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Learning how to turn a guy on will do wonders for your sex life. Once you’ve mastered the art of seduction, your man will be putty in your hands whenever you want him.
Maybe you’ve fallen into a boring routine, and you’re looking for ways to recapture the fire and passion your relationship had in the early days. Or perhaps you’ve recently met a new guy, and you want to learn how to blow his mind and have him begging for more.
There are lots of different ways to turn a guy on, and many of these techniques don’t even involve touching him. You can use words, body language, and mystery to make a man go crazy for you.
How to set the mood for romance
Before you even start thinking about how to turn your man on, you need to create an environment conducive to romance. Here are some tips for setting the mood.
1. Create a sexy atmosphere
Setting the mood and creating a sexy atmosphere will help get your man in the right frame of mind for passion. Turn off the TV, put away your phone, and anything else that might be a distraction. Try dimming the lights a little, lighting some candles, and playing sultry or romantic music. Another great idea is to play some ambient music, like the sound of rainfall or a thunderstorm, to create a primal and elemental mood.
2. Have a glass of red wine
Red wine is often considered an aphrodisiac because it’s rich, sophisticated, and has lots of complex and interesting smells. A glass of wine or two can also help lower your inhibitions and help get you both in the mood much more quickly.
3. Look the part
Your man will get much more turned on if you look sexy and ready for action. Unless you’re roleplaying, there’s no need to go overboard and dress in a slutty way. Just wear something that flatters your best features and gives him a preview of what’s to come. For example, if you’ve got great legs, wear a short skirt or tight pants and if you’ve got nice cleavage, opt for a low-cut top.
Not only will dressing the part get your man excited, but it will also boost your own confidence and help you feel sexier.
4. Flirt with him
Flirting is a great way to build sexual tension before a night of hot sex. By the time you let him have you, he’ll barely be able to control himself.
Start touching him more throughout the day. Even light, lingering touches on the arm or back will have the desired effect. When you’re at dinner, rest your hand on his leg under the table and apply a little pressure to remind him what’s coming later.
Send him a sexy text or photo and tell him how badly you want him when he’s not around. The idea of you desperately needing him when he can’t get to you will drive him crazy.
5. Tease him
If your man is feeling a little uptight and struggling to get in the mood, teasing him in a lighthearted way might help defuse the tension and get things going. The idea is to be playful, make him laugh, and remind him that you’re supposed to be having fun together. Just make sure you don’t accidentally cross the line and make him feel insecure because this will shut him down faster than anything.
6. Make the first move
It’s a huge turn-on for a guy when a woman makes the first move. It makes him feel wanted and desired, and it shows that you’re confident and not afraid to take the lead. Instead of waiting for him to kiss you or touch you, take charge and show him that you want him as much as he wants you.
How to turn a guy on without touching him
Once you’ve set the mood, it’s time to turn up the heat a notch. There are all kinds of ways you can turn on your man without even laying a finger on him. Check out the list below for some ideas.
7. Use your voice to turn him on
If you completely change your voice out of the blue, it will come across as weird and fake. But you can do a few things to subtly change the way you speak to make your voice more seductive.
Try injecting a little more breathiness into your voice to make yourself sound more sensual and feminine. You can do this by slightly parting your lips as you speak and exhaling more than usual.
Lower the pitch of your voice very slightly to make yourself sound sexier and more commanding. You need to be careful with this because research says men prefer women with higher-pitched voices. However, the exception seems to be when a woman is signaling attraction. Alternatively, inject some playfulness or silliness into your voice if you want to come across as fun and carefree.
Speaking a little slower and enunciating your words more clearly is also sexy because it makes you appear confident and in control.
8. Bite and lick your lips
Studies have shown that men rate a woman’s lips as one of their most attractive features, making your lips a powerful weapon to turn a guy on.
When you’re talking to a guy, bite or lick your lips from time to time. The movement of your lips will attract his attention, and looking at your lips will make him want to kiss you. Don’t do it too often and keep it subtle, or else you’ll look like you have something stuck in your teeth.
Applying some gloss or lipstick in front of a guy is another great way to show him your best pout and draw attention to your lips.
9. Use your eyes
You can use your eyes to let a guy know that you’re interested in him and turn him on without saying a word.
Sharing prolonged eye contact with a guy is a powerful and intimate way to connect with him. The eyes are the window to the soul, so if you want to let a guy know that you’re interested in him, hold his gaze for a few seconds longer than usual. The sweet spot is around 2 to 3 seconds, and anything longer than that will start to feel awkward.
Flirting with a guy using your eyes can be as simple as giving him a quick glance and then looking away. Repeating this will let him know that you’re interested in him without coming across as too forward. The direction you look away after glancing at him is also important. Looking down signals submissiveness, looking to the side signals disinterest, and looking back up at him signals confidence.
10. Make him laugh
Laughing can be a turn-on because it releases feel-good chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine and endorphins. It also helps relax you both and makes it more likely that things will progress further.
11. Send him a naughty text or picture
If you really want to get his attention, send him a naughty text message to get him thinking about you. You can be as explicit as you like, but the best move is to be more subtle and let his imagination do all the work. If you’re having trouble striking the right balance of sexy and discreet, you can use all kinds of emoji combinations that will make sure he can’t concentrate for the rest of the day.
