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If you catch feelings for a shy guy, it can be tough to tell if he likes you back. He’ll never come straight out and tell you how he feels, and he’s probably giving you a lot of mixed signals.
If you want to be with him, you’ll have to take the lead and work harder to decipher all his nervous behavior. The good news is there are plenty of subtle signs you can look for to tell if he’s into you.
Here are 30 signs a shy guy likes you and how you should treat him if you want to make him yours.
1. He opens up over text
If a shy guy likes you, he can say all kinds of things over text that he would never dream of saying in person. He can relax and be himself because he doesn’t have to worry about looking you in the eye, fumbling his words, or blushing with embarrassment. If you’re lucky, he might even work up the courage to admit how he feels about you.
Related post: 77 cute & flirty goodnight texts for your boyfriend
2. He blows hot and cold
If a shy guy blows hot and cold around you, he’s probably not playing mind games. He’s just so nervous that he can’t help sending you mixed messages. Sometimes he’s friendly and willing to chat, and then suddenly he retreats back into his shell and completely ignores you.
All you can do is tell yourself he’s not doing it on purpose and try to be patient and understanding. Over time, he’ll hopefully get a handle on his nerves, and you won’t have to second guess his unpredictable behavior.
3. He constantly glances at you
A shy guy won’t be brave enough to stare directly into your eyes, but you might notice him glancing at you from across the room or sneaking peeks when you’re not looking. If he sees that you’ve caught him, he’ll probably blush and quickly look away.
4. He goes quiet around you
When he’s hanging out with his friends, he’s relaxed and chatty. But as soon as you show up, he gets quiet and withdrawn and avoids eye contact.
5. He’s a great listener
A shy guy who likes you will be happy to sit back and listen to you talk about your life, problems, or anything else that’s on your mind. Listening allows him to spend time with you without stressing about what he wants to say next. Even better, he’ll never interrupt, try to one-up you, or turn the conversation around and make it all about him.
6. He blushes or sweats
For a shy guy, being around a girl he likes can be so overwhelming that his body goes into fight or flight mode. He might blush around the face or neck, get sweaty palms, or start breathing more rapidly.
If you notice this happening, the best thing you can do is pretend like you haven’t seen it and carry on the conversation. He’ll start to relax after a few minutes, and the physical symptoms will disappear.
The secret ingredient that will make even a shy guy commit to you
Relationship psychologist James Bauer has spent over ten years studying the science of attraction, and he’s discovered that all men share a powerful biological urge.
Men want more than anything to feel useful and needed in their relationships. They crave it more than love or sex, and it often makes the difference between “like” and “love.”
This urge comes from a time when men had to compete to survive and protect their families from wild animals and rival tribes. Even though life was hard, they were constantly challenged and lived lives of purpose and meaning.
The stakes are much lower today, but the need to feel useful remains deeply rooted in male biology. If a man doesn’t feel useful and needed in his relationship, he constantly feels like something is missing. These lingering doubts prevent him from fully committing and eventually cause him to go cold, emotionally pull away, or even be unfaithful.
The amazing thing is that you can learn how to trigger the hero instinct in any man. And when you do, you’ll give him exactly what he’s missing and make him feel deeply satisfied and content in your relationship. You’ll become his biggest priority and destroy any fear of commitment lingering in the back of his mind.
When you trigger a man’s hero instinct, he becomes comfortable fully investing in your relationship because he knows he’ll never need anyone else. In a matter of days, you’ll notice him become more protective, committed, and attracted to you than you ever dreamed was possible.
So how do you trigger the hero instinct in a man?
This free video presentation from James Bauer will show you exactly what to say, what texts to send, and what to ask your man to trigger his hero instinct and make him want to work for your love and admiration.
It sounds almost too good to be true, but James’ techniques use proven psychology to tap into the deepest desires that all men feel.
7. He always finds a way to be near you
A shy guy who likes you will always find a way to be around you, even if he has no intention of talking to you. If you’re at the same party, he’ll find an excuse to stand near you, and if you’re in the same class, he’ll always manage to get a seat near yours.
