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Talking dirty with your partner can turn good sex into mind-blowing sex.
The problem is, most people are too embarrassed to even try it. They’re worried about not knowing what to say or that they’ll say something stupid and get laughed out of bed.
The good news is that you can easily learn how to talk dirty to your partner and get them more turned on than you ever thought possible!
Once you gain confidence, you’ll even be able to use your dirty talking skills outside the bedroom to build anticipation and get your partner in the mood.
In this ultimate guide to talking dirty, I’ll show you how to keep the dirty talk rolling off your tongue and how to make sure you don’t embarrass yourself.
Let’s get started.
How can dirty talk help your relationship?
Getting over your fear of sexual talk can do amazing things for your relationship.
Learning about what your partner likes through verbal play increases your sexual connection and will bring you even closer together.
Dirty talk also helps you and your partner become more comfortable talking about sex and describing what turns you on. This can only lead to even better sex and mutual satisfaction!
Everyone is so busy and stressed these days, sex can often feel about as exciting as doing laundry. Talking dirty is a way to inject some new excitement and passion into your sex life.
Dirty talk is also a way to stimulate your imagination and indulge your wildest fantasies. There are no rules when it comes to talking dirty, and you can combine it with any kind of role-playing scenario you like!
How to bring up the idea of dirty talk with your partner
The best way to make dirty talk less embarrassing is to talk about it with your partner beforehand. This way, you’ll both be on the same page, and it won’t be a shock when you’re in the moment.
I completely understand that even bringing up the idea of dirty talk can be embarrassing! Unfortunately, there’s no way around this, and you’ll have to trust that your partner isn’t going to judge you for wanting to try something new.
My advice is to let them know you’re interested in trying some dirty talk, but you’re feeling shy and embarrassed about it. If your partner is into it (and I almost guarantee they will be), agree that you’re not going to take it too seriously, and you’re not going to judge each other.
At the end of the day, talking dirty is supposed to be fun and exciting, and the key is to not overthink it!
Defining your dirty talk boundaries
As part of your initial dirty talk discussion, one of the most important things you need to do is set your boundaries.
This means that you both agree on what’s acceptable and not during dirty talk. For example, your partner might not like too much swearing or profanity. Or perhaps certain sexual acts make them uncomfortable, and they’d rather you didn’t incorporate those into your sexual talk.
On the other hand, you or your partner might love to be called all kinds of filthy names that would be utterly offensive in any different situation!
It’s about having an open and honest discussion about what turns you both on (and off) so that there’s a safe zone you can operate within. Once you have these boundaries established, a lot of the embarrassment will go away because you’ll know exactly the kinds of things your partner likes to hear.
There’s no ‘right’ way to talk dirty
At the end of the day, there’s no ‘right’ way to talk dirty. It’s about being open with your partner about what gets you going and trying things out together.
Even after talking things through beforehand, you’ll still probably make plenty of mistakes along the way. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something that makes your partner laugh or even offends them.
That’s okay. Just take a breath, apologize, and move on. Later on, you should talk about what went wrong and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistake.
It’s crucial that you explore this new aspect of your sexuality without judging each other. You’re in it together, and half the fun is finding out what each other likes and experiencing new heights of passion and excitement!
Talk dirty with confidence
You’ll probably still feel a little embarrassed during your early attempts at talking dirty. Even so, it’s important to project confidence and enthusiasm.
If you sound confident, it will help your partner feel brave enough to get more involved. Before long, you’ll be feeding off each other and having the time of your lives.
Start with texting if you’re feeling embarrassed
If face-to-face dirty talk feels too embarrassing to even consider, how about starting out with some dirty texts?
Sexting is the perfect way to dip your toe in the water without all the stress of keeping the dirty talk flowing. You can take as much time as you need to create the perfect text, and you can think about your replies before you hit send.
It also gives you the chance to tell each other what you like and set the boundaries before you advance to face-to-face dirty talk.
Once you get comfortable sexting each other, it’s a great way to keep the excitement alive in your relationship. Who wouldn’t want to get a sexy text from their partner during a dull day at the office?
Sexting is also a great way to build anticipation and set the mood before seeing each other.
Examples:
When you get home, I’m going to rip all your clothes off and [sexy action].
[sexy action] felt so amazing last night. I can’t wait to do it again.
I’ve been thinking about [sexy action] all day. I can’t wait to get my hands on you.
