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Learning how to love yourself sounds easy in theory, but it’s challenging for most of us in practice. Every time we look in the mirror or think about ourselves, we focus on all our flaws and the mistakes we’ve made.
Loving yourself is not just a throwaway line you read in self-help books. If you can genuinely learn to love yourself, you’ll gain self-worth, self-confidence, and you’ll go through life feeling happier and more satisfied in every way.
Dwelling on negativity, disappointment, and anger has serious consequences for your health and wellbeing. It can lead to depression, anxiety, and even your immune system being affected.
But how do you learn to love yourself? What do you actually do? It’s not just a matter of deciding that you’re worth loving – there have to be steps you can take to get there.
It turns out there are many practical things you can focus on that will make loving yourself a part of everyday life.
Here are 25 simple rules you can follow to learn how to love yourself and live a more fulfilling and happier life.
1. Don’t let other people bring you down
It’s important to try and not let other people affect your opinion of yourself.
Negative comments from your boss, bad relationships, or even that friend who always makes fun of you can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence.
When other people are constantly bringing you down, it’s easy to get a warped view of how the entire world sees you. It’s not easy, but ultimately you’re the only one who has control over how they make you feel.
If somebody says something nasty about you, always remember that their opinion is just that – their opinion. In fact, if they’re constantly trying to put you down, it’s because deep down inside, they feel insecure about themselves.
The same goes when people try to squash your dreams or tell you that you’ll fail. It’s just a way for them to feel better about their own lives and the fact that they’re too scared to try anything.
2. Do things that scare you
Getting out of your comfort zone and taking on new challenges is a great way to build self-confidence.
Whether that’s asking someone out, starting up a new business, or just trying something different for once – it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. As long as you feel a bit scared doing it, you can truly challenge yourself and feel proud of what you’ve accomplished afterward.
Too often, we let fear hold us back from trying new things. But facing up to your fears and taking on something completely out of your comfort zone is how you learn that there’s nothing to be scared about in the first place.
Don’t let fear stop you from exploring who you really are and what you’re capable of achieving – it will help you love your life and love yourself more.
3. Stay physically fit
Staying physically and healthy is one of the cornerstones of learning how to love yourself.
Regular exercise makes you look more attractive, which increases your self-confidence. It feels good to love your body and know that all your hard work has paid off.
Exercise is also fantastic for improving your mental health. It reduces stress, anxiety, and depression and increases your self-esteem and cognitive function. It’s even been shown to improve memory too.
You don’t have to join a gym or become obsessed to see the benefits of exercise. Just make it a regular part of your daily routine by taking the stairs, climbing up hills instead of using lifts, or doing some push-ups at home.
4. Learn to be vulnerable
It’s hard to love yourself when you can’t be honest about how you’re feeling.
Pretending that everything is okay by putting on a happy face takes too much energy and creates an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
Learning to be vulnerable lets you share your pain and get the emotional support you deserve. It also encourages others to open up to you and share their true selves with you in return. This strengthens your connections and enriches your relationships.
There’s nothing to be afraid of when showing the world who you really are. We all have flaws that make us unique and beautiful.
Once you’ve learned how to take off your armor and let other people see the real you, not only will you love yourself more, but so will everyone around you.
Showing your vulnerable side is one of the most courageous things you can do. It’s also the most liberating feeling ever.
5. Be grateful for what you have
Being grateful for what you have is a excellent way to boost how much you value yourself and make you happier.
If you’re struggling with loving yourself, try getting into the habit of writing down five things every day that you’re grateful for and why.
Once practicing this daily gratitude becomes second nature, notice how much better you feel about yourself and how much it boosts your confidence.
You’ll soon find that the negativity clouding how you see yourself will start to dissipate as you focus on all the blessings in your life instead of what’s lacking.
6. Reject negative thinking
Negative thoughts are a waste of time and energy because they hold you back from taking action to improve your life.
Rejecting negativity means letting go of all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, perfectionism, and comparison.
It may be hard at first, but training yourself to see the positive in things will make you feel more empowered than ever before. Barriers become opportunities, and you’ll realize how much power you have to change your life.
You’ll realize how much negative energy is wasted on things you can’t change and won’t make a difference anyway.