8. His wingmen do his work for him
If he’s too shy to tell you how he feels, he might send his friends to do it for him. His wingmen will casually bring up topics like relationship status and whether you’re seeing anyone, and they’ll try to gauge your interest in him.
9. His friends tease him about you
His friends want him to be happy and get the girl, but that doesn’t stop them from teasing him mercilessly about you. If they’re constantly making jokes about how he’s head over heels for you, it’s a good sign that he likes you but is too shy to admit it.
10. He’s full of excuses
Whenever you try to talk to him, he always has an excuse why he can’t stay and chat. He looks flustered and in a rush because he has to get to work, school, or meet up with friends. In reality, he’s not busy and would love to hang out, but his nerves are screaming for him to make a quick getaway because talking to you face-to-face is just too scary.
11. He likes all your social media posts
Being active on your socials is the perfect way for a shy guy to connect with you without actually talking to you. Liking every single one of your posts sends a big hint that he’s interested, and emojis can express all kinds of emotions that he would never say out loud.
12. He’s always happy to help
If you need help with anything, a shy guy will be more than happy to step up and offer his assistance. Helping you out gives him an excuse to spend time with you, and it’s much less pressure than a date because he can focus on being helpful instead of charming.
13. He’s there when you need support
He might not say much, but he’ll always be there to offer a shoulder to cry on. Even better, he’ll listen to you vent your problems without judging or offering unsolicited advice.
14. He gets jealous
A shy guy’s biggest fear is that he’ll never get to date you because he doesn’t have the courage to ask you out. Whenever he sees a more charming or charismatic guy talking or flirting with you, that fear becomes much more real, and he gets jealous.
Related post: 21 ways to make a guy jealous and want you more
15. He mirrors your body language
Mirroring is when someone unconsciously copies the body language of the person they’re interested in. It’s an entirely subconscious behavior and an excellent way for a shy guy to build rapport with you when he’s not great with words.
For example, if you tilt your head in a certain way while listening to him, he might do the same thing. Or, if you’re sitting with your legs crossed, he might copy your position.
16. He’s protective of you
There are many subtle ways a shy guy can show that he’s protective of you. He might walk nearest the curb to keep you safe from traffic or offer his jacket if you’re cold. Not all heroes wear capes, and he doesn’t have to be loud or assertive to show that he cares.
17. He remembers everything you tell him
A shy guy will remember everything you tell him, from your favorite food to your cat’s name. He might not say much, but he’s a great listener and pays close attention to everything you say. He hangs on your every word because he’s interested in everything about you.
18. He “accidentally” runs into you
Whether it’s your favorite lunch spot or the gym you always go to, he has a way of running into you. Sometimes he might be alone, but often he’ll be with his friends to make him look less like a stalker. Of course, he never actually comes over and talks to you, but he obviously wants you to notice him.
19. He’s always smiling
Even though you make him nervous, he still can’t help but smile when he sees you. He’s happy just to be around you, and his nervousness doesn’t stop him from showing how pleased he is whenever you’re in the same room.
20. He stumbles over his words
Getting tongue-tied is a very common reaction when a shy guy likes you. He gets so nervous around you that he can’t seem to get his words out without stuttering and stumbling. He rambles on without making any sense, randomly changes the subject, and it feels like his head will explode when he tries to compliment you.
21. He’s very agreeable
Being agreeable is a common defense mechanism for shy guys. He’s already nervous around you and doesn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing and making a bad impression. So instead, he just agrees with whatever you say.
22. He finds excuses to touch you
Touch is one of the most powerful body language signs of attraction, and a shy guy will find all kinds of subtle ways to touch you without being too obvious. For example, he might let his leg touch yours under the table or casually brush your arm while talking to you.
23. He turns clumsy
You make him so nervous that he turns into a klutz around you. He trips over his feet, drops things, and can’t seem to do anything right. It’s like he forgets how to use his body when you’re around, and it’s actually pretty adorable.
