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Have you got a feeling your ex is pretending to be over you? Maybe they’re acting strange, or they keep texting you, or “accidentally” showing up at the same places as you.
The truth is that breakups are hard, and sometimes people have a hard time moving on. If you’re wondering whether your ex is really over you, here are 21 signs to look out for.
1. They blow hot & cold
Blowing hot and cold is when someone is nice to you one minute and then ignores you the next. If your ex is blowing hot and cold, it’s a sign that they’re confused about their feelings.
Sometimes they convince themselves to move on, pulling away and acting cold or distant. And then suddenly, all their emotions come rushing back, and they can’t help but text or try to see you.
2. They still text you all the time
If your ex texts you all the time, it’s a sign they’re not over you. Even if they say they’re just trying to be friends, their actions show they still have feelings for you.
They’re looking for clues that you still care about them and want to be with them. If they think there’s even a chance of getting back together, they’ll keep texting you in the hopes of winning you back.
3. They try to make you jealous
Why would your ex try to make you jealous if they’ve moved on? Either they are bitter and resentful, or they want to make you miss them and take them back.
Whenever you run into them, they always find a way to tell you how amazing their life is going. Or even worse, they ‘accidentally’ run into you with their new partner so you can see how happy they are.
If you still see your ex in social situations, flirting with other people is another way to make you jealous. You can be sure they’ll be watching to see how you react.
4. They tell you how much they’ve changed
If your ex wants you back, they’ll take every opportunity to tell you how much they’ve changed since your relationship ended. They’ll find subtle ways to bring up all the issues that caused you to break up and make it clear they’re a completely different person.
For example, if you broke up because they were always partying and neglecting your relationship, they’ll find a way to talk about how much more settled and responsible they are now.
Maybe they have changed in some ways, but is it enough? The truth is, they’re probably just telling you what you want to hear to increase their chances of getting back together.
5. They fish for compliments
Your ex is fishing for compliments because they need reassurance that you still find them attractive and desirable. It might seem a little desperate, but they’ll take whatever they can from you at this point.
Even if you have no intention of getting back together, complimenting your ex isn’t a bad idea. It costs you nothing, and it might help them feel a little better about themselves. Just be careful not to go overboard and give them the wrong idea.
6. They can’t help touching you
Does your ex still keep finding excuses to touch you? Maybe they place a hand on your arm when they laugh at your joke, or perhaps they brush past you ‘accidentally’ in an attempt to get physical contact.
If you’re not interested in getting back together, enforce your boundaries and don’t encourage them to keep touching you. You don’t need to be rude and push them away, but keep your interactions strictly platonic and don’t give them any reason to think you still feel something.
7. They ask about your love life
No matter how casual they try to make it sound, your ex’s questions about your love life are anything but innocent. They’re trying to find out if you’ve moved on and started dating someone else.
The best way to deal with this is by being completely honest. Tell them outright if you’re seeing someone new, and don’t try to hide it. It’s not your job to protect their feelings; they need to be mature enough to deal with the fact that you’ve moved on.
8. Their body language can tell you a lot
You can tell a lot about how your ex feels about you by studying their body language cues.
Perhaps they keep glancing or staring at you when they think you’re not looking. Or maybe they lean in to get as close as possible when you’re talking.
Also, watch for any nervous ticks that show up more often when they’re around you, like playing with their hair or adjusting their clothes. These little quirks signal grooming behavior and show that they’re subconsciously trying to look more attractive to you.
The best way to get your ex back
If you’re looking for a step-by-step instruction manual showing exactly how to get back your ex, I recommend you check out the “Ex Factor Guide” by Brad Browning.
There are many ‘get your ex back’ products out there, but the Ex Factor Guide is by far the most practical and comprehensive guide ever written on the subject.
No matter how unique your breakup was, I’m positive Brad will have helpful advice for your situation and answer all your questions in detail.
Even better, the Ex Factor Guide contains hundreds of real-world examples of Brad’s sneaky (but highly effective) psychological techniques that he has tested on real couples.
For example, the section on text messages will give you dozens of example messages you can send to your ex to get a response and make them start to miss you.
Brad claims that over 90% of relationships can be successfully repaired. That’s a bold claim, but after reading The Ex Factor Guide, I think he’s legit. Brad is a certified relationship counselor and has spent over ten years helping men and women repair their broken relationships.
His experience has helped him develop dozens of unique, groundbreaking ideas I’ve never seen anywhere else.
Check out Brad’s free video presentation to learn more about all his sneaky psychological techniques.
If you apply his methods, there’s an excellent chance you’ll have your ex begging for a second chance.
9. They keep ‘accidentally’ running into you
Your ex knows your schedule, they know your favorite hangouts, and they know where you’re likely to be at any given time.
If they keep ‘accidentally’ running into you, it’s not an accident at all. They’re engineering excuses to see you and hoping that a chance encounter will lead to a conversation, and hopefully a lot more.