Rejecting negative thoughts will show you how to love yourself because it makes space for self-care and self-compassion in your life. It helps you value what’s important, see the beauty around you and appreciate all the opportunities you have.
It’s not always easy to reject negative thoughts and people from your life, but the more you practice doing so, the easier they’ll be to ignore.
7. Surround yourself with supportive people
It’s hard to love yourself when you don’t have a support system that makes you feel safe, confident, and inspired.
A group of supportive friends and family encourage you to be your best self by lifting you up rather than dragging you down when you fail or fall behind.
They celebrate your successes with you, which is how you learn that your achievements are worth celebrating.
On the other hand, negative, critical people are toxic and cause more damage than good in your life. They make everything more complicated because they try to hold you back from achieving what you want.
You’ll never feel confident with who you are if the people around you keep pointing out all your flaws instead of encouraging and motivating you to do better for yourself.
8. Accept that life has ups and downs
You’ll never be able to love or care for yourself in a healthy way if you constantly expect everything in your life to go right all the time.
It sets you up for failure and misery when things fall apart, and it doesn’t build your resilience to face adversity.
There will be good times and bad times, but how you react to the bad times defines how much happiness you’ll experience in your life.
Instead of expecting life to be perfect, prepare for everything that could go wrong. When something bad happens, don’t take it too personally or blame yourself for how you feel.
It’s essential to learn how to love yourself in the good times and support your needs when things are challenging to stay balanced throughout every change in your life.
9. Don’t compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others can help motivate you to achieve more and become better. However, it shouldn’t be how you judge yourself or the worth of your accomplishments.
The problem with comparing yourself to other people is that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
Relying too much on comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression rather than inspiration to push harder for self-improvement.
There will always be someone who seems happier, more intelligent, wealthier, or more successful than you.
When comparison stops being an issue in your life, loving yourself becomes much easier. It allows you to focus on what you’ve achieved rather than how it compares to others.
10. Forgive your mistakes (and learn from them)
It’s important to be self-forgiving when you do something wrong.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened was okay, but it lessens the power that your mistakes have over you and allows you to learn from them.
Learning from our past experiences allows us to become happier and better people in the future. There is no point carrying around negative memories if they will not help who you are today or who you want to be tomorrow.
Self-forgiveness also allows you to enjoy life more because painful thoughts don’t get in the way of living your life day by day.
11. Embrace alone time
Spending time alone allows you to reflect on how you feel about yourself without the pressure of other people’s expectations.
It gives you space to learn about yourself, accept your flaws and become more comfortable with who you are, including all your strengths and weaknesses.
Being alone also gives you space to think and make decisions that will make you happy without the influence of other people’s thoughts and opinions.
And just as importantly, spending alone time allows you to recharge your internal batteries, so you have more energy for your relationships.
It usually takes longer for us to relax when we’ve been surrounded by lots of people, so make sure that your alone time is as relaxing as possible.
12. Your past doesn’t define you
Learning to love yourself means understanding that your past decisions and mistakes don’t need to define your future.
This gives you the freedom to focus on what you want rather than how you got to where you are. There are always opportunities to do things differently and live a more happy, successful, and fulfilling life.
Even if things aren’t going well and you have regrets, focus on the good aspects of your life up until this point. Even if this simply means committing to change and staying optimistic about the future.
13. Accept that not everyone will like you
It’s essential to accept that some people will decide they don’t like you.
It’s normal for people to not get along and whether you like someone really comes down to personal preference.
As long as you’re not intentionally hurting anyone or crossing their boundaries, this should give you the freedom to stop worrying about being judged for your personality, beliefs, or behavior.
That doesn’t mean that you should just accept how others treat you, but understanding how to love yourself means not changing how you act or who you are for other people.
Of course, you can do many things to be more likable, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
14. Let go of negative relationships
If you have negative relationships in your life, you need to change the way they treat you or cut them out of your life.
It might hurt to take such drastic action, but ultimately, it will benefit how you feel about yourself.
If someone is constantly putting you down, it’s not healthy for your self-esteem and makes you feel bad about who you are as a person.
Cutting toxic people from your life also makes room for new friendships and opportunities in your life that will enrich your life.
