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It can be tricky to tell if a girl is romantically interested in you or only likes you as a friend. She laughs at your jokes and always wants to hang out, but is that enough to assume she wants something more?
Unfortunately, no. Just because she likes spending time with you doesn’t mean she’s interested in anything more than friendship. So how can you figure out how she feels?
Here are 24 signs that she only sees you as a friend and what to do about it.
1. She doesn’t respond to your touch
If she stiffens or pulls away when you try to touch her hand or put your arm around her, it’s obvious she doesn’t want you to touch her in an intimate way.
Some people just don’t like to be touched, but it’s more likely that she’s giving you a signal that she doesn’t want anything more than friendship.
The only thing you can do is respect her boundaries and give her some more personal space. It’s clear she’s not ready to take things to the next level, and there’s nothing you can do except be a good friend and wait for her to come around.
If you keep trying to get physical when it’s clear she doesn’t want to be touched, you’ll make things awkward and push her away. That’s the last thing you want if you’re hoping to change her mind.
2. She’s slow to reply to your messages
When you text her, does she take a long time to reply? If she’s taking hours or even days to get back to you, it shows that you’re not her top priority.
If she liked you more than a friend, she would at least make the time to send you a quick message and let you know she’s busy. She’d say something like, “I can’t chat right now, but I’ll talk to you later.”
Unfortunately, all you can do is stay chill and wait for her to reply. The worst thing you can do at this point is send her multiple follow-up texts asking why she hasn’t responded. It will only make you look needy and desperate.
3. She talks about her love life
Talking to you about her love life is a sure sign she only sees you as a friend. Especially if she goes out of her way to tell you she’s interested in someone else.
She’s not intentionally trying to hurt your feelings because she has no clue about the way you feel. You’re her friend, and she feels comfortable confiding in you about her dating life and relationship drama.
All you can do is suck it up, nod sympathetically, and continue to be a supportive friend. Telling her to stop talking about other guys will only make you look like a possessive jerk and push her away.
4. She doesn’t flirt back
If she doesn’t flirt back, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re stuck in the friend zone. Some people are more reserved and don’t like to flirt, even if they’re interested.
But if you’ve been trying to flirt like crazy and she keeps ignoring you, it probably means she’s not interested. You’ve done everything you can at this point, and it’s time to back off. Fun and flirty can quickly become desperate and clingy if you push your luck too far.
5. She treats you like “one of the guys”
Being treated like one of the guys means she feels comfortable around you and can be herself. She doesn’t need to impress you; she can wear whatever she wants and knows you’re not judging her.
It’s a good sign she trusts you and sees you as a friend, but it also means she’s probably not interested in you romantically. If she wanted to be more than friends, you’d notice a change in her behavior. She’d start dressing up more, flirting with you, and trying to impress you.
If you want a lot more than friendship, hanging out with her is probably pretty frustrating and confusing. You feel a rush of hope every time she touches you, confides in you, or laughs at one of your dumb jokes, but it never leads to anything more.
If you don’t want to tell her how you feel, all you can do is keep your cool and hope she figures it out on her own.
6. She doesn’t try to look her best for you
Treating you like one of the guys means she doesn’t feel the need to impress you. She knows she can be herself around you and doesn’t need to dress up or put on a show. She’s happy hanging out in sweats and a t-shirt and doesn’t care if her hair is a mess.
If she had caught feelings for you, there’s a chance you would notice a subtle change in her appearance. She might take a bit more care with her hair or makeup or wear clothes that accentuate her best features.
However, if she’s normally low-key, you might not notice any difference in her appearance. There’s no reason why a girl should feel the need to change her appearance to impress a guy.
7. She sets you up with her friends
If she tries to set you up with one of her friends, it clearly signals that she doesn’t want to date you. She thinks you’re a great guy and wants you to be happy, but only with someone else.
Remember that she’s doing you a favor, and don’t get offended. If her friend is attractive and fun, my advice is to keep an open mind and see what happens. You never know, you might meet the new girl of your dreams and forget all about your crush.
8. She introduces you as a friend
This one is tricky because you’re not dating, so it makes perfect sense that she introduces you as a friend. However, you might be able to read a bit more into it than that.
If she emphasizes that you’re a friend or says you’re “just” a friend, it’s probably because she wants to clarify that there’s nothing romantic between you.
However, if she introduces you by name and doesn’t mention that you’re a friend at all, she’s happy to let other people make their own conclusions. It doesn’t help you much, but at least she hasn’t put a label on your relationship.
How to make her want you (without saying a word)
In a recent study, women were shown pictures of men and asked to rate their attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10.
