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Remember how your husband made you feel when you first got married? You were madly in love with him and looking forward to a lifetime of happy marriage.
But if you’re like many other women out there, you may have fallen out of love with your husband. It probably happened slowly, over time, and it took you years to even realize it.
The good news is that you can do many things to fall in love with your husband again and rediscover the passion and intimacy that made you want to marry him in the first place.
1. Understand why you don’t love him anymore
To fix your troubled marriage, you first need to understand why you don’t love your husband anymore. Perhaps you’ve been fighting a lot, and your communication has broken down. Or maybe your husband’s attention is always focused on work, and it feels like you’re living with a complete stranger. Often it’s a number of small things that add up over time and lead to feelings of resentment.
Once you know what’s causing the break in your relationship, you can start taking steps to fix it. If communication is the problem, then work on improving this aspect of your marriage. If he’s neglecting you emotionally or physically, then talk to him about how your needs aren’t being met.
2. Manage your expectations
It’s a good idea to manage your own expectations when you’re starting the journey to fall in love with your husband again. Just remember that it’s going to be a long way back to where you started, and you can’t expect too much too soon. Just focus on the good things in your marriage and keep the faith that eventually, you’ll reignite the passion you once felt for him.
It sounds harsh, but there is an element of ‘fake it ’till you make it’ to falling in love with your husband again. If you act like you’re still madly in love with him, it will help your emotions to catch up with your actions.
3. Start by learning to like him again
Before you get to the stage of loving him again, you might need to start by simply liking him as a friend and companion. A strong relationship is built on friendship and companionship, as well as passion. Once you feel like he’s your best friend again, your loving feelings will have a much easier time resurfacing.
The best way to like your husband again is to spend lots of quality time with him. You don’t have to focus on your relationship problems; one-on-one time goes a long way towards strengthening your relationship and making you feel closer as friends.
Ask yourself what you still like about him and concentrate on these qualities when you’re with him. Don’t let your mind wander back to all the things that make you not love him – focus only on his good points.
4. Take a trip down memory lane
One of the best ways to fall in love with your husband again is to think about the early days of your relationship when you were first dating. Remembering the good times helps remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Remember the days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? All it took was a look, and you’d be in each other’s arms. Remember your wedding day? All your close friends were gathered together to celebrate your love.
Think about all the things you loved about him when you first met him and compare those memories to what he’s like now. Is he that different? It might be mostly your perception of him that’s changed over time.
5. Let go of your negative feelings
For your marriage to succeed, you have to let go of the blame and resentment that have been poisoning your love for him.
It’s easy to blame him for all your relationship problems, but you have to take responsibility for your part in it. You might think it’s entirely his fault, but continuing to blame him won’t allow you to move on and learn to love him again.
The key is to focus on empathy and understanding. You can’t change your husband, and you can’t force him to be the perfect person you want him to be. What you can do is start thinking about what his life is like and how things affect him. Try to see situations from his perspective rather than always looking at them from your own viewpoint.
6. Plan date nights together
Spending quality time with your spouse is important to maintain a close and loving connection. Otherwise, you’re just two people living in the same house who share a bank account and some bills.
Planning regular date nights together is a great way to start spending more quality time together. And you don’t need to spend lots of money on extravagant romantic gestures. All you need is to find time for yourselves without the distractions of everyday life.
Your first date can be as simple as going out for ice cream or spending the evening at your favorite restaurant. Some couples even take turns planning surprise dates so their partner can have fun imagining all the wonderful things in store for the evening.
7. Rebuild your emotional connection
Any relationship expert will tell you that restoring your emotional connection is the key to falling in love with your husband again.
Emotional intimacy is an important human need we all crave, and you’re much more likely to be unhappy and dissatisfied if it’s missing from your marriage.
Emotional intimacy happens on many different levels. It’s about giving each other a big hug after a long day at work, listening to each other’s problems with empathy and compassion, and sharing all your secrets and private thoughts with each other.
It will take a long time to restore your emotional intimacy, but you can start right now by walking up to him and kissing him like you mean it. Follow that up by setting aside some time to talk with him and open up. Tell him about your day and listen attentively when he talks about his.
8. Make time for personal talks
When was the last time you had a really deep and meaningful talk with your husband? We’re all so busy these days it’s easy to forget how important spending time alone talking to each other is for maintaining an emotional connection.
This doesn’t have to be a formal event like a session with the family therapist, and you can do it while taking a walk together or cooking dinner. The important thing is that you spend time laughing, crying, sharing secrets, and talking about what’s important in your lives.
It’s these moments that signal true love and make a long-term relationship successful.
9. Really listen to him
One of the most simple changes you can make in your marriage is to start really listening to your husband. It sounds obvious, but you might recognize how easy it is to get so caught up in your own problems you barely even hear what he’s saying.
We all want to be heard when we talk, and you should make sure your husband knows he has your undivided attention. This means listening to everything he’s saying without interrupting him or thinking about something else. Show that you’re engaged by asking questions or mirroring back to him what he said.
Listening to your husband will bring you closer together because it will help you understand him and connect with him on an emotional level. It’s honestly one of the best things you can do to fall in love with your husband again.