15. Live in the moment
Being present and living in the moment is one of the most important things you can do to love yourself.
Focusing on the present means your thoughts and energy aren’t wasted worrying about what happened in the past or what might happen in the future.
Fixating on the past brings negative memories back into your life and pulls you out of enjoying the moment.
Future worries take away from the present because they can expand into an infinite web of problems and scenarios that might not even happen.
This doesn’t mean that you should ignore your future or fail to learn from your past, but being aware of how you live today can help you make more rational and positive decisions.
And most importantly, being mindful of what makes life enjoyable in the present moment allows you to really experience life rather than constantly analyzing it from an outside perspective.
16. Don’t hide from your feelings
If you try to bury your feelings or ignore them, it’s impossible to truly love yourself.
Not accepting your feelings is bad for your mental health and confidence and gives you a distorted view of the world around you.
This doesn’t mean that you should act on your feelings every time they occur – you’re not a 3 year old. But denying them automatically makes many situations more complicated than they need to be.
It also leads to making irrational decisions without clearly understanding how different events affect your happiness and wellbeing as a whole.
The key is to be aware of your emotions and learn what triggers certain emotions (like anger) in you. This will help you understand how much control or influence that thing has over your life and how you can work to achieve greater balance.
17. Ask for help when you need it
Learning how to love yourself means having the confidence and courage to admit you don’t always have the answers.
Instead of pretending to know it all, you ask for help to give yourself the best chance of success. It gives you new ideas and perspectives that can add another dimension to understanding your problem.
Asking for help is hard because of how vulnerable it makes us feel, but most people love to help others and will be happy to give you their help or advice.
So don’t let pride get in the way of realizing how great life can be when other people step in to help you figure something out. Especially if their strengths happen to compliment yours!
18. Give your knowledge freely
Giving freely of your knowledge, skills and advice makes you feel good about yourself. It raises your self-esteem and makes you feel valuable.
The important thing is that you give freely without expecting anything in return.
It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant you think your knowledge is. It can still be valuable to someone else.
Helping others also gives you the chance to learn how other people think and feel, which will help improve your relationships.
19. Don’t let people tread on you
We all make mistakes in life, but how you react when things don’t go your way determines how much people will like and respect you.
As long as you’re not a bully, standing up for yourself and how you feel about a particular situation will win you the respect of those around you.
The key is to not let people walk all over you because they want something from you or are willing to take advantage of your kindness.
To learn how to say no and how to be assertive without being aggressive. It might feel awkward at first, but it’s an essential skill that will stop you from feeling like everyone else controls your life.
20. Challenge yourself
Challenging yourself helps you grow as a person. It allows you to see your boundaries and how much more you can achieve in life.
You don’t have to take yourself out of your comfort zone all at once, but remember that taking small steps is how significant changes start happening.
So every now and then, ask yourself what’s holding me back? What do I want to accomplish next? You might even find it helpful writing down or making ‘vision boards’ about the kind of things you’d like to experience in the future!
21. Reward yourself
It’s easy to get caught up in how hard you’re working and forget to take time out for yourself.
You’ll feel more positive and motivated if you celebrate your achievements instead of just focusing on the negative when things don’t go as planned.
So don’t feel guilty about spoiling yourself every now and then – it’s an integral part of loving who you are.
Your goals don’t need to be significant to deserve a reward. Maybe you simply got through another tough week at school or work or achieved an important milestone in your business.
22. Seize new opportunities
One of the main reasons people feel bored of life is because they don’t take advantage of all the opportunities life throws their way.
You never know what seizing new opportunities will teach you or how they might give your life a completely new and fantastic direction.
It’s how many people discover their passions and how they achieve things that nobody thought possible.
So don’t pass up opportunities because you’re afraid of not being perfect or making a mistake – just go for it!
23. Don’t count on your looks
It’s no secret that attractive people are often treated better than those who aren’t.
It’s how many people end up giving their time, attention, and affection to others based entirely on how they look instead of how interesting or kind they actually are.
So don’t give your beauty too much power over you because it can easily lead you down the wrong path!
Your looks won’t last forever, so learn how to love yourself for more important things like how you are positive, open-minded, and hardworking. The right person will certainly appreciate that far more in the long run!