The next time you see them coming, decide in advance whether you want to talk to them or not. If you don’t, make a beeline in the opposite direction.
10. They’ve become a party animal
Partying hard is a common reaction after a bad breakup. Your ex is trying to convince themselves that single life is fantastic and they enjoy all the freedom.
It might help them forget about you, but it can also be a tactic to make you jealous. If they post a lot of pictures of themselves having a wild time, it’s a not-so-subtle way of saying, “look how much fun I’m having without you.”
11. They drunk dial you
After a few drinks, they get sad and lonely and start to think about you. So they call or text you and drunkenly tell you how much they miss you or their life sucks without you.
Drunk dialing you isn’t a great plan to win you back, but it does show that they’re still thinking about you when they’re in a weak and vulnerable state.
If you feel sorry for them, the best thing you can do is not answer and spare them the embarrassment and regret they’ll feel the following day.
12. Their happiness feels fake
Your ex can put on a good show, but you know them better than anyone, and you can tell when they’re faking it. If they seem extra happy and bubbly around you, it might just be an act to try and cover the fact that they’re miserable without you.
13. They still want to be friends
Most couples don’t stay friends after breaking up because too many painful memories get in the way of an honest and open friendship.
If your ex still wants to be friends, chances are they are looking for any excuse to stay in your life and keep tabs on you. They might say they want to be friends, but their actions will tell you the truth.
Do they keep trying to touch you or flirt with you? Do they get jealous when you talk about other people? If so, they’re not interested in being friends. They’re just trying to keep their foot in the door, hoping you’ll take them back.
14. They’re always trying to help you
If your ex is always trying to help you with your problems or give you advice, it’s a clear sign that they still care about you and want to be involved in your life. They may be genuinely trying to help or (more likely) looking for an opportunity to talk to you and get back in your good graces.
15. Their new partner hates you
It’s unlikely you’ll ever be friends with your ex’s new partner, but why do they hate you so much? It might be because deep down, they know your ex isn’t entirely over you, and they feel threatened and insecure.
If you’ve completely moved on, the decent thing to do would be to let them know they have nothing to worry about. But seeing their new flame squirm might make you smile if you’re considering giving your ex another chance.
16. Their friends give it away
If your ex doesn’t admit to being hung up on you, their friends will probably tell you everything you need to know. Even if they don’t come right out and say it, you’ll be able to learn a lot from the way they act.
If your ex has no feelings for you, it’s most likely that their friends will tell you to your face. But if they smirk, glance at each other, or act suspicious, you can be sure they know more than they’re letting on.
17. They won’t pick up their stuff
Leaving their belongings at your place is a way of keeping you in their life and giving them an excuse to come back and see you.
If you want them out of your life for good, it’s time to take matters into your own hands and return all their stuff or give them a deadline before you throw it in the trash.
18. They stay in touch with your friends
Staying in touch with your friends is a good way for your ex to keep tabs on you. They can find out what you’re up to and who you’re seeing without talking to you directly.
They can also use your friends to get clues if they have any chance of getting back together with you or make you jealous by relaying stories of their hot dates.
19. They reminisce about the past
Reminding you of all the good times you shared is a low-key way of trying to make you miss being with them. Perhaps they always talk about how much fun you used to have on vacation or how you loved going to a particular restaurant.
They’re trying to recreate those happy memories in the hope that you’ll start to long for them again. If you catch yourself getting caught up in nostalgia, stop and remind yourself of all the reasons why you broke up in the first place.
20. They want to discuss the breakup
Does your ex keep wanting to discuss why you broke up? They might say they want to understand what went wrong, but they’re hoping you’ll change your mind and take them back.
Whatever you feel, your best move is to avoid getting sucked into a long and emotional discussion about the past. Keep your answers short and to the point, and don’t engage in finger-pointing or name-calling.
21. They’re active on your social channels
It’s not enough for your ex to keep tabs on you in real life; they also want to follow your every move online. If they’re constantly liking your posts and commenting on your photos, it’s a sign they can’t let go.
This is especially true if they’ve started posting their own photos and status updates designed to make you jealous. If you’re not interested in reconciling, block them from seeing your posts or set your profiles to private for a while.
Why is your ex pretending to be over you?
So far, we’ve looked at how you can tell your ex is pretending to be over you. But why are they acting this way?
One common reason is that they’re trying to show you a “new version” of themselves in the hope that you’ll miss them, see how much they’ve changed, and want to take them back.
Another reason is that they’re putting on a brave face because the breakup has bruised their pride and ego. They want to show you (and themselves) that they’re doing just fine without you.
In some cases, your ex might also be trying to make you jealous or punish you for breaking up with them by showing you how amazing their new life is without you.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that your ex’s behavior is not your responsibility. If they’re pretending to be over you, it’s because they’re not ready or willing to deal with the reality of the situation.
The best thing you can do is focus on your recovery and let them deal with their issues in their own time.
