This post may include affiliate links to products we think you'll find useful. We may earn a small commission if you buy through these links. Read our affiliate disclosure.
Most men don’t leave their wives for another woman just because they want someone younger or more attractive. They leave because something they need is missing from their relationship.
Some relationships have very little chance of being repaired, and the best option is to move on with your life. But you can fix most marriage problems if you’re willing to put in the hard work. Remember the early days of your marriage when you were blissfully in love? It is possible to get back to that feeling again.
Hopefully, this article will help you spot the warning signs that your husband is thinking of leaving you. And if he’s already gone, it might help you figure out where things went wrong.
1. He doesn’t feel appreciated
Feeling unappreciated is a surefire reason why many men leave their relationships. The reality is that much of married life involves doing things that you’d rather not do – like driving the kids to soccer practice, taking out the trash, or doing the grocery shopping.
It’s easy to take your husband for granted and assume that he’ll always be there to pick up the slack and help you keep your family together.
But the truth is, even the most loyal and patient man needs to feel appreciated by his wife. He needs to know that you see and appreciate all the things he does for you and your family. Without that appreciation, he might start to feel used and unneeded, which might lead him to look elsewhere for validation.
So make an effort to show your appreciation for him, both in words and actions. Thank him for the things he does for you and your family, no matter how big or small. Let him know that you’re grateful to have him in your life and make him feel like your hero.
Related post: The Hero Instinct: How to trigger it in your man
2. Your emotional intimacy has faded
If the emotional intimacy has faded from your relationship, your husband might leave you for another woman who can give him the emotional support he craves.
Emotional intimacy refers to the emotional connection you share with your husband. It develops over time and is built from a strong foundation of trust and good communication. It allows you to feel supported by your husband to share your innermost thoughts and emotions without feeling judged. It enables you to understand him on a deep level and learn what makes them tick.
Emotional intimacy gives couples support, understanding, and a connection to survive almost anything together. In many ways, it’s more important than sexual intimacy. A healthy relationship is possible without sex, but it’s unlikely to survive if your emotional needs aren’t being met.
Some couples always have a certain amount of emotional distance in their relationship. And for others, it fades over time due to pressures on the relationship. When there’s a lack of intimacy in a relationship, communication starts to break down, and the couple’s sex life often suffers. They become cold and distant until they feel like two strangers living together.
3. Your sex life is lacking
When a man doesn’t feel like his sexual needs are being met, it makes him feel physically and emotionally rejected. If this goes on for a long time, he might be tempted by a new woman willing to give him the physical intimacy he desires.
There are a few common reasons why sexual intimacy fades in a long-term relationship. The main one is that our sexual needs and desires change over time. A couple might enjoy an active and fulfilling sex life throughout many years of marriage, and then suddenly, one partner completely loses interest in sex.
With all the stresses of work and family life, it’s easy to see how maintaining an intimate relationship becomes a lower priority for couples. At the end of a long day, it’s tempting to collapse into bed and sleep rather than take the time to be intimate with your partner.
Couples need to make their sex life a priority if they want to keep the spark alive. Listening to each other’s needs, being tolerant, and making an effort to please each other is a significant first step.
Related post: 21 sexy games for couples to spice up your relationship
Don’t give up on your marriage until you’ve tried this
If you’re looking for a practical guide to saving your marriage without expensive counseling, I recommend you check out “Mend the Marriage” by Brad Browning.
There are many marriage-saving guides out there, but Mend the Marriage is by far the most detailed guide I’ve ever seen. No matter what issues you’re facing in your marriage, Brad will have helpful advice for your situation and answer all your “what if” scenarios.”
Mend the Marriage contains hundreds of real-world examples tested on married couples. For example, the section on how to handle arguments will show you effective techniques to instantly stop a fight in its tracks without any lingering resentment.
The best part is that Mend the Marriage will work even if your spouse isn’t interested. In fact, Brad believes it’s better if you take the first steps on your own. His powerful psychological techniques will rewire your spouse’s perception of you and subconsciously rebuild their attraction before they even know what’s happening.
Brad claims that almost all marriages can be saved. That’s a bold claim, but I believe him after reading Mend the Marriage. Brad is a certified relationship counselor and has spent over a decade helping men and women repair their broken relationships. His experience has helped him develop dozens of unique and groundbreaking techniques I’ve never seen anywhere else.
Check out Brad’s free video to learn more about Mend the Marriage. It might make the difference between “divorced and lonely” and “happily ever after.”
