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Have you ever thought about the fact that there are many different types of hugs? They all have very different meanings and are appropriate in different situations.
Some hugs are very intimate and only work between romantic partners. Other hugs are much more casual and show affection or gratitude between friends. And then there are the super awkward one-sided hugs where one person clearly isn’t feeling the hug vibes.
But what does it mean when a guy hugs you from behind?
The hug from behind often feels like it falls into the grey area between romantic and casual and could have a lot of meanings. Does he like me, is he just being friendly, or is something else going on?
Keep reading to learn all the different meanings of the hug from behind and why it’s definitely a romantic hug.
What is a hug from behind?
Before we look at all the different meanings of the hug from behind, let’s make sure we understand exactly what a hug from behind looks like.
A hug from behind is when a guy walks (or sneaks) up behind you and then wraps his arms around your waist or chest.
The front of his body is pressed up against your back and butt, and his head rests on your shoulder, so your faces are very close together. If he’s taller than you, he may even be able to rest his chin on the top of your head.
What does a hug from behind mean?
1. It’s a show of trust
A hug from behind puts the guy in a very dominant position.
Because he’s approaching you from behind, you might not even know that he’s about to hug you until it’s too late and his arms are already trapping you.
This makes the hug from behind a show of trust between you. He needs to be confident that you’ll like it when he surprises you with the hug.
Unfortunately, this also means that a hug from behind can be used to surprise you into a hug, whether you like it or not. It’s an excellent excuse for a guy to ignore your body language or other cues and get physical without your permission.
If a guy tries to hug you from behind and you’re not into it, you should tell him to let you go immediately and make it very clear you don’t like him in that way.
2. It says, ‘I’ve got your back’
He’s literally standing behind you, supporting your back. But he’s also figuratively showing that he wants to protect you and support you.
His arms wrapped around your waist or chest is also a protective and supportive gesture that says that he’s there for you.
A popular theory in relationship psychology perfectly explains why guys love this protective hug from behind.
It’s called the hero instinct. It says that men have a biological urge to protect women and provide for them. In simple terms, men want to feel like everyday heroes to the women they love.
This urge comes from the days when men had to fight wild animals and hostile tribes for survival. Obviously, women don’t need (or want) men to protect them these days, but the hero instinct is still alive and kicking.
The theory also says that men are much more likely to fall in love and commit to women who know how to trigger the hero instinct in their men.
This is because when a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he feels like a powerful man. He feels like he has purpose and meaning in his relationship, which is deeply satisfying.
Watch this fascinating free video if you’d like to learn more about the hero instinct.
3. It lets him see through your eyes
When a guy hugs you from behind, he gets to hug you and feel close to you while being able to see through your eyes.
He’s literally right next to the spot where you’re looking so he can look at what you’re seeing without having his head in front of yours blocking your view.
It gives him an opportunity for intimacy with your body and mind that doesn’t require eye contact or even talking.
This is also great if you’re upset and don’t feel like talking about it. The hug from behind makes you feel safe and comforted without the pressure of facing him directly and looking into his eyes.
4. It means he can keep hugging you for a long time
Hugging you from behind also allows him to hug you for a long time. It’s a comfortable and supportive position, and it doesn’t restrict your view or the movement of your arms.
You can easily carry on a conversation at a party, enjoy a drink or do the washing up all while your man is hugging you at the same time!
5. It has the same intimacy as spooning
The hug from behind is basically a vertical spoon cuddle and gives the same powerful feeling of closeness and intimacy.
Because you’re both facing the same direction, you can mold your body to the guy hugging you and enjoy complete contact along the entire length of your body.
When you’re spooning in bed, it doesn’t matter as much who plays the role of the ‘big spoon’ because you can adjust your relative body positions for maximum comfort.
However, when a guy hugs you from behind, he’s generally going to be taller than you. This makes the cuddle much more comfortable when you’re both standing up because it allows him to see over your shoulder or head.
6. He can surprise you with a hug from behind
A hug from behind is an excellent way for your man to show you intimacy in a spontaneous and exciting way. Feeling his arms suddenly wrapping around you and pulling you gently back into a hug is so sexy when you’re not expecting it!
