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Learning to deal with being ugly is a hard thing to do.
You’ve been told that you’re ugly for as long as you can remember, and it never gets any easier. There are only so many times you can be rejected by a guy or a girl before it starts to make you seriously depressed.
People probably tell you that looks don’t matter and it’s what’s inside that counts – but does that help? I’m guessing probably not.
We put beautiful people on a pedestal, and we obsess over them on social media. It’s almost like they’ve achieved something unique when in reality, they were just born lucky.
They won the genetic lottery, and they get to reap all the benefits that our shallow world throws at them.
In this article, I’m going to try and help you deal with being ugly. Part of the journey will involve accepting how you look – there’s no getting away from that.
But it’s not all about just coming to terms with being ugly. There are lots of practical things you can do to stop being ugly. You need to maximize your assets and dial your personal style up to eleven.
Even if you feel seriously ugly, you can still have an incredible life and win at the relationship game.
Let’s go…
Why am I so ugly?
People have different tastes, and there’s never going to be 100% agreement on what makes someone attractive.
There are also a lot of cultural factors involved. Someone from Japan might have a different idea of what makes a face attractive than someone from Botswana.
It’s also weird how you can instantly look at a face and know whether it’s attractive or ugly even though you can’t say exactly why you know.
Well, it turns out that scientists have studied faces a lot. And they’ve developed a set of general rules that everyone agrees makes a face attractive.
It’s all about symmetry and averages.
People find symmetrical faces more attractive. So if your eyes aren’t level or your nose is crooked, you’re ugly.
No face is ever 100% symmetrical, but the more balanced you are, the more attractive people will find you.
Average faces are also rated as more attractive. So when people tell you you look unique, it’s actually a nice way of telling you you’re ugly.
Having an average face means that the ratios between the different elements of your face are the average of everyone else in the population.
For example, a woman is rated most attractive when the distance between her eyes is slightly under half the width of her face. Similarly, the distance between a woman’s eyes and mouth should be one-third the length of her face.
14 ways to deal with being ugly
1. Become amazingly successful
There’s only so much you can change the way you look, but nothing is stopping you from becoming unbelievably successful.
You can define success however you want.
For most people, it will probably involve getting filthy rich. When you’re rich, many doors open up to you that make being ugly completely irrelevant.
For others, success might mean becoming the very best at something. When you have an elite skill that people respect, they quickly forget what you look like.
So focus all your energy on becoming so successful that what you look like isn’t even a factor.
2. Develop your personal style
Even though you’ll never be known for being beautiful, you can be known for being stylish. So make it your mission to always be the best dressed and most elegant person in the room.
When you walk into a room, you need to own it with your style. Instead of trying to fade into the background, you want to put yourself front and center and create a memory for everyone who looks at you.
When people think about you or talk about you behind your back, all they should be focused on is how much you rock your own style.
If you don’t know much about personal style and fashion, find someone who can help you. Hire someone if you need to. Many style apps will pick clothes for you and teach you how to style yourself.
The trick is to find a unique twist on style and make it your own. The fact that you’re ugly can almost enhance your look. It’s part of a unique package that people can’t help but respect and admire.
3. Focus on your best features
If you don’t have much to work within the looks department, you need to focus on what you do have and dial it up to 11.
No one is 100% ugly. There’s always a lot you can do to draw attention to your best features.
Do you have long legs? Show them off every chance you get. Maybe you’ve got interesting eyes. Learn tricks to accentuate them and draw attention to them.
People’s eyes and attention will be drawn wherever you lead them – to lead them to the sexiest parts of your face or body.
4. Keep fit and healthy
When it comes to your face, there’s only so much you can change what the genetic lottery gave you.
But there is a lot more you can do with your body.
If you’re skinny and weedy, learn how to bulk up and put on muscle. Become a physical powerhouse that no one can ignore when you walk in the room.
If you’re overweight, start eating well and slim down. Count calories or join a weight loss program to help you stay motivated.
Look, I fully understand that some people have body types that will never match the ‘perfect’ social media ideal. But I guarantee you that you can do so much with your body shape to look hot AF.
The other massive advantage of concentrating on your physical health is that it makes you feel amazing. Everyone knows that diet and exercise can lift your mood and help with depression.
Feeling physically fit and strong is also incredibly empowering. When you build muscle, the way your body feels when it moves entirely changes. It makes you feel powerful and gives you confidence.
I have a buddy who’s short, bald, and, to be honest – pretty damn ugly. But the dude is massively ripped, and he looks badass. The way he dresses and moves to accentuate his power makes people look up and take notice of him.
And trust me, he has no problems in the dating and relationship scene.
5. Focus on your personality and character
Shallow people will always make snap judgments about the way you look. There’s no getting past that. These people will never even bother trying to get to know you on a personal level.
But the vast majority of people you meet throughout your life will be willing to see past the fact that you’re ugly.
This is reason enough to focus on self-improvement and mold yourself into someone that commands attention.
There’s a lot about your personality you can’t change, but there’s a lot you can.