10. Enjoy new activities together
Try to think of your relationship as a new adventure rather than the same old thing. Lots of couples get stuck in a rut, and they let their relationship become stale. You can avoid this by starting new activities together that you’ve never done before.
Pick something you used to love doing together when you first started dating, or try something completely new that sparks your interest. This could involve taking dance classes, learning a foreign language, or taking a cooking class together.
You must identify activities you both enjoy to have fun spending time together, but the main thing is to be open to new experiences. You’ll learn so much about each other if you try new things together, and it will bring you much closer.
11. Take a vacation together
When was the last time you both took a trip somewhere, just the two of you? It’s easy to put vacations off when life gets busy with work and children, but it’s important to make time for romantic getaways.
If you can’t afford a vacation in an exotic location, then plan a weekend away at a bed and breakfast or even pack up the car and go on a camping trip.
Romantic getaways are a great way to fall back in love with each other because you will both be able to relax and enjoy the company of one another without all your usual distractions.
Don’t give up on your marriage until you’ve tried this
If you’re looking for a practical guide to saving your marriage without expensive counseling, I recommend you check out “Mend the Marriage” by Brad Browning.
There are many marriage-saving guides out there, but Mend the Marriage is by far the most detailed guide I’ve ever seen. No matter what issues you’re facing in your marriage, Brad will have helpful advice for your situation and answer all your “what if” scenarios.”
Mend the Marriage contains hundreds of real-world examples tested on married couples. For example, the section on how to handle arguments will show you effective techniques to instantly stop a fight in its tracks without any lingering resentment.
The best part is that Mend the Marriage will work even if your spouse isn’t interested. In fact, Brad believes it’s better if you take the first steps on your own. His powerful psychological techniques will rewire your spouse’s perception of you and subconsciously rebuild their attraction before they even know what’s happening.
Brad claims that almost all marriages can be saved. That’s a bold claim, but I believe him after reading Mend the Marriage. Brad is a certified relationship counselor and has spent over a decade helping men and women repair their broken relationships. His experience has helped him develop dozens of unique and groundbreaking techniques I’ve never seen anywhere else.
Check out Brad’s free video to learn more about Mend the Marriage. It might make the difference between “divorced and lonely” and “happily ever after.”
12. Thank him and appreciate him
The next time your husband looks stressed out after a hard day at work, take a moment to let him know how grateful you are for all he does. Thank him out loud and really mean it, so he realizes how much you value him.
Men have a strong ‘hero instinct’ urge that makes them crave feeling needed and essential in their relationships. He’ll love feeling appreciated, and the positive feedback will make him feel like all his hard work is worthwhile.
By focusing on all the hard work your husband puts in to support your family, you’ll also remind yourself of all the big and little things you love about him.
13. Do nice things for him
In addition to appreciating what he does, you should also try to do nice things for your husband without asking him first or expecting anything in return. It doesn’t have to be complicated – you can surprise him with breakfast in bed or give him a massage after he’s had a tough day.
These little actions of gratitude are an easy way to let him know how much you care, and he’ll appreciate the fact that you are thinking of him. And, of course, you’ll start feeling closer and more connected to him in return.
14. Focus on his good qualities
One of the best ways to fall back in love with your husband is to focus on his good qualities. It’s easy to be critical of your guy, especially if things aren’t going as well as you’d like.
However, constantly bringing up his flaws will make him feel unloved and insecure. This will cause him to withdraw emotionally and distance himself from you, which is the exact opposite of what you want.
Instead, look at all the things you love about him and remind yourself of them often. If he has any positive qualities that stand out (such as having a great sense of humor or being a great father), then praise him for them.
Related post: What are the qualities of a good man? 27 things to look for
15. Show him compassion and empathy
If you need to confront your husband about something, always approach the situation with empathy and compassion. This means taking a moment to think about where he’s coming from before jumping down his throat.
Most importantly, never criticize or judge his actions in front of others. It will make him feel humiliated and ashamed and do massive damage to your relationship. If you need to talk things through with him, then do it privately.
Coming from a place of empathy and compassion will help you see things from his perspective, and you might find that a lot of your resentment and anger towards him quickly evaporates.
16. Maintain separate interests
It’s important that you and your husband maintain the separate hobbies and interests you enjoyed before you met. This allows you to keep your own sense of identity and makes you less codependent.
When both partners become each other’s number one priority, they inevitably neglect their own needs and desires. This results in them slowly feeling more and more resentful towards each other.
By having your own interests outside your relationship, you will be able to rely on yourself for happiness, fulfillment, and fun. In turn, this will give you the energy and enthusiasm to love your husband even more.
17. Argue in a healthy way
Even the happiest couples have arguments from time to time, but real love means knowing how to argue the right way.
Healthy arguments are all about respectfully expressing your feelings without bringing up past mistakes or dredging up the past.
When you argue, you must never make your husband feel attacked or accuse him of being wrong. If he feels judged, he’ll naturally become defensive and shut down. Instead, use an “I” rather than a “you” statement to explain how his actions have hurt your feelings, rather than making it an accusatory statement against him.
