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If you’re trying to figure out how to get your ex boyfriend back, you’re in the right place. It doesn’t matter who broke up with who – you know it was a big mistake, and you want him back.
Look, I have to be honest. It’s not going to be easy to get him back, and you’re going to need a solid plan. Today, I’ll lay out all the steps you need to follow to have the best shot at winning him back. You’ll need to use psychology and even be a little sneaky. And you’re definitely going to have to understand how men think on a fundamental level.
But don’t worry. If you want to win your ex boyfriend back, it’s totally possible.
1. Be sure you want him back
The first thing you need to do before getting your ex back is make sure that it’s what you really want. Don’t just think about how great things were when the two of you first started dating. You need to be honest with yourself and remember all the arguments as well.
When you really think about it, is he really someone that you can see yourself a future with? If not, then don’t waste your time trying to get him back. Move on and find someone who’s better for you. But if you can still see the potential in your relationship and want to be with him, then keep reading.
2. Take responsibility for your part in the breakup
After having my own fair share of breakups, I’ve learned that one person is rarely to blame for all the problems. Take an honest look at your behavior and think about all the things you might have done to push your boyfriend away.
Even if you’re convinced it was almost entirely his fault that you broke up, admitting your wrongs will help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Identifying your negative behaviors and changing them will also show him that you’re serious about getting back together and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes.
Taking responsibility for your actions shows maturity and a level of emotional intelligence – two things that are desirable qualities in any potential partner. If he sees that you’re genuinely working on being a better girlfriend it will be much harder for him to resist getting back together with you.
3. Don’t play the blame game
No matter who was at fault, resist the urge to place all the blame on your ex. Even if he was mostly in the wrong, pointing fingers won’t do either of you any good. It will only make him feel attacked and result in more hurt feelings and resentment.
If you want to get him back, try to focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past. Talk about what you’d like to change in the relationship and how you plan to make those changes. Show him that you’re ready to move on, rather than trying to assign blame for what went wrong.
4. Use the no contact rule
The no contact rule is simple – don’t contact your ex for at least 30 days. This means you don’t respond to any of his texts, emails, or social media posts. It’s also important that you don’t go anywhere near his house or favorite hangouts, even if that means changing up your normal routine.
So why does the no contact rule help you get your ex boyfriend back?
Most importantly, it gives you time to heal from the pain and grief of the breakup. When you see him again, you’ll be confident, strong, and completely in command of your emotions. It will show him that you’re strong enough to live without him and that you don’t need him in order to be happy. This will make him want to get back together with you much more than if he thinks you’re just sitting around waiting.
The no contact rule also gives you the time and space to reflect on all the problems in the relationship. You can spend time working through the issues and becoming a better version of yourself.
5. Work on your body & mind
During the no contact rule period, you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Keeping in shape, eating healthy food, meditating, or practicing yoga are all great ways to stay healthy and boost your confidence.
Having a routine will also help keep your mind occupied and stop you from becoming fixated on your ex. When you’re feeling tempted to contact him, it will be much easier to resist if you have other things planned in the day.
Most importantly, take this time to find out who you are as a person without him. Do things that make you happy and explore new activities – it will help you regain the sense of identity and purpose you may have lost in the relationship.
Reaching out to friends and family for support is also a great way to stay positive and remind yourself that there is more to life than just him.
6. Hang out with other guys
You don’t need to go on dates with other guys, but getting out there and meeting new people is a good idea. It doesn’t matter if you end up finding someone else or not. The point is to get you used to being around other guys in social situations.
Seeing other people helps break your ex boyfriend’s hold over you and makes it easier for you to recognize that you have options. So have fun, flirt with guys, and try not to let your mind constantly drift back to the past. You can even list all the reasons you would like to date different people and how they might be better than your ex boyfriend.
The best way to get your ex back
If you’re looking for a step-by-step instruction manual that will show you exactly how to get back your ex, I recommend you check out the “Ex Factor Guide” by Brad Browning.
There are many ‘get your ex back’ products out there, but the Ex Factor Guide is by far the most practical and comprehensive guide ever written on the subject. No matter how unique your breakup was, I’m positive Brad will have helpful advice for your situation and answer all your questions in detail.
Even better, the Ex Factor Guide contains hundreds of real-world examples of Brad’s sneaky (but highly effective) psychological techniques that he has tested on real couples. For example, the section on text messages will give you dozens of example messages you can send to your ex to get a response and make them start to miss you.
Brad claims that over 90% of relationships can be successfully repaired. That’s a bold claim, but after reading The Ex Factor Guide, I think he’s legit. Brad is a certified relationship counselor and has spent over ten years helping men and women repair their broken relationships. His experience has helped him develop dozens of unique, groundbreaking ideas I’ve never seen anywhere else.
