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There’s nothing worse than feeling like your man is losing interest and pulling away.
Maybe you’re in a long-term relationship, and he’s become distant and distracted. He’s not giving you the attention and affection he used to, and it feels like he’s already got one foot out the door. Or perhaps you’re falling for a new guy, but he’s not showing any signs that he’s into you, no matter how much you try to make him happy.
The good news is that making a guy want you and keeping him interested isn’t as hard as you think. You just have to know how men think and what drives them in their relationships.
These 17 tips will show you how to make a man want you – and even more importantly, how to keep him devoted and committed to you for the long term.
1. Don’t always be available
One of the best ways to make a man want you is to not always be available to him. Men love the thrill of the chase when it comes to women, and they absolutely adore a woman who plays hard-to-get.
If you’re always available and eager to see him or talk to him on the phone, you’ll just be another girl in a long line of girls that are eager to please him.
So play up the fact that you’re busy and have a fun life of your own. Don’t be afraid to completely ignore him or say that you’re too busy to see him or you’ve already made other plans.
And when he texts or calls you, don’t always respond right away. Don’t answer every time he calls and sometimes hold off a few hours before you reply to his texts.
You don’t need to be rude, just play the game and let him wonder what you’re up to and who you’re with. This will drive him crazy with curiosity and make him work much harder to earn his time with you.
The key is balance. You don’t want to appear so aloof and disinterested that he gives up and moves on, but you do want to make him work a little bit for your time.
2. Be mysterious
He needs to know there’s more to you than meets the eye. He has a lot of work ahead of him if he wants to discover all your secrets!
Create some mystery in your relationship by avoiding questions about your past relationships, talking less about yourself, and not telling him everything that’s on your mind.
Keep part of yourself private so that it feels like a real treat for him when you do open up. He worked hard for this information, and he’ll be excited to learn about the real you.
Also, keep in mind that men love women who make them wait before getting what they want. The anticipation drives them crazy! How many movies have you seen where a man falls in love with a woman simply because she didn’t sleep with him on the first or second date?
You don’t want him to think you’re a prude. You can still turn him on hard – just don’t show all your cards right away, so there’s more for him to discover and keep him interested along the way.
3. Surprise him
Surprises are like little bursts of energy for your relationship. They keep things interesting and help you bond in new ways that feel fun, flirty, and exciting for both of you.
Surprise him every once in a while with something he wouldn’t expect but totally loves. Perhaps it’s tickets to see his favorite band or team play or a private show from you in some sexy new lingerie. I guarantee that will keep any guy wanting more!
Surprising him isn’t just about buying him gifts. It’s also about making little changes for him. Your man will feel loved and appreciated if you do something nice for him that he didn’t expect.
It could even be as simple as taking care of a chore or errand for him. If you see something that needs to be done, do it and make his life easier without asking first. He’ll love the fact that he has such an amazing and helpful girlfriend or wife.
The trick is to not surprise him too often. You want your surprises to feel special and part of what makes your relationship unique.
4. Take the lead
Men love women who aren’t afraid to take the lead in their relationships. It’s sexy because it shows that you’re confident and secure within yourself.
A lot of women struggle to take charge because they don’t want to seem bossy or overbearing. But trust me, most guys wish their girl would show more alpha female traits and just tell them what they want! Your man can’t read your mind, so how will he know if you don’t tell him?
And don’t apologize or make excuses when asking for things or discussing problems in your relationship! You don’t need to be bossy or demanding – just take the lead and communicate openly and honestly.
5. Make him laugh
Laughter is an essential ingredient in any healthy relationship. It helps you connect with each other on a deeper level. It helps break down emotional barriers and get closer in awkward moments or when talking about challenging topics.
Inside jokes are also a great way to help you connect on a deeper level by developing your own private language with each other. They also give you something fun and happy to fall back on whenever things get tough.
If trying to act funny doesn’t come naturally to you, try watching funny movies or TV shows together. Spend some time browsing the internet for the funniest jokes you can find, then tell them to each other when you’re hanging out.
Try things like playing pranks on your man, having pillow fights in bed, or experimenting with roleplaying games during sex. Laughing with him in bed is a great way to show affection and deepen your connection as a couple.
6. Flirt with him
Flirting is a great way to make your man want you and feel intense attraction towards you. It’s fun, sexy and adds passion and excitement to your relationship.
There are lots of ways you can flirt with your man to keep him interested.
For example, ‘accidentally’ bumping into him and giving him a sexy hug or kiss will make his heart race. Even looking at him with sexy eyes when he enters the room will be sure to get his attention.
Or perhaps when you’re talking to him, turn it into more of an intimate moment by leaning in close and casually stroking his arm.
If he’s not around, sending him a flirty text message during the day will drive him crazy, and let him know how much you’re thinking about him.
Whatever you do, it should be completely spontaneous so that it feels fresh and new for both of you. There are no rules here – just have fun!
The secret weapon to make him obsessed with you
All men feel a powerful urge to compete. It comes from ancient times when every day was a fight for survival to protect their tribe and provide for their families.
The stakes are much lower today, but the competitive urge remains deeply rooted in male biology. Instead of fighting saber-toothed tigers, men channel their competitive energy into work, fitness, acquiring wealth, or earning the respect of their peers.
Imagine if you could harness all this competitive energy and make a man obsessed with winning your love.
You can. And all you need to do is trigger a biological switch inside him that will make him see you as the ultimate prize.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls this switch the “hero instinct,” and it explains why some women have men falling all over them while others struggle to find lasting love.
Triggering a man’s hero instinct taps into his competitive spirit and makes him see your relationship as an opportunity to prove himself as a man. Making you happy gives him purpose and a “game” to win.