Learning how to argue productively will have a massive positive impact on your relationship. You’ll feel more understood and loved, and he’ll be more willing to open up and listen to what you have to say.
18. Be curious and learn more about him
Romantic relationships are all slowly uncovering and learning new things about your partner. The little mysteries and quirks add to the excitement and passion in a relationship.
However, many couples in long-term relationships stop being curious about each other and don’t make an effort to dig deeper. This is a big mistake because it means that the relationship slowly becomes less interesting and exciting over time.
If you want to fall in love with your husband again, make an effort to be curious and ask him lots of interesting questions. Learn his favorite color, what he dreamed about as a child, where he hopes to be in five years’ time, and so on. The more you know about him, the more interesting your relationship will become.
Related post: 109 questions to ask a guy to get to know him deeper
19. Learn his love language
Are you familiar with the theory of love languages? It’s an idea developed by Gary Chapman, and it describes the five different ways that people express and receive love.
The five love languages are:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
Each person favors one or more of these love languages, and they won’t feel truly loved unless their partner shows them love in a way they understand and appreciate. However, many partners don’t share the same love language, which leads to them feeling unappreciated and undervalued in the relationship.
With a little work, you and your husband can learn each other’s love language and make each other feel more loved, understood, and valued on a daily basis. This will help to strengthen your bond so that your love and passion can flourish once again.
Related post: How to use words of affirmation to improve your relationship
20. Don’t give up on physical affection
Showing your partner physical affection on a regular basis should be an important part of your married life. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the first things to fade away in a troubled marriage.
Physical affection includes your sex life, but it also refers to all the other ways you show your partner that you care for them. This can mean kissing, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and giving backrubs.
By not giving up on physical affection, you’ll be able to keep things fun and interesting in the relationship. You’ll feel more loving towards each other, plus it’s a great way to build intimacy when you’re not having sex.
21. Prioritize your relationship
These days, everyone has busy schedules, whether it’s 9-5 work or the endless household chores involved in keeping a family running smoothly. But it’s important to prioritize your relationship if you want to fall in love with your husband again. This means making the time for each other to talk and connect on a deeper level.
When your relationship is a priority in your life, it means you’ll feel more supportive and loving towards each other. At the end of the day, your relationship is the most important thing in your life, and it deserves to be treated as such.
22. Laugh together
When was the last time that you and your husband had a good laugh together? Finding the time to laugh and be silly together is one of the easiest ways to fall in love with your husband again. Not only does it rejuvenate both of you, but it also helps to dissolve any tension lingering caused by the stresses of everyday life. All you need to do is find a funny movie or TV show and put your phones away for an hour or so.
23. Check-in with him
You don’t need to text your husband every hour to stay in touch, but it’s a good idea to check in with him occasionally to see how he’s feeling and what he’s up to.
A few nice words will show him that you’re thinking about him and that he’s loved and appreciated. You can also help to clarify any misunderstandings and prevent problems from escalating out of control by checking in with each other.
This is one of the easiest ways to keep the bond strong between you, and it will also prevent your relationship from feeling distant and empty.
24. Exercise together
Exercising together is a great way to keep your marriage’s passion and romance alive. It will give you plenty of time to connect and chat with each other so that you can learn more about what’s going on in each other’s lives. Plus, it’s a lot easier to feel attracted to someone when you’re both feeling healthy and energetic.
25. Focus on what you respect about him
There may have been a time when you thought your husband was perfect. But these days, it’s probably easy to find fault with him. An essential part of falling in love with him again is to remind yourself what you respect about him.
Respect is one of the essential qualities to have in a relationship, and if you feel fundamental respect for him as a person, there’s a great chance you can also fall in love with him again.
26. Plan for the future together
Planning for the future is a great way to stay connected and keep your relationship exciting. It shows that you’re both on the same team, working towards common goals and dreams.
The most important thing is to plan for the long term together. If either of you has individual plans or goals that conflict with what the other person wants, it’s time to have a chat and come up with some ground rules.
Thinking about the future doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the present. You can still plan for a new life together while enjoying every day in the here and now.
27. Focus on him and not your phone
We’ve all seen news reports showing how many people are addicted to their phones. It can be difficult not to let your phone take over your life, especially when you’re used to having it available at all times for instant access to your friends and family.
However, if you want to fall in love with your husband again, try putting down the phone once in a while and giving him your full attention.
28. Reminisce about the early days together
Reminiscing about when you were dating can help reignite old feelings of excitement and get your relationship back on track.
You don’t need to be sitting around brooding or reminiscing all day, but it’s a good idea to find ways to remind yourself what attracted you to each other in the first place.
29. Hang out with his friends and family
You can learn so much new about your husband simply by spending time with the people closest to him, and it’s a great way to reignite your passion for each other.
Spending time with his family or friends is like traveling back in time, because you get to see what he was like before you married each other. It’s also a good way to show him that you care about his life outside of work and family.
Final thoughts
I hope this article has helped you realize there are many things you can do to fall in love with your husband again. The key is to focus on all his great qualities and slowly rebuild your emotional and physical connection.
When you show your husband love, he’ll respond in kind, and over time there’s a great chance your feelings will start to grow and blossom into the deep love you once shared.