It also allows him to feel your touch without interrupting what you’re doing. You could be having a conversation with someone and enjoy a spontaneous hug from behind without missing a beat!
7. It’s perfect for shy guys
If a shy guy likes you, the hug from behind is perfect because it allows him to show affection spontaneously without feeling nervous or embarrassed.
He can slide up behind you and enjoy the feel of your body with no pressure or expectations. Because you’re both facing the same way, he doesn’t have to say anything, and he doesn’t even have to maintain eye contact with you.
He can even bury his face in your hair or cheek and hide from the world if it makes him feel more comfortable!
8. He can test if you like him
A guy might also hug you from behind if he really likes you, but he’s not sure whether you return his feelings. It’s a way for him to test whether you like him without the added pressure of facing you and looking into your eyes.
If you seem uncomfortable, he can immediately back off and let go. He can apologize and step away and almost pretend like the hug never happened.
What to do when a guy hugs you from behind
Assuming you want to be hugged, what should you do when a guy hugs you from behind?
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to responding to a hug. The most important thing is to fully relax, exhale the tension from your body and enjoy the sensation of a wonderful hug!
If you want to increase the intimacy of the hug even further, try these:
- Gently push back into him, so you have firm body contact all the way along your back.
- If he’s much taller than you, lean your head against his chest or the side of his face or nuzzle into his neck.
- If his arms are around your waist, place your hands on top of his to bring him even closer to you. You can also reach up and stroke the side of his face with your hand.
Why do we hug someone?
Hugging (and touching in general) is a very natural way to show affection. Hugging says, ‘I’m here for you, and I care about you.’ Hugs can be platonic (between friends) or romantic (between lovers).
Hugs are also used in many situations where we don’t want to use words to express how we feel. There are many different types of hugs that are perfect for expressing how we feel in different situations.
Hugs can be used to:
- Express physical intimacy with someone in a sexual or platonic way (e.g., between romantic partners or friends).
- Comfort someone when they’re sad, nervous, or ill.
- Greet someone when you haven’t seen them for a while or after an argument to reconcile your differences.
- Say thank you and express gratitude and appreciation for something they’ve done for us (or even just bought us).
What are the health benefits of hugging?
Touch is thought to be the first sense we develop in utero (as early as 8 weeks into pregnancy). It’s critical to normal physical, emotional, social, and cognitive development.
This means it’s really not surprising that hugging has many proven mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health benefits.
Some of them include:
- Lowering your heart rate, blood pressure and reducing stress.
- Increasing your oxytocin levels (the love hormone) makes you feel happy, less stressed, and more connected to others.
- Reducing the chance you’ll catch a cold, helping with digestion and sleep quality, and even boosting fertility!
- Helping fight against depression & anxiety disorders by increasing serotonin production.
- Relieving persistent aches and pains by releasing endorphins.
How to tell if a hug is romantic
If you’re trying to figure out if a hug is romantic or platonic, try and notice the following:
Is he looking into your eyes and smiling? You can tell a lot about how he feels by studying his facial expression and body language.
Is the hug going on for a long time? Does it seem like he’s reluctant to let you go and wants the hug to go on for hours?
Is he squeezing you tight, so he’s touching as much of your body as possible? Is he holding you really close to his face and nuzzling into the hug so that it’s very intimate?
Does he keep glancing down at your lips while hugging, like he wants to kiss you or is thinking about kissing you?
Are his hands wandering down your back to your butt or up towards your head as if they’re trying to hold onto as much of you as possible?!
The secret weapon to make him obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
The stakes are much lower today, but the competitive urge remains deeply rooted in male biology. Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers.
Imagine if you could harness all this competitive energy and make a man obsessed with winning your love.
You can. And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the “hero instinct,” and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love.
Triggering a man’s hero instinct taps into his competitive spirit and makes him see your relationship as an opportunity to prove himself as a man. Making you happy gives him purpose and a “game” to win.
Instead of you chasing him, he will jump through hoops to impress you and win your approval. In a matter of days, he’ll become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible.
And the best part is that you can do all this without playing hard to get or acting like a damsel in distress.
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but it’s the real deal. James’ techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
