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Your twin flame is your mirror soul. They reflect back on you all the best and worst aspects of your personality so that you can grow, learn and heal.
You can have multiple soulmates in your life but only one twin flame. And unfortunately, most people aren’t lucky enough to ever meet their twin flame in this lifetime.
If you meet someone and feel an intense attraction to them, it’s tempting to assume they’re your twin flame. But how do you know they’re the real deal? Here are 27 signs of a false twin flame and what to do if you’ve met one.
What is a false twin flame connection?
A false twin flame is exactly what it sounds like. You meet someone and feel a powerful connection to them, but you eventually realize they’re not your twin flame and don’t carry the other half of your soul.
The role of your twin flame is to help you evolve and grow into the best version of yourself. Twin flame relationships are often complicated and characterized by drama, intensity, and a roller-coaster ride of emotions.
False twin flames are often mistaken for the real thing because they feel just as intense and passionate. The difference is that a false twin flame relationship doesn’t include soul-level connection, unconditional love, and mutual growth.
False twin flame relationships can be positive or negative, but they’re always ultimately unfulfilling compared to a twin flame relationship. A false twin flame might love you, care for you, and be there for you, but there will come a time when you realize they don’t fully understand or accept you. For example, a false twin flame might attempt to change or control you rather than accept and love you for who you are. Or, they might be completely unwilling to grow and evolve with you, choosing instead to stay stuck in their comfort zone.
In some cases, false twin flames can be harmful and toxic, leaving you feeling drained, exhausted, and even abused. These relationships are usually characterized by drama, fighting, and chaos without resolution or personal growth. If you feel like you’re in a toxic or harmful relationship, it’s important to get out and seek professional help.
Some people believe that the role of a false twin flame is to prepare you for your real twin flame. By showing you all the ways a relationship can go wrong, a false twin flame is said to help you appreciate and cherish your actual twin flame even more when you finally meet them.
It’s important to remember that you don’t need anyone else to complete you or make you happy. You are whole and complete just as you are, and no relationship can change that. Whether you meet your twin flame or not, you can create a beautiful and fulfilling life.
Signs you’ve met a false twin flame
Now that we understand what a false twin flame is, let’s take a look at some of the signs that you’ve met one.
1. You’re always chasing them
Twin flame relationships are often characterized by a dynamic known as the runner and the chaser. The chaser in the relationship is more emotionally available and tries to bring you closer together, while the runner runs away from the relationship and pulls you apart.
In a real twin flame relationship, the role of runner and chaser swaps back and forth as you both work through your issues and come to a place of mutual understanding, respect, and love. But in a false twin flame relationship, the runner never changes their role.
If you find yourself constantly chasing after someone who isn’t interested in getting close to you, it might be a sign that you’re in a false twin flame relationship. No matter what you do, they always seem just out of reach.
2. The relationship feels out of balance
In a false twin flame relationship, it often feels like one partner is doing all the work while the other sits back and reaps the benefits. A genuine twin flame relationship is about learning, growing, and evolving together. You might have disagreements and challenging times, but ultimately you’re moving forward together.
Unfortunately, it can take a long time to determine whether the relationship is truly imbalanced or if you’re just going through a temporary phase. The runner-and-chaser dynamic of twin flame relationships means that there will be times when one person needs more space or help than the other. When the pattern is repeated over and over without any real progress being made, you can be sure you’re in a false twin flame relationship.
3. Their love doesn’t feel unconditional
Twin flame relationships are based on unconditional love, which means that your partner loves and accepts you for who you are, no matter what. They don’t try to change or mold you into someone you’re not.
In a false twin flame relationship, however, you might feel your partner’s love is conditional. For example, they might be loving and supportive when you’re doing well, but as soon as you hit a rough patch, they withdraw or disappear. Or, they might refuse to forgive you for your mistakes, even though you’ve apologized and tried to make things right.
To be clear – unconditional love doesn’t mean you can mistreat your partner and expect them to stick around. It’s about being there for each other through thick and thin and accepting each other’s flaws and imperfections.
4. Your relationship feels too easy
If your relationship feels relaxed and easy, you might assume it’s a sign you’ve found your twin flame. You may have found a soulmate, but you’re unlikely to be with your actual twin flame.
In reality, twin flame relationships are never easy because you’re constantly being pushed to grow and evolve. You might have periods of peace and harmony, but you’ll also have times when you’re forced to confront your deepest fears and insecurities.
