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Your man is starting to lose interest in you because the initial attraction and excitement have worn off. You’re struggling to get him to stay focused on you. The passion and desire have fizzled out of your relationship, leaving you feeling frustrated and exhausted from trying to keep the fire going. You’re worried that if it carries on this way, he’ll end up cheating or just leave you.
If this sounds like your relationship experience, His Secret Obsession promises to change all that. James Bauer claims he can teach you exactly what you need to do to make any man obsessed with you and stay committed to you forever.
But does it actually work? In this honest His Secret Obsession ebook review, I’ll give you my verdict on whether or not it’s worth buying, including all the pros and cons and who shouldn’t bother with the program.
What is His Secret Obsession?
His Secret Obsession is a relationship guide written by best-selling author and psychologist James Bauer, who promises to teach you how to keep your man passionately in love with you and committed to you forever.
Sounds too good to be true, right?
I thought so as well, but after reading the book and reflecting on all the techniques, I can honestly say I’m convinced.
The key difference with His Secret Obsession is that James Bauer uses real psychology and practical techniques to help you understand what men truly desire and how to manipulate those desires.
The basic idea behind His Secret Obsession is to teach you how to trigger the hero instinct in your man. The hero instinct is the main concept of His Secret Obsession, so let’s take a closer look at what it means.
What is the Hero Instinct?
You might think that the hero instinct means your man wants to fly around in a cape saving damsels in distress, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.
The Hero Instinct is actually a fascinating psychological concept that says men are driven by a primal instinct to provide for their women, to protect them, and to feel needed by them.
Men care more than anything else about how their relationships make them feel about themselves.
They want to feel like a hero to the women they love and will be more attracted and committed to women who make them feel like a hero. They will also be much less likely to commit to women who don’t trigger the hero instinct in them.
All men share these same primal instincts – it’s not just ‘tough’ alpha male types who want to be heroes. I consider myself a more quiet, thoughtful personality type but I still clearly recognize the hero instinct in myself.
What do you get when you buy His Secret Obsession?
His Secret Obsession is sold as both an eBook and an audiobook. In addition to the 220-page book, you also get a workbook and some useful bonus materials.
The book is divided into 2 main parts:
- Part 1 consists of 11 detailed modules and is focused on explaining the hero instinct and the psychology around how it works.
- Part 2 is where you get to put the theory into practice. You’ll learn practical techniques, phrases and signals that will ignite the hero instinct in your man.
The bonus material includes text message templates that are an easy way to start triggering the hero instinct in your man.
What’s awesome is that all the techniques are clearly demonstrated with real-world examples that you can use depending on the stage of your relationship.
How do you trigger the hero instinct?
Here are a few examples of the phrases and signals His Secret Obsession teaches you to trigger the hero instinct in your man. Obviously, the book goes into much more detail and provides lots of examples but this should give you a sense of what you’ll be learning.
Glimpse phrases
These are questions and comments you’ll use to give your man a ‘glimpse’ of what a fantasy future looks like with you.
The genius psychology here is that your words force him to fill in the banks and visualize in his mind what this amazing future looks like. Soon he won’t be able to imagine a future without you.
The ‘IOU’ signal
The ‘I Owe You’ signal teaches you phrases that will make your man see you as his most trusted confidant and partner and make him want to tell you his deepest desires and needs.
X-ray questions
X-ray questions are designed to uncover what your man really wants from life. If you know his most inner desires, you can help him achieve them and become a part of his life he can’t live without.
The damsel in distress signal
The damsel in distress signal plays on the fact that men simply cannot resist coming to a woman’s aid and being the hero. You’ll learn how to trigger his hero instinct and crave your attention and approval whenever you want.
The private island signal
The private island signal shows you how to stop your man from being distracted by other women and see you as ‘The One’. This is a powerful, scientifically proven technique that will unlock a little-known quality of allure that all women possess to make your man desperate to commit.
I know it sounds far-fetched but it seriously works!
Isn’t the concept of primal instincts outdated?
Not a chance! Even though it’s popular these days to try and argue that there aren’t any differences between men and women, the simple fact is that men have the genetic urge to protect women and be desired by them.
It’s just biology designed to maximize the survival of our species. However, this doesn’t mean that women should value men any less!
The techniques you’ll learn in His Secret Obsession to trigger the hero instinct aren’t designed to be manipulative or disingenuous in any negative way. All you’re doing is accentuating the natural urges in your man that have always been present – the urge to provide for and protect the people he loves.
Who is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a trained psychologist who has worked as a successful relationship coach for more than a decade and has helped thousands of women find love.
James originally wrote His Secret Obsession in response to helping one of his clients, Rachel. You’ll meet her in the book.
Rachel was happy and in love with her boyfriend, Mike. She thought she’d finally found ‘The One’. 3 months later Mike started pulling away from her. He was becoming cold and distant and not answering his phone when she called. The relationship was dead in the water.
