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Your family is the one group of people in your life that you should be able to rely on no matter what.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re a kid, a teenager, or a fully grown adult – everyone needs a family they can count on.
Their job is to give you unconditional love & support when things get tough and celebrate with you when you achieve your dreams.
But when you feel like your family doesn’t care about you, it can make you feel isolated, alone, and confused.
Family relationships can be complicated because we don’t get to choose them.
Maybe you feel like they don’t have any time for you, they constantly criticize your choices, or they flat out neglect you altogether.
If all this sounds familiar, try not to worry too much. There are things you can do to deal with a toxic family and help restore your family relationships.
Here are 16 signs that your family doesn’t care about you – and how to deal with it.
1. You feel neglected
If you feel like your basic needs are neglected, it’s a sign that your family doesn’t care about you.
This could be anything from being left on your own for long periods to not having enough food in the house when you’re hungry.
It also includes things like being ignored, overlooked, or disrespected by other people in the family.
If this is happening to you, then try talking with them about how their behavior makes you feel and see if they can change going forward.
If they don’t, then know that there are plenty of ways to get support. Neglect is extremely serious and not something you should have to deal with alone.
If you’re being neglected as a child, then it should be considered abuse. That’s something that should be taken seriously by the authorities.
Don’t try to handle this alone. Talk to someone about what’s happening so they can help you get out of your situation!
2. You feel constantly let down
Feeling constantly let down by your family makes you feel like they don’t care about you.
It could be anything from breaking promises to always letting you down when it comes to things like birthdays or special occasions.
Other examples of being let down might be if they don’t come to visit you when they said they would or fail to show up at the last minute.
If this is happening, it’s important that you speak with them about how their behavior makes you feel and its impact on your relationship.
Ask them why they’re always letting you down – do they not care about you? Do they not like you anymore? What’s going on that is making them act this way towards you?
When your family members say they’re going to do something, you expect them to follow through.
3. They try to control you
It’s very common for someone in a family to try and control or manipulate everyone else.
They might try to tell you what to wear, how to look, or who to spend your time with. Or maybe it’s as simple as being told not to have friends of a certain race or religion.
These things may seem harmless at first, but they add up to create a controlling and toxic environment over time.
If this is happening to you, try talking with them about why they’re acting this way and how their behavior makes you feel.
Are they trying to control or manipulate things in some other ways too?
If you can get to the bottom of why they’re acting like this towards you and their true motivations, then it will be easier for you to understand them better.
Once your family understands how their behavior makes you feel, they’ll hopefully change going forward.
Talking with them directly might seem scary, but it’s important to remember that this is your life. If someone is treating you in a way that makes you feel bad, then it’s okay for you to want things to change!
4. They constantly criticize you & put you down
Some families aren’t big on giving each other praise, but that’s very different from constantly criticizing and putting each other down.
If your family is constantly belittling you, it might start to feel like they don’t care about you at all. Especially if the criticism focuses on very personal things (such as how you look or who you spend time with).
This kind of behavior can make you feel like they don’t value you, are embarrassed by you or that there’s something fundamentally wrong with who you are as a person.
It can also make it hard for anyone to want to be around them – especially if the criticism makes reference to other people in your family too!
5. They don’t make you a priority
If your family doesn’t make you a priority, then this is something that needs to change.
Perhaps they tell you they’re going to do something, like help you with a project or give you a ride somewhere important – then at the last minute, they don’t follow through.
Or maybe they never make you a priority when spending time together because their own needs always take precedence.
If you’ve got a problem, your family should be willing to put you first and do whatever they can to help.
6. They start an argument about everything
Does every conversation you have with your family end up in an argument?
Every family has arguments, but there’s a big difference between a family that argues over important things and one that does it over trivial things.
Your ideas and opinions need to be respected. If your family starts to argue with every single thing that comes out of your mouth, then it’s a sign they don’t care about you or respect you.
Perhaps this is because they want everything their own way, think the world revolves around them, or are just argumentative by nature – whatever the reason for it definitely isn’t healthy!