And, of course, you can always send him a sexy selfie. I think the best sexy pics also leave a lot to the imagination rather than being too explicit. It’s good to be trusting, but never send anyone a picture of yourself that you feel would ruin your life if other people ended up seeing it.
12. Talk dirty to him
There’s pretty much nothing you can do that will turn a guy on more than talking dirty to him. Most people find dirty talk super embarrassing because they’re worried they’ll say something lame and make their partner burst out laughing. However, you can easily learn how to talk dirty like a pro and use your skills to set the mood and build anticipation.
The other advantage of learning how to talk dirty is that it gives you and your partner more confidence talking about what turns you on. Once you break down the stigma of talking about your sexual desires, you’re free to explore all your wildest fantasies without feeling embarrassed or judged.
13. Tell him your fantasies
One easy way to incorporate dirty talk into your sex life is to describe your sexiest fantasies to him. You don’t need to think too hard about what to say – just be honest and use as much explicit detail as possible. This will turn him on more than you could ever believe, and it’s also an opportunity to tell him exactly what you like and make sure your sexual needs are being met.
14. Describe what you’re about to do to him
Another great way to turn him on even harder is to describe what you’re about to do to him. This is another easy form of dirty talk that doesn’t take much practice because all you have to do is narrate what’s about to happen in a calm and sexy voice. If you’re too embarrassed to try that, even just describing what you’re doing to him as you do it will make him go crazy with desire.
15. Whisper in his ear
Whispering in a guy’s ear is one of the most effective ways to turn him on without actually touching him. The tickle of your warm breath against his ear will send shivers down his spine, and the sound of your soft voice will be music to his ears.
If you’re out in public or in a group situation, whispering something in his ear will create an intimate and private moment between you. It will make him feel special and wanted and let him know that you’re attracted to him.
Try whispering something flirty or naughty in his ear to really turn up the heat. This will definitely get his blood flowing and his mind racing out of control.
16. Make some noise
A lot of guys wish their partner would make more noise during sex. Whether it’s moaning, crying out, or just some gentle breathing sounds, the simple act of hearing your partner enjoying themselves can be a huge turn-on.
17. Watch porn together
Watching porn with your partner can be a great way to enhance your sex life, and it can give you inspiration for all kinds of new positions and fantasies.
Many women feel threatened if their men enjoy watching porn, but there’s no need to be concerned in most cases. They just get turned on looking at the sex, and it doesn’t mean they want to replace you with a porn star. Watching porn only becomes a problem when it replaces the physical intimacy you share with your partner.
If you’re worried about the exploitative nature of porn, many ethical porn sites ensure all the performers are treated with respect and everything they do is consensual and above board.
The secret weapon to make him obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
The stakes are much lower today, but the competitive urge remains deeply rooted in male biology. Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers.
Imagine if you could harness all this competitive energy and make a man obsessed with winning your love.
You can. And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the “hero instinct,” and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love.
Triggering a man’s hero instinct taps into his competitive spirit and makes him see your relationship as an opportunity to prove himself as a man. Making you happy gives him purpose and a “game” to win.
Instead of you chasing him, he will jump through hoops to impress you and win your approval. In a matter of days, he’ll become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible.
And the best part is that you can do all this without playing hard to get or acting like a damsel in distress.
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but it’s the real deal. James’ techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
How to turn a guy on with touch
Now that you’ve learned some techniques to turn a guy on without touch, it’s time to get physical and really drive him wild.
18. Make out with him
Kissing is an art that deserves an entire article on its own, and it’s one of the most important ways to turn a guy on. When you kiss your man, do it with intention, and don’t be afraid to show how much you want him. Let your hands wander and explore his body while you’re making out, and don’t be afraid to guide his hands around your body to increase his desire.
And remember, you don’t have to restrict kissing to his mouth. He’ll enjoy you kissing him on plenty of other body parts. As you kiss different parts of his body, you’ll see how turned on he gets and figure out where he’s most sensitive.
19. Run your fingers through his hair
Gently running your fingers through a guy’s hair is an easy way to both physically and psychologically turn him on. The physical sensation of your fingers running through his hair will feel amazing, and the act itself is incredibly intimate.
20. Gently bite him
Lots of guys enjoy getting bitten, so try it out on your guy and see if it turns him on. Start by biting him very gently in different places and see how he responds. Some common areas guys like to be bitten are the neck, earlobes, and chest. If he seems really into it, bite him a little harder and see what happens. You might find he gets even more turned on.
21. Strip for him
Doing a striptease for your guy to get him turned on is a classic movie. A lot of women find the idea embarrassing, but it doesn’t need to be at all. And you don’t need to know how to dance.
Just sit him in a chair, put some music on and move your body slowly and seductively as you undress. Strip club rules apply, which means you can touch him, but he can’t touch you. If it helps, you can tie his hands behind his back to remove temptation. You can be sure he’ll be begging for it by the time you’re naked.