But the researchers did something sneaky: they included multiple pictures of the same men standing and sitting in different positions with slightly different facial expressions.
Amazingly, women rated the same man very differently based on how he held himself. One way of standing would get him a rating of 5 or 6, and a minor adjustment would get him scores of 8 or 9.
How is this possible?
In ancient times, before spoken language existed, men had to seduce women without saying a single word. Body language was a man’s only tool to turn a woman on and convince him to sleep with her. As a result, the sexual part of a woman’s brain is much more responsive to the signals your body is giving off than to anything you say.
Relationship coach Kate Spring can show you how to use these body language signals to tap into any woman’s primal, biological desires and make her attracted to you.
These psychological body language techniques are so powerful that they bypass the logical part of a woman’s brain and compel her to think sexual thoughts about you. It doesn’t matter if she already has a boyfriend or has put you in the friend zone. She might even hate you, and she still won’t be able to resist.
And the best part is that these female mind hacks work for any guy. It doesn’t matter how attractive, wealthy, or confident you are talking to girls.
It sounds like a big claim, but Kate Spring is the real deal. She’s developed her methods using Harvard research and scientifically-validated psychological techniques.
Check out Kate’s free video presentation here.
You’ll be amazed at how differently women treat you and see you once you unlock the secret to body language attraction.
9. She invites other people when you make plans
Whenever you make plans with her, she always includes other people. It’s never just the two of you, and she doesn’t seem interested in having one-on-one time with you.
She probably doesn’t want to be alone with you because she knows you like her. To avoid any awkwardness, she surrounds you with other people to ensure there’s no chance of anything happening.
10. She always pays for herself
Just because a girl pays for herself doesn’t mean she’s not interested in you. But if she always insists on paying for herself, it might be because she doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea.
And even if you end up paying for drinks or dinner, she’ll make a note of it and pay you back as soon as possible. She doesn’t want any confusion about what’s going on between the two of you.
11. She won’t go on a date with you
If you asked her out on a date and she said no, she’s made her feelings clear. At this point, you need to back off and wait a good while before trying again.
What excuse did she give for not wanting to go out with you? If she said she’s not looking for a relationship right now then perhaps it’s worth trying again in a few months. But pretty much any other reason means it’s time to give up and move on.
The worst thing you can do is keep asking her out even though she’s said no. It will only make you look needy and potentially damage your friendship.
12. There’s no sexual tension
If she liked you romantically, the sexual tension between you would be palpable. She’d find every opportunity to touch you, flirt with you shamelessly, and make it very clear that she’s interested in you. Not only that, but all your friends would be commenting on how obvious it is that she likes you.
13. She flirts with other guys
Some people are naturally flirty, so this doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you. But it doesn’t look good for your future if she is constantly flirting with other guys. If she had romantic feelings for you, she’d make sure you know it by only flirting with you.
14. You don’t feel like a priority in her life
Friends make each other feel loved and valued, but you’ll never have the same priority in her life as a romantic partner. You need to get used to the idea that she’ll always take a hot date with a guy over spending time with you.
It doesn’t make her a bad person, and she still cares about you as a friend. If your roles were reversed, you’d do precisely the same thing.
15. Her hugs don’t feel intimate
You can tell a lot about how a girl feels about you from the way she hugs you. A platonic hug is brief and doesn’t involve any body contact. On the other hand, a sexy intimate hug is more prolonged, deeper, and involves her entire body pressing against yours. She’ll also probably rest her head on your chest and fully wrap her arms around you.
16. She tells you what a good friend you are
A girl who wants to date you is unlikely to tell you that you’re a good friend. She knows it would kill the mood, put you in the friend zone and make you think she’s not interested. Instead, she’ll find other ways to compliment you that clarify her feelings, such as saying you’re funny, clever, or attractive.
17. She doesn’t like to be teased
Teasing is a way to show affection in a playful and fun way. It deepens your connection because making fun of someone’s insecurities requires trust and a willingness to be vulnerable.
If she doesn’t like this kind of intimacy, it shows that she wants to keep some emotional distance between you and only thinks of you as a friend.
18. She’s not jealous when you date other girls
If you’re dating other girls and she’s not jealous, it probably means she doesn’t want to date you. If she liked you, she wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of you being with anyone else. Even if she’s happy for you, there would still be a tinge of jealousy there.
19. She talks about her relationship problems
Does it feel like you’ve become her relationship therapist? If she’s constantly confiding in you about her relationship problems, it’s because she sees you as a platonic friend and nothing more. She knows you’ll listen to her sympathetically and not judge her, which is what she needs from a friend.