24. He fidgets
Does he play with his hair, tap his feet, or bite his nails when he’s around you? These are all common signs of nervousness, and it’s a pretty good indication that he likes you. He’s so excited to be around you that he can’t keep still and just has to fidget to release all that nervous energy.
25. He tries new things for you
If a shy guy is willing to get out of his comfort zone and try new things to impress you, then it’s pretty obvious he likes you. Whether it’s going skydiving or trying new food, he’s more than happy to do it if it means he gets to spend more time with you.
26. He’s nice to your friends
It will take a shy guy a while to warm up to your friends, but he will go out of his way to be nice to them, even if it makes him nervous. He knows that if he can make a good impression on the people you care about, he’s one step closer to winning you over.
27. He breathes deeply when he sees you
If you notice him taking a deep breath when he sees you, it’s probably because he’s trying to calm his nerves. Breathing deeply is a relaxation technique that can help ease anxiety, and it’s likely that he’s using it to control his nerves around you.
28. He dresses up for you
If you notice a change in his style or how he dresses when he’s around you, it’s probably because he’s trying to impress you. He wants to look his best so that you’ll notice him, and he hopes that dressing up will make you see him in a new light.
29. He’s deep and thoughtful
A shy guy has spent so many hours listening to you talk that he knows more about you than anyone else in your life. This gives him the power to ask you all kinds of deep and thoughtful questions that other guys wouldn’t even think to ask.
30. He always knows what you’re up to
A shy guy will go out of his way to keep tabs on you and know what you’re up to at all times. He’s always asking your friends about you and trying to find out where you are and what you’re doing. It might seem like he’s a little bit too interested in your life, but it’s really just because he wants to feel closer to you.
How should you treat a shy guy?
If you can tell that a shy guy likes you, there are some things you can do to make him feel more comfortable and confident around you.
1.Take the lead
If he can’t seem to muster up the courage to ask you out, take the lead and ask him yourself. He’ll be relieved that you made the first move, and it will give him the confidence to return the favor next time.
2. Make the first move
You can also make the first move when it comes to physical contact. A shy guy might not have the courage to make a move himself, so take matters into your own hands and hug or kiss him.
3. Be patient
A shy guy might take longer to open up to you, but patience is essential. He needs time to build up his courage, and you shouldn’t rush him.
4. Encourage him to talk
When talking to a shy guy, encourage him to open up by asking questions about his life, interests, and thoughts on various topics. He’ll appreciate that you’re interested in him, and he’ll be more likely to open up to you.
5. Chat to him via text and online
If a shy guy is too nervous to talk to you in person, start chatting to him online or over text. He’ll feel more comfortable communicating with you this way, and it will be easier for him to open up to you.
6. Don’t play games with him
The worst thing you can do with a shy guy is to play games with him. He’s already struggling to build up the courage to talk to you, and playing mind games will make it harder for him. So be genuine, be friendly, and don’t lead him on.
FAQs
How can you tell if a shy guy likes you through text?
If a shy guy likes you, he’ll likely be more responsive to your texts than many other guys. Because he finds face-to-face conversations difficult, he’ll ask you lots of questions, write long replies and try to learn everything he can about you. He might also ask you more personal questions and start deeper and more meaningful conversations.
Why do shy guys take so long to text back?
A shy guy might take a while to text back because he’s trying to think of the perfect thing to say. He’s nervous about saying the wrong thing and coming across as awkward, so he’ll take his time crafting a reply that he hopes will impress you.
Is it better to date a shy guy or an outgoing guy?
It depends on your preferences. Some people prefer shy guys because they’re more reflective and thoughtful, while others prefer outgoing guys because they’re more confident and tend to be better at taking the lead. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what type of guy you’re interested in.
Should you make the first move with a shy guy?
There’s no rule that says you have to wait for a guy to make the first move. If you’re interested in a shy guy and you can tell he likes you, feel free to make the first move yourself. He’ll likely be relieved and grateful that you did.