4. You’re constantly arguing
Communication issues and a lack of resolution to arguments usually drive the cycle of non-stop fighting in a relationship. When the same arguments come up over and over again, it’s emotionally draining and makes you both feel like there’s no way out.
These arguments often start with specific issues – “You didn’t take the trash out again.” But over time, they evolve into character assassinations that have nothing to do with the original problem – “You’re a lazy bum who never does anything.”
This pattern eventually leads to a lack of respect in the relationship. Over a long period of time, resentment starts to build until you give up fighting altogether and become cold and distant towards each other. And when your husband meets another woman who finally makes him heard and understood, it’s not surprising that he leaves you for her.
If this sounds like your marriage, you need to take action right away. You both need to learn how to argue constructively and focus on solving the problems causing the arguments rather than getting stuck in a vicious cycle.
Make a conscious effort to listen to each other and understand each other’s perspectives. Treat each other with empathy and respect, and learn to apologize and forgive. The more you understand each other’s needs, the closer your relationship will become.
5. He doesn’t feel respected
Treating your husband with disrespect is a major blow to his ego and makes him feel devalued and unimportant. He will quickly realize you don’t see him as an equal partner in the relationship, and it’s only a matter of time before he starts looking for a new partner who will give him the respect he deserves.
Examples of disrespecting your husband include talking down to him, not trusting him to make decisions, and not listening to him or considering his opinions. An unwillingness to compromise or work together as a team is also disrespectful.
If you want your husband to stick around, you need to show him the respect he deserves. Listen to him and value his opinions. Appreciate his input and give him the credit he deserves. Showing your husband respect is one of the most important things you can do to keep your relationship strong.
6. He feels inadequate
If you constantly criticize your husband and point out his mistakes, it will lower his self-esteem and give him a fear of failure. This will make him less likely to do things for you, which will lead to more criticism and create a vicious cycle.
Nothing will drive your husband into the arms of another woman faster than feeling like he can’t measure up to your high standards. These strong feelings of inadequacy and shame will cut to the heart of who he is as a man and compel him to find another partner who builds his sense of self-worth.
Make it a point to give your husband the praise and encouragement he needs. Help him build his confidence by asking for his input and ensuring he knows you value his opinion. Finding little ways to appreciate him will go a long way towards keeping your man happy and committed to being with you.
7. He’s bored
It’s perfectly natural to go through periods of feeling a little bit bored in your marriage. You know each other so well that there’s nothing new to discover, and the everyday routine of life can start to feel a bit monotonous.
If your husband starts to feel very bored and dissatisfied with your relationship, he might start looking for something that makes him feel alive again. And that “something” might be another woman who can provide him with the excitement he craves.
To keep your man from leaving you for another woman, you need to find effective ways to keep the excitement and mystery alive in your relationship. You can do this by keeping things fresh and new – surprise him with a date at an interesting new restaurant or take a trip to someplace you’ve always wanted to go.
Or, if you’re feeling extra adventurous, add a little excitement to your sex life with some new positions or fantasies. The key is to keep your man guessing and prevent him from getting too comfortable in the relationship.
8. He’s changed
It’s a fact of life that people change over time. Whether you married your husband two years ago or twenty years ago, he will not be the same person he was back then. You might have been on the same page when you first got married, but now he feels like a completely different person that you can’t connect with.
Some changes seem small but can still significantly impact your relationship. Maybe he needs more alone time, and it feels like he’s ignoring you or shutting you out. Or perhaps he’s got new interests or a new group of friends that are changing his political and social views.
In extreme cases, he might change to the point where he leaves you for another woman that he feels better suits his new lifestyle or attitude. He feels so far away from you that he can’t imagine continuing to stay in the marriage.
The key to dealing with change is open communication. If you feel like your husband is changing and you’re struggling to keep up, talk to him about it. Share your concerns and ask him what he’s thinking and feeling. If you can understand each other’s perspectives, it will be easier to find a way to connect despite the changes.
9. You’re too controlling
When you try to control everything in your relationship, it doesn’t give your husband a chance to step up and feel like a leader. This will make him feel like he’s not needed in the relationship and severely damage his self-esteem.
Controlling behavior can take many different forms. Maybe you tell your husband what to eat and what to wear and generally micromanage every aspect of his life. Or perhaps you make all the decisions in your relationship without considering his opinion.
If you’re always telling him what to do or how to behave, he’ll feel smothered and like he can’t make his own choices anymore. And if this continues, he has a compelling reason to leave you for another woman who will let him take charge and feel like a man again.