Does this mean you should throw away a wonderful relationship because it’s not challenging enough? No – please don’t. You don’t need to find your twin flame to have a happy, fulfilling relationship. In fact, most people never meet their twin flame in their lifetime.
5. You don’t feel them when you’re apart
In a twin flame relationship, you still feel your partner’s presence even when you’re apart. It’s like a subtle magnetic force that keeps you connected, even across great distances.
This connection you share with your twin flame means you are never truly alone. You might miss each other badly, but you still feel their love and support even when they’re not physically present.
On the other hand, a false twin flame won’t trigger this deep soul connection, and you’ll feel more alone when they leave. When you aren’t physically with them, you might miss them more because you don’t have the inner knowledge that they’re always with you.
6. They don’t inspire you to grow as a person
A false twin flame might love and support you, but they aren’t as interested in helping you grow as a person. In fact, they might be content with things staying the same.
Your actual twin flame will challenge you and push you to be the best version of yourself. They might not always make you feel comfortable, but they will help you expand your horizons and reach your full potential.
The main difference is that a false twin flame relationship feels safe, while a twin flame relationship feels like it has the potential to change your life for the better.
7. You don’t feel safe and supported
A twin flame relationship is built on trust, respect, and unconditional love. You should feel safe and supported in your relationship, no matter what.
Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case in a false twin flame relationship. Instead of feeling safe and loved, you might feel like you’re being controlled, manipulated, or constantly walking on eggshells. On the surface, it can appear like this toxic dynamic is challenging you and helping you grow, but it’s just draining your energy and preventing you from reaching your full potential.
8. They disappear when things get tough
If your partner has a history of disappearing when things get tough, it’s a huge red flag that they aren’t your twin flame. No matter how hard things get, your twin flame will never give up on you and will stay by your side through thick and thin.
On the other hand, a false twin flame will often disappear when you’re feeling down or going through a difficult time. Perhaps they ghost you for days at a time, or maybe they’re full of excuses for why they can’t be there for you when you need them most.
This disappearing act is confusing and hurtful, especially if you’ve convinced yourself that you’re meant to be together. It’s a reminder never to outsource your happiness to another person.
9. You doubt their commitment
When you’re in a twin flame relationship, there’s no doubt in your mind that your partner is fully committed to you. They might not always be physically present, but you know they’re emotionally and spiritually present in the relationship.
However, a false twin flame might make you question their commitment to you. Perhaps they talk about keeping things casual or pull away when you start to get serious.
Just remember that there’s a difference between independence and commitment. Your twin flame will be independent and have their own hobbies and interests, but they’ll also be fully committed to you and the relationship.
Related post: Is he leading me on? 29 signs he won’t commit & what to do
10. You keep secrets from them
You should feel totally comfortable sharing your inner thoughts and feelings with your twin flame. In fact, the whole point of a twin flame relationship is to expose your deepest secrets and fears so you can heal them together.
However, in a false twin flame relationship, you might find yourself keeping secrets from your partner. Perhaps you’re afraid of what they’ll think, or you’ve never felt safe enough to open up to them. Whatever the reason, it’s a sign that you haven’t found your twin flame.
11. You don’t have absolute trust in them
The vulnerability and honesty required in a twin flame relationship aren’t possible without absolute trust. Lying, cheating, and not having each other’s best interests at heart are all obvious deal-breakers and huge red flags that you’re not with your actual twin flame.
Just be aware that trust takes time to build. If you’ve only just met your supposed twin flame, it’s normal to feel a bit guarded and hesitant at first, even though you feel a powerful connection. However, it’s time to reassess the relationship if you’ve been together for a while and still don’t trust them.
12. Your relationship is based on sex
A twin flame relationship is based on a deep spiritual and emotional connection, not just sexual attraction. Of course, the physical aspect of the relationship is important, but it’s not the only thing that matters.
In a false twin flame relationship, the sexual chemistry might be off the charts, but think about whether you also have a deep emotional connection. Do you feel like you can be yourself around them, or do they make you feel like you have to put on an act?
13. You feel like you’re in a power struggle
Twin flame relationships often involve some push and pull, but that’s very different from feeling like you’re in a constant power struggle with your partner. With your twin flame, you’ll feel like you’re on the same team and working together towards a common goal.