Instead of you chasing him, he will jump through hoops to impress you and win your approval. In a matter of days, he’ll become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed possible.
And the best part is that you can do all this without playing hard to get or acting like a damsel in distress.
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him utterly obsessed with you.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but it’s the real deal. James’ techniques use simple yet powerful psychology to help you tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
7. Take control in the bedroom
Taking the lead in bed can be a total turn-on for men, especially if you’re usually more passive.
Take control of how fast or slow things go and take charge before he has time to make all the moves. This will drive him crazy with excitement and curiosity and keep your guy wanting more.
Showing him you aren’t afraid to be bold in the bedroom will also give him the confidence he needs to experiment and try new ways to please you.
8. Take an interest in his life
Taking an interest in his life (and problems) shows him how caring and supportive you are.
If he’s telling you about his day at work, follow up with more specific questions like ‘How did that make you feel?’ or ‘What would have made today better for you?’
A lot of guys find it hard to really open up and tell you how they feel. But once he gets used to it, he’ll discover having you as a confidant and sounding board is completely addictive.
Men really appreciate it when women are supportive of them without being too pushy or overbearing. If he seems upset or stressed out, lend him your sympathetic ear and offer him your honest advice.
9. Appreciate him and give him plenty of compliments
A man who feels needed in his relationship is a happy man. Give him every reason to feel this way with small gestures here and there throughout each week.
You’ll be amazed at how much more interested he becomes when you show him some appreciation for all the little things he does to help you.
Thanking him for picking up some groceries on the way home or helping you move a piece of furniture doesn’t seem like a big deal. But these little things make your man feel like an everyday hero and keep him satisfied and engaged in your relationship.
10. Don’t be clingy
A fatal mistake that many women make is getting too clingy around their men. They think that being clingy will make him want to be closer and more affectionate with them.
But the truth is, when you’re too clingy, it makes him want to run in the opposite direction as fast as he can!
Instead, you need to be confident and show him that you love yourself and you’re not desperate for his love and affection. You need to show your man that he’s essential to you, but you’re not pining after him every hour of the day.
Men like to feel like they have their own space and independence. The more independent spirit you show him, the more he’ll feel like he can keep his own identity and the more he’ll want to commit to you.
11. Learn to mirror him
Mirroring is a powerful way of showing someone how much you like them.
Mimicking the subtle things he does builds familiarity and rapport and makes him feel like he can trust you. It also signals that you’re open to getting close to him on an emotional level.
For example, suppose he has his arm around the back of your chair while talking to you at dinner one night. Try leaning in closer towards him and mirror what he’s doing by putting your own arm behind the chair too!
This doesn’t mean trying to be exactly like him – just look for certain behaviors or gestures that will make him feel comfortable around you without being threatening or overbearing.
Subtle mirroring will help him feel like you’re on the same wavelength and that he can trust you with more personal information. It takes time to get a man interested in this way, but it’s definitely well worth putting in the effort!
12. Don’t be a drama queen
Men want to feel needed in their relationships, but they also don’t like constant drama. He doesn’t want to drop everything and come running when the slightest thing goes wrong in your day.
Of course, you should go to him for support when you have a problem. Just don’t be a drama queen and make mountains out of molehills.
In other words, try to think about the problem you’re facing more rationally. Is there a chance your emotions are getting out of control and making the situation seem more significant than it actually is?
Instead of overreacting every time something goes slightly wrong in your life, try taking control back by showing him that you can handle things without his help.
For example, if someone cuts in front of you and you don’t get the parking space – try not to make a big scene. Instead, move on with poise and confidence!
This doesn’t mean that you need to pretend like everything is perfect all the time. It just means showing him how mature you are by controlling your emotions instead of getting upset at every little thing that goes wrong during the day.
13. Smell good for him
Men love the smell of a woman’s perfume – but did you know that they also love the ‘natural’ scents of their partner too? Pheromones are natural chemicals found in sweat and are designed to attract the opposite sex.
When your man gets close enough to get a whiff of these pheromones – it makes him feel instantly more attracted and aroused. It might seem a little gross at first, but you need to think of it as just simply another way for him to get close with you.
For example, if he likes the smell of your hair – don’t be afraid to lean in closer so that he can have a good sniff! It’s a beautiful intimate thing, and men often find it very seductive.
14. Show him how to make you happy
Men crave a purpose in their relationship to feel truly invested and committed. And the best way you can give him this sense of purpose is to show him how he can please you.
This doesn’t just mean teaching him what turns you on in the bedroom (although that’s important as well!) There are also many little requests you can ask of him and tasks you can give him that will provide him with the chance to feel like a man.
15. Encourage his hobbies and interests
Encouraging your man in his hobbies and interests shows him that you value his independence and aren’t trying to control every aspect of his life.
Many couples give up the things they love when they enter a relationship because they feel like it’s selfish to spend so much time apart.
This is a huge mistake!
For example, if your man loves playing golf, encourage him to get out there and play regularly – even if it means that you both have less time together.
It’s all about compromise. You should always make sure that you spend enough time together without completely giving up the things you love.
And if he seems like he wants to share his passions with you, try your best to sound interested. You don’t need to learn every detail about everything he likes – but it’s always nice when someone shows an interest in what makes us happy!
16. Experiment with your style
There’s nothing more exciting for a man than when his partner is trying out a new style. He loves seeing you get creative and experimenting with different looks – especially if it means he gets to see you in some sexy new lingerie!
If you’ve always worn your hair long, try something new like a shoulder-length cut or even some funky highlights. This will give him an instant attraction boost and keep him excited and interested!
