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Telling a guy you like him through text is an excellent option if you feel too shy to say the words in person. It gives you breathing room to write the perfect message before hitting send so you won’t stumble over your words and die of embarrassment.
The key is to get a conversation going, flirt with him, and build up to the big moment. Here are 11 tips to help you do the job right.
1. Pick the right time
If you try to start a conversation when he’s in the middle of something else, chances are it won’t go well. Choose a time when you know he’s not at work or school and can give you his undivided attention. If you’re worried about him being busy or distracted, just ask if he’s free to talk!
Just before bed is the perfect time to start a conversation over text. It’s an intimate and personal time of the day, and he’ll be relaxing and winding down from the day. And if he’s actually in bed, that’s even better – you’ll get extra points for being the last thing on his mind before he goes to sleep!
Related post: 77 cute & flirty goodnight texts for your boyfriend
2. Break the ice with a question
When you’re texting first, it can be tricky to know what to say. Breaking the ice with a question is a great way to jump-start the conversation without feeling awkward. Open-ended questions that don’t have a yes or no answer will encourage him to open up and start chatting back and forth.
Here are some fun example questions you can ask your crush to get the conversation started:
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- What cute nickname would you give me?
- What’s the best thing that happened to you today?
- How would you describe me to your friends?
- What’s the most important quality you look for in a girl?
- What’s something about yourself that you’ve never told anyone?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
Nobody likes a dry texter, so make sure you keep the conversation interesting by using humor and avoiding boring one-word answers. The more creative you are with your responses, the more likely he’ll be to keep talking, and the conversation will flow.
3. Get a little flirty
Once you have a conversation going, don’t be afraid to flirt and show off your playful side. Teasing him and making jokes will help lighten the mood and let him know you’re interested. Guys also love getting compliments, so pick something unique you like about him and let him know.
There are lots of ways to flirt that will get his imagination running wild. For example, delay responding to his last text for a few minutes and then reply with, “Sorry, I was just in the shower.” It seems innocent enough on the surface, but he’ll instantly start picturing you naked in the shower and be bursting to keep the conversation going!
Or what about sending him a text saying, “I had a crazy dream about you last night. I’m almost too embarrassed to tell you what we did!” That will definitely pique his curiosity and make him want to know more.
Sending him a cute selfie of your outfit is another way to get his heart racing. Ask him, “What do you think of this dress? Do you think it’s too short?” Just remember never to send a picture that you wouldn’t be comfortable with him forwarding to a friend.
4. Know when to back-off
If he’s not responding to your messages or taking a long time to answer, take the hint and give him some space. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested; he might be busy or not in the mood to talk. The problem with texting is that you can’t read his facial expressions and body language to read his actual reaction.
5. Use emojis
Emojis are the perfect way to add a bit of flirty fun and humor into the conversation. They instantly lighten the mood and make it easier for you to express your feelings without being too forward or direct. For example, writing a text that says you want to kiss him might make you nervous, but a kiss emoji lowers the stakes and makes it much more casual and fun.
6. Be honest and direct with your feelings
When you finally work up the courage to tell him you like him, don’t beat around the bush. Be honest and direct with your feelings and he’ll appreciate your confidence and courage.
You might be tempted to use emojis, but it’s much better to write the words to show him that you’re serious and mean what you say. Also, avoid trying to hide behind jokes or humor because he won’t be able to tell if you’re being serious or not.
Exactly what you say to him is very personal, but here are some examples if you need a little inspiration:
- “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I really like you.”
- “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and I wanted to tell you how I feel.”
- “What would you say if I told you I liked you and wanted to be more than friends?”
- “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’ve been kinda crushing on you for a while now.”
- “I was too embarrassed to tell you in person, but I want you to know that I really like you.”
7. Don’t pressure him to respond
Once you’ve put yourself out there, don’t pressure him to respond immediately. He might need a bit of time to think it over, so give him the space he needs, and don’t follow up with texts asking if he’s had a chance to think about it. Double texting makes you appear desperate and will only make him pull away.
8. Plan for rejection
No matter how much you think you know him, there’s no guarantee he will feel the same way about you. Before sending your text, think about how you want to handle rejection and be mentally prepared for any response. You can even draft a rejection message in advance, like “No worries, I understand, and I hope we can still be friends.”
9. Don’t be clingy or desperate
If he doesn’t feel the same way, the worst thing you can do is beg or plead with him to change his mind. It will make you look desperate and clingy and ruin all chances of something happening between you in the future. Instead, accept his answer with grace by sending him your nicely worded rejection text.
10. Pay attention to spelling and grammar
It sounds like a small thing, but pay attention to your spelling and grammar when texting him. Using common text abbreviations is fine, but lots of incorrect spelling and grammar will make you look less intelligent and sloppy. Sending a romantic text only to realize you made a bunch of typos isn’t a good way to make a first impression.
11. Remember to have fun!
At the end of the day, texting your crush should be enjoyable. Don’t take it too seriously or over analyze every word – just relax, be yourself, and have some fun!
What do I do if he likes me back?
Okay, so you’ve sent the “I like you” text, and he feels the same way. What happens next? If you were in the same room, you could share a romantic kiss, but that’s not an option over text.
The next thing to do is ask him out on a first date. Send something simple like, “I’m so happy you feel the same way! What are you doing this weekend? I’d love to hang out.”
Once you’ve arranged to meet up in person, the hard work is over! It might feel weird to keep texting after such an intense conversation, so don’t hesitate to sign off and wait until your date to continue chatting.
Final thoughts
Text is an excellent way to tell a guy you like him if you don’t want the added pressure of a face-to-face conversation. It gives you complete control over what you want to say and more time to think before you reply.
But a text relationship can only take you so far. It’s much more natural (and fun) to chat, flirt, and get to know someone in person. So don’t be afraid to take the plunge and ask him out on a date as soon as you know he likes you over text.