On the other hand, if you’re constantly fighting and trying to one-up each other, it’s a sign that you’re not meant to be together. In a twin flame relationship, there’s no need for games or power struggles because you already know and trust each other.
14. They try to control you or change you
A twin flame will love you for who you are and embrace your imperfections. They’ll never try to control or change you because they know you’re on a journey of self-discovery and growth.
If you feel controlled or manipulated in your relationship, do yourself a favor and walk away. You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you and won’t try to turn you into someone who suits their needs.
15. They don’t come and go from your life
Twin flames often come and go from each other’s lives. This is because twin flames relationships are full of ups and downs, and most couples need significant time apart to grow and develop individually. If you’ve been together for years and years and never left each other’s side, you might be with your soulmate instead of your twin flame.
16. They take more than they give
It might be time to reassess your relationship if you feel like you’re always giving more than you’re receiving. In a twin flame relationship, both partners will feel like they’re being supported and loved, not like they’re carrying the weight of the relationship on their shoulders.
17. You feel like you’re losing yourself
If you feel like you’re losing your sense of self in your relationship, it’s a sign that you’re in a codependent relationship, not a twin flame relationship.
Twin flames share an incredibly close bond, but you should never feel like you’re losing yourself. Being with your twin flame should make you feel more like yourself than ever before as you go on a journey of self-discovery and growth.
18. You’re not in sync
In a twin flame relationship, both partners feel emotionally in tune with each other and understand each other’s feelings. You might feel exhausted or drained after a difficult conversation, but there will always be a sense that it was worth it and that you’re closer to understanding yourself and your partner.
19. You have very different core values
Your core values are the things that you consider most important in life. They guide your decisions and shape who you are as a person. Examples of core values include your attitude toward family, views on religion, lifestyle choices, and stance on important social issues.
If you and your partner have completely different values, it’s a sign that your twin flame is false. It’s not impossible to have a happy, long-lasting relationship with someone whose values differ from yours, but it’s more complicated.
20. You don’t share the same goals and dreams
Just like core values, twin flames share similar goals and dreams. This doesn’t mean you have to want exactly the same things, but your goals should be compatible. For example, if you want to travel the world and your partner wants to settle down and start a family, you’re not on the same page.
21. You get jealous of each other
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of jealousy, but it shouldn’t be a constant presence in your relationship. Twin flames rarely feel jealous of each other because they understand that their partner is not trying to take anything away from them.
22. Your relationship isn’t growing and evolving
Twin flame relationships are all about change, evolution, and personal growth. The whole point is to reflect the light of your partner back to them so they can see themselves more clearly. If you feel your relationship is stuck in a rut, it might be because you’re with a false twin flame.
23. Your intuition tells you
When it comes to your own spiritual journey, you should always trust your intuition. If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t right in your relationship, it’s probably because it isn’t.
If you’re unsure whether your twin flame is false, try meditating on the relationship and asking your higher self for guidance. You might not get an answer immediately, but if you trust that the universe will reveal what you need to know, the truth will eventually be clear.
What to do if you’re with a false twin flame
Now that we’ve looked at the signs that you might be with a false twin flame, what can you do about it? It really comes down to whether you feel happy and fulfilled in the relationship or not.
If you’re happy with your false twin flame, there’s no need to change anything. Remember that very few people meet their twin flame, so don’t give up a fantastic relationship because you think it’s not “perfect.” If you’re with someone who loves and supports you, that’s more than many people can say.
On the other hand, if you’re deeply unhappy in your relationship, do something about it. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. If you think your false twin flame is holding you back, it’s time to let them go.
FAQs
Do false twin flames keep coming back?
An actual twin flame will always come back into your life, but a false one will not. False twin flames do not share the deep spiritual bond that binds twin flames together across lifetimes.
Can you have more than one false twin flame?
Yes, it’s possible to have multiple false twin flames. Remember that a false twin flame is just a person you’re attracted to, not your twin flame.
What happens when you separate from a false twin flame?
There’s nothing special about separating from a false twin flame. Because they’re not your true twin flame, you have no spiritual connection. You might feel sad or disappointed, but it won’t be the same as if you were separating from your actual twin flame.
Do you meet a false twin flame before your real twin flame?
The universe knows what you need and will send you the people and experiences you need to grow and evolve. If meeting a false twin flame will help you to prepare for meeting your actual twin flame, then that’s what will happen.