Check out Brad’s free video to learn more about all his sneaky psychological techniques. If you apply his methods, there’s an excellent chance you’ll have your ex begging for a second chance.
7. Slowly introduce him back into your life
After the no-contact period is over, you can start reintroducing him back into your life.
Start by spending time with him in a group situation with other friends around. This will take the pressure off and make it easier to start talking again. Gradually increase the amount of time you spend around him until eventually, you’re spending time alone together again.
It’s important to remain upbeat – no matter how tempted you are to bring up the past or complain about things. Dwelling on the past won’t do anything for your future relationship and will only remind him why you broke up in the first place.
During this time, don’t be tempted to ask him out on an official date. Instead, focus on being friends first and introducing a little romance back into your relationship slowly over time. And whatever you do – don’t sleep with him until you’re officially back together. He needs to know you’re in it for the long haul, not just a fling.
8. Show him how good life is without him
When your ex boyfriend sees how amazing your life is without him, it will make him question why he ever broke up with you. He’ll start to see that he’s missing out on all the good things in your life and may even come straight back to you begging for forgiveness.
Make sure you’re living your best life possible during this time, so he has no choice but to regret his decision. Post plenty of social media updates, have fun with your friends, and show your ex how fun and independent you are. The most important thing is to stay positive and happy, no matter how much you might want to scream and cry.
9. Be mysterious
Injecting a little mystery into your conversations with him is a great way to keep his interest and make you seem more attractive.
Hint at all the fun and exciting things you’ve been up to since you broke up and be vague about the specific details. Anything you can do to make him think you’ve been seeing other guys will also make him sit up and take notice.
Once he starts wondering who you’ve been seeing, he’ll start to realize just how much he misses having you in his life again. He’ll go half mad trying to picture what you’ve been doing and who you’ve been with, and it will massively trigger his fear of loss.
Another great way to seem more mysterious is to change your style when you see him. It will reinforce the idea that you’re changed and evolved and make you seem more exciting and interesting.
10. Make him jealous
There’s nothing wrong with getting your ex boyfriend a little jealous if it helps get him back. You can make him jealous by posting plenty of social media updates, hanging out with other guys, and subtly hinting at how much fun you’re having without him.
If you’re out with him in a group, don’t be afraid to flirt with guys in front of him. If he sees how much attention you’re getting from other people, it will make him want you even more. Just keep things light and fun – don’t push it too far or you’ll just make him resentful and push him away even further.
11. Use his friends
His friends are a great way to get your ex boyfriend back without doing all the hard work yourself. Start engaging with his friends and getting them on your side if you can. Share stories about how much fun you’re having, and just generally be friendly and personable.
Once they see that you’re a great girl and that their friend is missing out, they may start to subtly put pressure on him to get back together with you. You mustn’t force things though – let nature take its course and don’t overdo it with the conversations, or he’ll just get annoyed with you.
12. Flirt with him
As you start to rebuild attraction with your ex boyfriend, start flirting with him. Just keep it playful, subtle, and make sure you don’t come across as desperate and needy. And don’t forget to smile and laugh when he’s around – when he sees how good your life is, it will make him want to be a part of it again.
13. Don’t pressure him
It’s crucial that you don’t put too much pressure on your ex boyfriend or try to force him into anything. If he senses that you’re desperate for him to come back, he’ll start to pull away and might even become more determined not to get back with you.
Instead, give him space and don’t be afraid to let him make the first move. When he sees how content you are without him, it will make him realize just how much he misses having you in his life.
14. Keep your emotions in check
Never let your emotions get the best of you or it might push your ex boyfriend even further away. You need to remain cool, calm, and collected in all of your interactions with him and resist the urge to beg or plead for another chance.
When he sees that you’re not emotional or needy and that you’re perfectly happy being single, it will make him realize that he’s missing out and should take you back. Just stay positive, be yourself, and keep your cool.
15. Ask him out
Once you’ve reconnected and are spending plenty of time together as friends, it’s time to take the plunge and ask your ex out on a date. Treat it like you’ve never been together before and focus on having fun. This is your opportunity to reset your relationship and show him that things will be different this time. If all goes well, one date will turn into two, and then more – and before you know it, you could be back together again.
Final thoughts
Getting your ex boyfriend back is hard, but it’s definitely possible. If you follow all the steps I’ve outlined in this article, I think you have a real chance of success.
Once you start dating him again, the most important thing is to not fall straight back into the same patterns that caused you to break up in the first place. If you’ve used the No Contact Rule and spent time really thinking about what went wrong, you should be in a good place to rebuild a healthy relationship.