22. Touch yourself
Watching you touch yourself will drive your man crazy with desire, especially if you force him to watch and don’t let him touch you. Playing with yourself is also a great way to show him how you like to be touched without explaining it to him. You can be sure he’ll be taking plenty of mental notes while watching the best show of his life.
Once you’ve brought him to the edge of sanity by making him watch you, it’s time to let him show you what he’s learned. Encourage him to explore your body and let him know when he’s making you feel good.
23. Give him an erotic massage
Giving your guy an erotic massage is all about creating the right mood. Dim the lights, set some candles, and wear something sexy that you know he’ll love.
Use plenty of oil and take your time, paying careful attention to his erogenous zones to build sexual tension. As you move around him, tease him by gently grazing him with your stomach and breasts just enough so he’s left wanting more and can barely stand it.
24. Use hot and cold
The use of heat and cold can be a great way to turn on your man. Try running your hands over his with a cube of ice in your hand, and then follow it up with a hot towel. The fast contrast between hot and cold will feel amazing and get him aroused at lightning speed.
25. Take a shower with him
Taking a steamy shower (or bath) with your man is great to get him all worked up. The hot water will relax you both, and if you start getting busy, the close quarters will force you to experiment with some fun new positions. Plus, there’s something about being naked together in water and steam that makes everything feel more erotic.
26. Try new positions
You might have a favorite sex position you both enjoy and gets the job done, but don’t be afraid to vary things up and try new positions. One idea is to challenge yourself to try at least one new sex position every week. Some of them might require the use of muscles you didn’t even know you had, but it will be a fun workout.
27. Wrestle or play fight
Play fighting is a fun way to tickle, tease, touch, and make each other laugh. It will also get his heart racing and blood flowing as he puts you in a submissive position and thinks about everything he wants to do to you. The key to fighting is not to take things too far and respect each other’s boundaries. As soon as someone isn’t having fun, it’s time to stop.
28. Experiment with toys
Introducing some toys or other props into the bedroom is an exciting way to add variety to your sex life. There are so many options to explore, and discussing which ones you like and how you’re going to use them will turn him on even more. There are even wifi-enabled sex toys that will allow you to control your partner’s toy via your phone remotely.
29. Have sex in new places
Sex can be even hotter if you take it out of the bedroom, and there are many fun possibilities to explore in your own home. Once you’ve done it on the washing machine, he’ll never look at dirty laundry the same way again. Even a night in a fancy hotel to change the scenery and set the mood can be a massive turn-on.
And if you really want to get wild, head outdoors and find a secluded spot to make love in the beauty of nature. You might even find that the risk of getting caught makes him even more turned on.
30. Be spontaneous
Most of the ideas in this list are examples of being spontaneous, but it’s still worth mentioning. Being spontaneous is incredibly sexy because it shows that you’re not afraid to take risks and always up for something new and exciting.
How to turn a guy on without being obvious
Sometimes you want to turn a guy on without being too obvious about it. Maybe you’re not ready to make a move yet, or you don’t want to come on too strong.
31. Find excuses to touch him
Touch is one of the most important elements of flirting, and there are many ways you can subtly touch a guy and turn him on without being obvious.
When he says something funny, reach out and lightly touch his arm or hand when you laugh. He’ll soon get conditioned to associate your touch with fun and pleasure.
Brush your leg against his under the table and let your touch linger just long enough for him to know you meant it.
When you walk up behind him, run your finger around his shoulders and lightly down his arm. It appears like an innocent touch, but it will give him goosebumps of pleasure. A similar move is to place your hand in the small of his back and apply gentle pressure as you move round to face him.
32. Be mysterious
Guys are incredibly turned on by mysterious women they can’t quite figure out. If you want to get a guy turned on, be elusive and let him work for your attention. Hold some aspects of your life back, so he always has something to discover, and don’t be available to him all the time.
33. Learn his love language
Love languages are the ways that people like to express and receive love. There are five different love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. For example, if your guy’s love language is physical touch, he feels most loved when you touch him or show him physical affection.
When you’re trying to get a guy in the mood, showing him affection in the love language he understands will work much better to turn him on. So learn his love language and speak it fluently!
34. Make him feel useful and needed
Guys have a powerful urge to feel useful and needed because it’s written into their DNA. It comes from a time when men had to be the providers and protectors of their families. While that’s not the case anymore, guys still like feeling needed.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this urge the hero instinct, and it’s a powerful turn-on for men. When a guy feels useful and needed, he’ll be more attracted to you and more committed to your relationship.
While James was studying the hero instinct, he developed a way for any woman to trigger the hero instinct. All you need to do is use a particular set of words and phrases when you talk to a guy. All his techniques are based on proven psychology, and they work amazingly well to turn any guy on.
Watch the free hero instinct video here if you’d like to learn more.
35. Show some skin (but not too much)
It sounds pretty obvious, but one of the quickest ways to turn on a man is to show a little skin. The trick is to be subtle enough that you still leave something to the imagination and make him aware of what he’s missing.
Final thoughts
Whether you’re trying to put the spark back into your relationship or just want to master the art of seduction, I hope this article has inspired you to experiment with new ways to turn guys on. As you can see, you don’t even need to touch a guy to get him worked up and crazy with desire for you.