But she’d be much more reserved if she wanted you to be her boyfriend. She wouldn’t want to say anything that made her look high maintenance, demanding, or less than a perfect girlfriend.
20. She focuses on herself
When two people connect romantically, they want to learn as much as they can about each other. But if your conversations feel one-sided and are mostly focused on her, there isn’t much of a deep emotional connection taking place.
If she’s interested in you, she’ll ask you lots of questions and try to find out as much about you as possible. She’ll want to know your likes and dislikes, your hopes and dreams, and she’ll want to share her own with you too.
21. She hasn’t introduced you to her friends
If she wanted to date you, her friends would already know everything about you. She would be excited to show you off, and they would be dying to meet you and see what all the fuss is about. Her friends know her better than anyone, and their opinion (and approval) would mean a lot to her.
22. She makes plans without you
If she thinks of you as just another one of her friends, she’ll make all kinds of plans that don’t involve you. And why wouldn’t she? She doesn’t want to date you, so she has no reason to invite you to every event she attends.
On the other hand, if she were interested, she would make sure you’re included in her plans as much as possible. Why? Because she would want to spend as much time as possible with you and share her special moments with you.
23. She’s not interested in the details
If she liked you as more than a friend, she would be interested in everything you do. She would want to know what you’re thinking, feeling, and doing every day. But if she sees you as just a friend, she’ll be much less interested in the day-to-day details of your life.
24. She’s not nervous around you
Ever since you started liking her as more than a friend, I’m sure you feel a little bit nervous and tongue-tied around her. You want to impress her, and you’re worried you might say something wrong.
Can you tell she’s a little nervous around you as well? If she’s completely relaxed and comfortable, there’s likely no sexual tension between you. She knows she doesn’t have to impress you because there’s no chance of anything happening between you.
What do you do if she doesn’t like you more than a friend?
1. Show her how confident and fun you can be
Girls love confident men, so make an effort to be outgoing and engaging. This doesn’t mean that you should turn into someone you’re not, but try to show her the best version of yourself.
Always be positive and try to make her laugh. Be the life of the party, and she’ll start to see you in a new light. Plan a spontaneous trip or take her out somewhere she’s never been. It will show her your adventurous side and prove that you’re willing to have fun and get outside your comfort zone.
It might be hard to maintain your enthusiasm when all you want to do is mope around and feel sorry for yourself. But putting on a brave face and being upbeat is your best shot at getting her to like you back.
2. Give her space
If she’s not interested in you, the worst thing you can do is try to force yourself into her life. This will only make things awkward and will damage your friendship.
Give her some space and let her come to you when she’s ready. In the meantime, focus on your own life, and don’t let her consume all of your mental energy. Spend time with your other friends and pursue your hobbies and goals.
And who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone else in the meantime who is actually interested in you.
It’s important to remember that you can’t make someone like you. If she doesn’t feel the same way about you, then it’s time to move on and find someone who does.
3. Use your body language
The body language you display to a girl can be a powerful non-verbal way of conveying your interest in her.
Make sure you stand up straight with your shoulders back and chest out. This will make you look more confident and attractive. Maintain solid eye contact, but don’t stare into her eyes for too long, or you’ll come across as creepy. And when you’re talking to her, lean in slightly so she knows you’re interested in what she has to say.
If you want to learn how to use body language to your advantage, I recommend you watch this free video by relationship coach Kate Spring.
Kate will show you how to use specific body language cues to make any girl feel attracted to you. It sounds impossible, but her advice is based on Harvard psychological research into love and attraction.
She’s helped hundreds of guys get out of the friend zone and go on to have great relationships with the girls of their dreams.
Here’s the link to her free video again.
4. Ask her straight out if she likes you
If you really want to know how she feels about you, you’ll have to swallow your fear and ask her outright.
Pick a time when she seems relaxed, and make sure it’s a private moment where you won’t be interrupted. Just keep it simple and try not to make things awkward. All you need to say is, “Do you think there’s a chance we could ever be more than friends?”
Phrasing the question this way is deliberate and allows her to say “no” flat out. However, it also lets her leave the door open for something to happen in the future.
If the answer is “yes,” then great! You can make a move and see what happens. Hug her, put your arm around her, or go in for a kiss if you think that’s what she wants.
But if she says “maybe,” you need to understand what’s holding her back. Is she seeing someone else? Is she not sure if she likes you that way? Getting to the bottom of her hesitation is the key to moving things forward.
If she’s worried about ruining your friendship, assure her you’re willing to take things slow and see what happens.
And if she’s seeing someone else, all you can do is keep being a good friend and hope that she eventually realizes she’d rather be with you.