I’ve spent all day imagining what I’m going to do to you tonight.
I’m so wet/hard thinking about you [sexy action]. I don’t think I can wait until you get here.
What are you doing right now? I need you to come over and [sexy action].
Right now, I’m playing with myself and thinking about when you [sexy action].
When I get home, make sure you’re not wearing any underwear.
You’ll barely remember your name after I’m finished [sexy action] you tonight.
How to always know what to say when you talk dirty
Dirty talk feels so scary because you’re worried you won’t know what to say. Nothing kills the mood faster than stumbling over your words and then drawing a complete blank.
Even worse is the prospect of saying something that sounds completely corny and lame. You feel like you’re going to get laughed at and die of embarrassment.
But don’t worry! Learning these simple categories will help keep the words flowing naturally off your tongue.
- Describe what you’re doing to your partner (as you do it).
- Describe how your partner is making you feel (as they touch you).
- Describe what you want your partner to do to you.
- Describe what you want to do to your partner.
- Use sounds to heighten the mood.
Remember that dirty talk doesn’t need to be complicated or fancy. It’s all about elevating the mood and making each other feel good.
As you get more comfortable talking dirty, you can deviate from these categories and build your own sexy narratives and fantasies.
1. Describe what you’re doing to your partner (as you do it)
The easiest way to talk dirty is to simply describe what you’re doing to your partner as you do it.
Be as descriptive as possible, and don’t overthink it too much. It’s important not to sound like you’re in a doctor’s office giving a medical exam.
This technique is great because you don’t have to think too far ahead or remember a bunch of phrases.
Just insert whatever body part is relevant in the examples below.
Examples:
I love licking and sucking your [body part] so much.
I love how your [body part] feels in my hands as I stroke and squeeze you.
Mmmm… I love the way your perfect [body part] feels in my mouth.
I can’t wait to feel the taste of your [body part] on my lips.
You have such a perfect [body part]. I love it so much.
2. Describe how your partner is making you feel (as they touch you)
Another simple form of dirty talk is to describe how your partner is making you feel. Just go with the flow and be as descriptive as possible.
A significant advantage of this technique is that you can use it to let them know what feels really good and encourage them to do more of it!
Examples:
I love it when you lick and suck my [body part] just like that.
You sound so sexy when you’re going down on me like that.
I love it when you [sexy action]. Please don’t stop!
It makes me want to [sexy action] when you look at me like that.
You taste and smell so amazing. I could get drunk on your scent.
Your body feels so good against mine.
I love how your tongue feels on my [body part].
Yes, just like that. Keep touching my [body part].
3. Describe what you want your partner to do to you
Describing what you want your partner to do to you is a little more advanced, but it will take your dirty talk to the next level.
If your partner gets turned on when you give them orders, don’t be afraid to direct them and tell them precisely what you want.
Examples:
I want you to kiss and lick every part of my body. Starting with my [body part] and ending with my [body part].
I want you to [sexy action] right now.
I need you to make me come right now.
Do whatever you want with me baby. My [body part] is all yours.
Tell me how much you love it when I [sexy action].
I want you to scream my name when you come.
4. Describe what you want to do to your partner
The final step on your dirty talking journey is to get comfortable telling your partner what you want to do to them.
This is where it’s essential that you know their boundaries and what they like so you don’t offend them or make them feel uncomfortable.
Examples:
I’m going to kiss and lick every inch of your body.
I’m going to make you come so hard you won’t be able to stand up.
I’m going to tear your clothes off and do you on the [household item].
Tonight I’m taking charge. Are you ready to give me what I want?
I’m going to ride you so hard tonight.
5. Use sounds to heighten the mood
Don’t be afraid to use other sounds when you’re having sex. Moaning and groaning is a great way to signal to your partner that you like what they’re doing.
Again, there are no rules. If you want to howl like a wolf or purr like a pussy cat during sex – go for it!
More dirty talk inspiration
There are lots of places you can find inspiration and ideas for incorporating dirty talk into your sex life.
Role-playing is a fun way to get creative in the bedroom and indulge all your wildest dirty talking fantasies. Dirty French maids, police officers, and submissive princesses are just the tip of the iceberg to get your imagination flowing.
Watching porn with your partner or reading erotic novels together is also a great way to get new ideas for dirty talk scenarios. Why not act out a scene or two for yourselves!
You might also enjoy: 21 sexy games for couples to spice up your relationship
