationship. He knows that the best relationships are built on mutual trust and generosity, and he’s more than happy to give more than he receives.
17. He’s reliable
You can always count on a good man to be there when you need him. He’s reliable and trustworthy, and he always keeps his promises. If he says he’s going to do something, you know he’ll follow through.
If he’s going to be late or has to cancel plans, he’ll always let you know as soon as possible. He hates to let people down, and he would never deliberately make you feel like you’re not a priority in his life.
18. He’s loyal
A good man is fiercely loyal to the people he cares about and is always there for his friends and family when they need him. He values loyalty and trust above all else, and he would never betray your trust or do anything to hurt you.
19. He’s protective
A good man is naturally protective of the people he loves and always wants to ensure that you’re safe and sound. He’s not overbearing or controlling, but he takes your safety and well-being seriously.
If you ever find yourself in a dangerous or difficult situation, you know he’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and make sure you come out unscathed, even if it means putting himself in harm’s way.
20. He’s a good listener
A good man knows how to listen and is always interested in hearing what you have to say. He doesn’t interrupt or try to change the subject and makes sure to give you his full attention when you’re talking. He remembers the details of what you tell him and asks follow-up questions to show that he’s genuinely listening.
21. He says what he means
Some guys expect their partner to be a mind reader, but a good man knows that communication is vital in any relationship. He says what he means without trying to hide behind vague words or empty promises. He’s honest with you, even when it’s something you might not want to hear.
He knows that communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, and he’s not afraid to work hard to ensure you always understand each other.
22. He’s accountable for his actions
If he makes a mistake, he owns up to it and takes responsibility for his actions. He doesn’t try to blame someone else or make excuses for his behavior.
Just as importantly, he accepts that everyone makes mistakes and is always willing to forgive and forget. He knows that no one is perfect and doesn’t expect you to be either.
23. He has integrity
A good man always does the right thing, even when it’s unpopular or inconvenient. He has a strong moral compass, and you can always count on him to do the right thing, even when no one is watching. He has strong principles that he lives by and isn’t afraid to stand up for his beliefs.
24. He’s polite
Politeness is an underappreciated quality these days, but a good man still knows how to be mannerly and respectful. He opens doors for you, helps you with your coat, and always uses please and thank you.
He knows that small acts of courtesy can make a big difference in how people feel, and he always goes to make sure everyone around him feels comfortable and respected.
25. He’s open-minded
Being open-minded means that he’s willing to see things from your perspective and doesn’t immediately dismiss your ideas or opinions just because they’re different from his own. He’s always open to hearing you out and considering your point of view, even if he disagrees with it.
26. He’s intelligent
Instead of rushing into things or acting impulsively, he takes the time to think things through and looks at the situation carefully before making a decision.
And when it comes to his opinions, he can back them up with logic and reason instead of just emotion. He respects and values experts, and he’s always looking to learn new things and expand his horizons.
27. He’s not afraid of hard work
He knows that anything worth having requires hard work, and he’s always willing to put in extra effort to achieve his goals. Whether staying late at work, working on his hobbies, or helping you around the house, he’s not afraid to roll up his sleeves and get his hands dirty.
28. He trusts you
A good man assumes that he can trust you to do the right thing by him. He doesn’t get jealous or possessive and doesn’t freak out if he sees you talking to another guy. He respects your boundaries and would never invade your privacy by snooping through your things or spying on your text messages.
29. He confides in you
He knows that he can trust you with his innermost thoughts and feelings, and he confides in you about the things that are important to him. If he has a problem or a difficult decision to make, he asks for your input because he knows that you’ll give him an honest and unbiased opinion.
30. He has a good sense of humor
A good man knows how to laugh, even at himself. He doesn’t take life too seriously and knows that laughter is the best way to diffuse a tense or awkward situation.
He also knows how to make you laugh and enjoys making you smile and feel good. He knows that laughter is one of the best ways to connect with someone, and he uses his sense of humor to make sure you always feel loved and appreciated.
31. He makes an effort with your family & friends
Family is important to him, and he tries to get to know your extended family. Even if he doesn’t see eye to eye with them on everything, he always treats them with the respect they deserve because he knows how much they mean to you.
He also makes an effort to get to know your friends and build relationships with them. He asks about their lives, takes an interest in their hobbies and relationship drama, and always makes sure they feel welcome.
32. He’s not afraid to be vulnerable
Being vulnerable isn’t easy for many guys, but a good man isn’t afraid to open up and share his feelings with you. He knows that being vulnerable is a strength, not a weakness, and he’s not afraid to show you his softer side.
He knows he can open up to you about his fears, insecurities, and doubts without feeling ashamed, and he doesn’t put up barriers when things get difficult or push you away because he wants to protect himself from getting hurt.
Instead, his vulnerability creates a connection that allows you to know and love each other deeply and honestly.
33. He’s honest
He’s always honest with you, even when it might lead to a difficult conversation. He doesn’t sugarcoat the truth or lie to spare your feelings, but he also doesn’t try to hurt you with his words deliberately.
34. He’s grateful
He’s grateful for what he has and doesn’t take the good things in his life for granted. He knows every day is a gift, and he shows appreciation for the people and things he loves. He expresses his gratitude in big and small ways, and he always ensures you feel loved, appreciated, and valued.
35. He respects your values
Respecting your values is essential to him, even if they don’t align perfectly with his own. He knows that your values are a big part of who you are, and he doesn’t try to change or undermine them.
Instead, he accepts them and works to find common ground between your two worldviews. He knows that love and respect are more important than agreeing on everything, and he’s always willing to compromise.
36. He has his own life
He has hobbies and interests and a close group of friends he sees often. He doesn’t rely on you to make him happy or complete, and he knows it’s essential to have a life outside your relationship to maintain a healthy balance.
37. He makes you feel good about yourself
He makes you feel good about yourself because he encourages you to be the best version of yourself that you can be. You become stronger as a person and in your relationship through his encouragement, love, and positivity.
38. He treats you like an equal
True equality in a relationship means that both partners feel respected, heard, and valued. You’re both on the same team, working towards the same goal, and he doesn’t try to control or manipulate you into doing what he wants. Instead, he listens to you and respects your choices, even if he doesn’t always agree with them.
39. He knows how lucky he is to have you
At the end of the day, he knows how lucky he is to have you in his life. He doesn’t take you for granted and knows that your relationship is a gift. He shows his love and appreciation for you in both big and small ways, and he always makes sure you know how much he cares.