You should have clear boundaries and expectations for your husband, but don’t try to control every aspect of his life. Encourage him to be independent and make his own decisions. Show him that you trust him by giving him the freedom he needs to grow as an individual.
When you let go of control and give your husband the space he needs, it will strengthen your relationship and keep him from looking for another woman as a source of validation.
10. You want different things from life
Your life goals are constantly changing, and it’s common for couples to want different things at different stages in their relationship. But if your goals are consistently mismatched, it can strain your marriage.
For example, if you value financial security and your husband wants a life of freedom and adventure, you’re going to butt heads on a regular basis. He may want to quit his job and travel the world, but that doesn’t fit with your plans to buy a home. Or he may delay having kids for years because he doesn’t want to be tied down, but that’s not something you feel comfortable with.
These differences in values can make it extremely difficult to find a compromise, and your husband may start resenting you for holding him back. In the worst-case scenario, he may leave you for a new partner who shares his values more closely.
If you have different goals, the most important thing you can do is try to find ways to compromise and meet him halfway. Remember that everyone has different needs and dreams, so there’s no reason to expect your husband to be 100% aligned with you in every aspect of life.
11. He’s losing his identity
These days, your husband rarely sees his friends and doesn’t have much time for his hobbies. Because you’re both so busy, he’s even stopped contributing to the relationship’s decision-making process. It’s just easier for you to choose what you eat, where you go on vacation, and what you do with your free time.
In other words, he’s lost his sense of true self. And without his individual identity, he’ll start feeling like a small cog in a big machine. His life will feel pointless because it’s no longer about him, and he may be drawn to another woman who reminds him that he’s an individual with his own wants and needs.
It’s important to remember that you both have your own lives outside of marriage. The best thing you can do is support your husband’s hobbies, give him time to hang out with his friends, and let him make some of the decisions in the relationship. That way, you’ll feel like independent individuals who are still connected by love and commitment.
12. He isn’t ready for marriage
Many couples get married for the wrong reason and don’t realize it until it’s too late. Some couples even get married because they see all their friends doing it. They convince themselves it’s just part of life’s journey and pull the trigger without fully thinking through what it means.
If your husband struggles to talk about the future and refuses to make long-term plans around having kids, buying a home, or retirement, it’s a clear sign that he’s not ready to take on the responsibilities of married life.
Avoiding future plans will put massive stress on your relationship. Over time, these issues will build resentment and anxiety until something snaps, and your husband leaves you to be with someone who doesn’t make him feel trapped and tied down.
13. He no longer finds you attractive
When you first got together, your husband couldn’t keep his hands off you. He was always trying to sneak a kiss or cop a feel, and he loved how confident you were in your body.
But now, he barely even notices you, let alone tries to initiate sexual intercourse. He no longer compliments you on your appearance, and he’s even started making comments about your weight or how you dress.
The reality is that our bodies change as we age, and everyone needs to accept that. But some men find it hard to deal with their wives’ physical changes, and they start to look around for someone younger or more attractive.
If your husband has lost interest in sex or physical intimacy, it’s essential to have an honest conversation with him. It’s easy to blame him or call him vain, but that doesn’t help you solve the problem. The good news is that if you work together, you can rebuild your physical connection and get the attraction back.
But it’s also important to make an effort to keep yourself looking your best. That doesn’t mean being skinny or having perfect skin – it just means making the most of what you have and feeling good in your own skin.
Related post: 25 ways to be more attractive to your husband
How to save your marriage
Any of the issues I’ve discussed in this article might make a married man consider leaving his wife for another woman. If your marriage is going through a tough time, it’s never too late to do something about it and mend your unhappy marriage.
That’s where relationship coach and divorce expert Brad Browning can help. Brad is a divorce expert and relationship coach from Vancouver who’s been helping couples mend their marriages for over a decade. In fact, he’s so passionate about helping couples avoid divorce he’s been labeled ‘The Divorce Geek.’
Brad has spent the last ten years developing his Mend The Marriage program, and all his techniques use proven psychology combined with what he’s learned helping thousands of couples. We’ve written a full review of the program here if you’d like to learn more (including all the pros and cons).
The fantastic thing about Mend The Marriage is that you don’t even need to tell your husband that you’re using it. In fact, Brad believes it’s better if you take the first steps on your own. It gives you time to use his psychological techniques to change your husband’s perception of you before he even realizes it.
Brad has saved thousands of marriages in his career, and I think you’ll find his advice valuable.