7. They don’t value what’s important to you
If there’s something that really matters to you and your family doesn’t value it, then they’re not really thinking about your needs at all.
There will always be different opinions and ideas within a family – this is inevitable. But having an opinion isn’t the same as disrespecting someone’s wishes or values (even if you disagree with them).
If your family constantly dismisses what matters to you, it’s a sign that they don’t care about you or respect your choices.
It can be really hurtful to have something important to you dismissed like this – especially if the thing in question is very personal and has deep meaning for you!
8. They make you feel guilty
Does your family make you feel guilty about your choices or beliefs?
When your family makes you feel guilty, what they’re actually doing is manipulating you into making decisions in line with their own desires or wishes.
Maybe this means going against something important to you because your family makes you feel bad about it. Or perhaps they make you act against your own morals or standards because of how guilty they’ve made you feel.
They might also try and make you feel guilty for living under their roof and for not showing them enough respect – even though you’ve done nothing wrong!
If this is happening, it means your family doesn’t care about you or the things that are important to you. They’re more concerned with getting their own way all of the time.
It’s also a sign they want control over every aspect of your life – which is pretty toxic in itself.
9. They’re always judging you
Everyone’s got an opinion about everything, and that includes your family!
But when every conversation with them ends up in a judgemental rant or lecture, it makes for nasty vibes all around. It doesn’t make anyone feel good to be constantly judged by the people they love.
If your family is constantly judging you, it’s a sign that they don’t care about you or respect you as an individual – and that means they’re not on your side!
This is because judgemental behavior shows there’s no empathy towards others’ opinions or feelings.
10. They are only interested in your flaws
If your family is constantly pointing out the negative in you, it means they don’t see anything good about you.
It’s also a sign that they’re not really interested in getting to know who you truly are or what matters to you.
They might think this is helpful behavior – but it can be very hurtful and upsetting for the person on the receiving end.
11. They make you feel like nothing
Do you ever spend time with your family and come away feeling really low or upset?
If this happens, it might be due to negative behavior from certain members of the family who have made you feel like you’re worthless.
No matter where someone is in life, they should always be respected as a human being. If your family makes you feel worthless or ‘like nothing,’ it’s definitely not healthy!
It can leave you feeling really down and confused about yourself, which is the last thing anyone wants when they should be enjoying time with their loved ones!
12. They don’t respect your opinions
Does your family constantly make fun of the things you like? Do they dismiss everything you say?
If so, this could indicate that they simply don’t care about what you think.
Your opinions deserve to be taken seriously and respected.
You should never feel like an outcast in a place where you should always feel loved and valued – even if other people disagree with what matters to you!
13. They don’t respect your personal boundaries
This is a common problem for many people who have controlling family members.
Your boundaries are important to have in place, and they should be respected by everyone – especially those closest to you.
Personal boundaries can include all sorts of things – from physical boundaries to mental ones. For example, you might have a physical boundary where you don’t like to be touched by certain family members.
Or perhaps they make fun of the clothes or makeup you wear, and it makes you feel self-conscious about yourself when really it’s none of their business!
If this is happening, then your boundaries are being crossed unacceptably. It’s a sign your family doesn’t care about you or respect what matters to you – which is very toxic!
It’s essential not to tolerate any kind of abuse, whether physical or emotional, from anyone in your life.
14. They don’t respect your privacy
You have the right to your privacy and your own personal space – and that includes family members!
However, it’s easy to forget about privacy when you live with someone. All too often, people assume they have the right to go through their family member’s things or invade their space without permission.
It can be tough not to overstep boundaries if everyone has grown up doing so together as an unspoken rule in the home. But it is still very wrong!
If anyone does this, it means they don’t care about what really matters to you or respect who you are as a person – which makes them totally toxic!
You shouldn’t feel like an intruder by living somewhere, but instead at peace at home where all your needs and feelings can be respected and taken seriously.
If you notice this behavior, it’s best to calmly discuss your concerns with the person in question. Or even talk to someone else who might have more influence on them!
15. They’re only nice to you when they want something
Is your family only nice to you when they want something?