As a last resort, James gave Rachel a phrase that she could text Mike that would trigger his hero instinct and bring him back. (This is the famous ’12 word text’ you might have heard about).
This ‘secret signal’ was so successful that James expanded on his success and wrote His Secret Obsession to try and help other women in the same situation.
The point is His Secret Obsession is not a bunch of BS written by some ‘relationship guru’. James Bauer relies on proven psychology to help his readers achieve long-term happiness in their relationships.
Who will benefit from His Secret Obsession?
I think you’ll get real value from the book if you fall into any of the following categories:
- Your relationships never last for the long term and you can’t figure out why.
- Your partners slowly drift away from you over time and seem to lose interest in you.
- You never seem to be able to develop a powerful connection with your man and the passion and excitement seem to fade.
- You’re a man who’s interested in his own psychology and wants to understand how you tick. I personally got a great deal out of reading the book and I feel like it’s helped me better understand my relationships.
Who shouldn’t bother with this book?
Even though I think His Secret Obsession will help a lot of women in their relationships, it’s not for everyone.
Don’t bother with the book if you think it’s going to unlock the secret to manipulating any man and get him to do whatever you want.
Triggering the hero instinct is powerful, but seeing a long-term change in your man takes time and works best for women who are already in a relationship.
However, I think the book will also be useful for single women who want to learn how men think and get ready to apply the techniques in the future.
Because the book is based on proven psychology, it’s definitely not a quick fix that’s going to instantly solve all your relationship problems and make you an irresistible goddess.
Implementing the techniques will take time but if you’re willing to put in the effort you WILL see results.
Is His Secret Obsession worth it?
After studying the book, if you identify with any of the relationship issues discussed above then I 100% think you’ll find His Secret Obsession worth your time and money.
Understanding how to trigger the hero instinct in your man to make him obsessed with loving you, supporting you, and sharing his life with you is a seriously powerful tool.
And just as importantly, the techniques in the book are all designed to make your man happy and give him his best possible life by your side. What man wouldn’t want that?
Even as a man, learning about how my own brain works was fascinating and I can see the hero instinct in my own psychology so clearly.
Understanding the primal differences between men and women really does feel like unlocking a relationship superpower!
I also want to reiterate the fact that His Secret Obsession is not designed to manipulate men or degrade women in any way. The goal is to inspire both you and your partner to have a passionate, happy, and fulfilling life together.
The Pros and Cons
Pros
If you’re serious about improving your relationship, then I think this is the only book you need. All the techniques are practical and include examples. You’ll learn the exact phrases, signals, and subtle requests you can use to trigger the hero instinct in your man.
The book is written in a really approachable and engaging way. Even though all the techniques are based on the latest psychological research, it’s still easy to read and understand.
One of the key advantages of His Secret Obsession is that the psychological techniques take emotion out of the picture. You can use the techniques to objectively study your relationship and see real improvements over time.
You can get His Secret Obsession as an eBook or an audiobook which means it’s available instantly and can be read on a mobile device, laptop, or even printed out if that’s your thing.
If you get the book and find out it’s not for you, there’s a 60-day money-back guarantee so you really don’t have anything to lose by trying it!
Cons
If you’re someone who likes to have a physical book then unfortunately you’ll be disappointed. His Secret Obsession is only available as an eBook or an audiobook.
I didn’t listen to the audiobook version but other reviews have mentioned that the book is narrated well.
Because of how the content is structured, I feel like the eBook might be the best way to go because you can more easily read sections multiple times to really understand the concepts.
Like most things that are worthwhile, getting the most value out of the book will take time and work.
You’ll need to apply the techniques consistently on your man to see the most benefit. As I mentioned earlier, this is not a quick-fix solution because it actually works.
How much does His Secret Obsession cost?
His Secret Obsession costs $47. For that, you get the 220 page eBook, a workbook, and a bunch of bonus materials.
$47 isn’t exactly cheap, but if you decide to buy the book I think you’ll agree that it’s worth the money. It’s basically the only relationship guide you’ll ever need and James Bauer has clearly put an incredible amount of work into making sure his techniques are based on the latest psychological research.
Even better, there’s a 60-day money-back guarantee when you purchase so if you’re not sure whether the book will work for you there’s a totally risk-free way to test it out.
For most people, spending $47 on a fully refundable book is a very small price to pay for the promise of fixing a marriage or finding lasting true love. I guarantee it will cost you a lot more to pay for a therapist.
Final thoughts
The core of His Secret Obsession is about triggering the hero instinct in your man. The hero instinct is very real, and based on primal instincts and evolutionary biology.
After reading His Secret Obsession, it’s pretty obvious to me that women who learn to trigger the hero instinct in their men will have deeper, more fulfilling relationships that last a lifetime.