Maybe they only call you when they need a favor or have some other kind of request. Or perhaps they’re only nice to you when they need money or want to borrow something.
These are all signs that your family doesn’t really care about you and simply uses you for what’s in it for them!
It might feel good at first to be wanted, but it can quickly become exhausting and demeaning. You’re only seen as something useful for your family – not as an equal human being!
It’s also a sign that the relationship is entirely one-sided, making them pretty toxic to be around!
16. They gaslight you
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone tries to convince you that your version of reality is false.
This is often very subtle – for example, they might ‘forget’ something you said or do and then deny it ever happened.
Or maybe they’ll constantly pick at the way you dress and make fun of what interests you as a form of emotional abuse.
After all, if we start to question our own version of events and memories… What’s left? We lose ourselves!
If this kind of behavior has been going on in your family, it’s highly toxic, and it needs to stop.
It’s important to remember that you always deserve love, respect, and kindness – no matter what other people say or how they treat you! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being who you are!
Is my family toxic?
If you recognize many of the signs above, you may be living in a toxic family environment.
If you’re not sure, take some time to think about how your family makes you feel. It can also help to talk through your feelings with another trusted person.
There will always be people who don’t accept us for who we are. And these kinds of toxic people can fuel feelings of self-doubt!
It’s also important to remember that no matter what other people say, you’re the only person who gets to decide your own happiness. Don’t let anyone’s words hurt you – there are lots of ways to love yourself and feel good about your life!
How to deal with a family that doesn’t like you
So how do you deal with a family that doesn’t like you?
It can be heartbreaking to realize your own relatives don’t accept and support the version of yourself that matters most.
But it’s important not to blame yourself for their behavior, as we cannot control other people!
Here are 5 ways you can deal with a family that doesn’t care about you.
1. Don’t act like a victim
It might be challenging, but try not to act like a victim or become defensive when someone is being horrible.
This doesn’t mean you have to pretend they’re right, but rather it’s essential to be the bigger person and rise above their behavior!
For example, if your family makes fun of something that matters deeply to you – such as religion, gender identity or your political views – don’t play into what they want by giving them ammunition for their cruel words.
You can leave conversations feeling empowered, knowing that no matter how much other people try, there’s nothing wrong with who you are!
2. Try to let go of blame
It’s very easy to blame your family for being toxic, but this kind of negative energy only makes the problem worse!
Instead, try to think about how you can avoid these situations in the future – do they only come around in the holiday season? Can you spend more time with people who love and support you instead?
Once we start looking for solutions rather than dwelling on past events, things become a lot easier. Don’t let other people’s actions control your life – take back the power by making positive changes yourself!
Some family members may never accept or approve of you no matter what you say or do. That doesn’t mean it should stop us from living our best lives.
Don’t be afraid to toxic relationships out of your life! You deserve to surround yourself with people who love and support you. And don’t forget that there are always other ways to find happiness. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your life as long as you’re happy, healthy, and living the way you want to live!
3. Limit contact
If it’s possible for you, try to limit contact with these toxic family members. They may not be the best family in the world – but they’re still your blood relatives, and you can’t choose who is related to you!
So if possible, just try to have a few awkward conversations each year instead of spending too much time together.
This might mean going on holiday alone or focusing more on other supportive and positive relationships for you.
If that isn’t possible, then it’s okay to take some space from them, so you don’t feel overwhelmed by negativity all at once.
4. Communicate openly and honestly
Open and honest communication is vital in all relationships – but it’s especially true when dealing with toxic family members!
If you’re feeling hurt by their words or actions, don’t be afraid to tell them so.
You might feel ashamed at first for not being able to rise above what they say, but if your relatives are worth having in your life, then this is the best way forward.
5. Get help if you need it
If you feel overwhelmed by your family environment’s negativity, it’s important to get some help!
Whether that means reaching out for support from friends or family, talking to a therapist, or seeing your doctor – it’s always okay to ask for help. You don’t need to deal with toxic people on your own.
You deserve love and support in life. So surround yourself with the kind of people who will give you both things freely.