You can train yourself to be more positive and have empathy for others. You can become a better public speaker and learn how to control a room. You can learn to really listen to other people and engage with them on a deep level.
Be loyal and be kind. Go out of your way to be the kind of person that others can rely on. Build a strength of character that means people want to earn your respect.
All these character traits are desirable and will draw people to you. They’ll make you the kind of person that people want to be friends with, and they will help you find love.
Think about an incredibly attractive guy or girl. And now imagine that they’re shallow, vapid, and selfish. They might be able to easily get laid, but their partner won’t want a committed relationship.
And what’s going to happen over time? Their beauty will fade, and they’ll get traded in for a new model.
6. Build your confidence
If you’re ugly and confident, you don’t care what people think about the way you look. And before you know it, other people will stop caring as well.
A confident person is completely comfortable with who they are. They love themselves and accept their flaws. They focus on meaningful relationships and being awesome.
When a confident person walks into a room, you know it. Everybody notices them, and it has nothing to do with how attractive they are. They project a calmness and a strength of character that can’t be ignored.
It’s no surprise that confidence is rated as one of the most attractive qualities in a potential partner by both men and women.
I’m not going to lie, building up your confidence from rock bottom isn’t going to be easy. Especially if you have a lifetime of beating yourself up about the way you look.
But there is help out there to start the process of transforming the way you think about yourself. You just have to take the first step.
7. Accept that some things will be harder
Coming to terms with being ugly also means accepting that some things will be more challenging.
It’s a proven fact that attractive people have a lot of advantages in life.
They have more options for sexual partners, get promoted more quickly at work, and get paid more for doing the same job.
Studies have also shown that people are more willing to do things for attractive people when they ask for help.
So what do you do if you’re ugly and don’t have all these advantages?
The answer is simple. You work twice as hard to be awesome, and you do as many of the things on this list as you can.
It’s not fair, but there are plenty of people with much more severe problems than the way they look.
8. Learn to accept how you look
To stop feeling ugly, you first need to accept how you look.
Acceptance is a journey that ends with you realizing that being ugly doesn’t stop you from doing or achieving anything in this world.
As I’ve already discussed, beautiful people do get some advantages in life.
But honestly, there’s nothing about being ugly that will stop you from doing anything you want in this world, except maybe getting a job as a news anchor or a supermodel. But I’m pretty sure by this point you’ve given up on those dreams.
There is also just as much chance that you’ll find love as an attractive person. Of course, first impressions are powerful, and you probably won’t be as successful at hooking up with randoms.
But many people will be willing to look past the way you look and want to be with you for who you are. Not everyone values physical attractiveness as a deal-breaker for a relationship.
9. Don’t obsess over social media
Don’t obsess over beautiful people on social media if you feel stressed or anxious about being ugly. Or, if you do, at least understand that it’s a very warped view of reality.
Social media has been linked to negative feelings about body image. It also makes us feel like beautiful people are everywhere. I assure you, they’re not. Just go out into the street and look around. Most people are very average, if not downright ugly.
Beautiful people on social media are almost always trying to monetize their looks. It’s actually a bit sad when you really think about it. I hope they have a plan B in the works because it’s not going to last long.
Social media also makes the lives of these attractive people look so effortless. They’re always at a fantastic hotel, drinking a cocktail and staring at an amazing view from an infinity-edge pool.
It’s all staged. They weren’t relaxing in the pool all afternoon being #blessed. They spent 4 hours obsessing over the perfect shot to ensure their followers don’t ruthlessly abandon them.
And that’s all before the photoshop tweaks even begin…
10. Put things into perspective
I definitely don’t want to diminish the mental health impacts that being ugly has on your life.
I fully understand that it can make you depressed, anxious and negatively affect your wellbeing in a very real way.
But you need to put it in perspective as much as you can.
Some people spend their lives in wheelchairs, live with cancer, or have serious physical issues that make them feel like outcasts. Some people struggle to feed their families or live on the streets with their kids.
You’re just ugly. That doesn’t need to stop you from doing anything in your life.
11. You will win at aging
People often forget that beauty is fleeting. Beautiful people only get a few short years to enjoy their looks before age starts to take its toll.
Many attractive people struggle mentally with losing their looks, just as ugly people worry about how they look.
This is particularly true for beautiful women. In the eyes of society, men grow old gracefully and become more distinguished. But women just grow old.
Every year they watch as more wrinkles appear and their hair loses its shine. Maintaining their perfect figure gets harder and harder as their body slowly betrays them.
And before long, all the advantages they used to enjoy are gone. They’re just another middle-aged nobody who’s been replaced by a younger model.
But if you’re ugly, you don’t need to worry about any of that. You moved on from thinking about your looks years ago.
In fact, getting older might even be an improvement.
12. Don’t be jealous of attractive people
It’s very tempting to compare yourself to other people and get jealous. Especially people you see on social media living perfect lives.
But jealousy can eat you up inside and make you feel depressed and worthless.
It’s important to do the work to move past jealousy and make peace with your own positives and negatives.
There will always be people who you can look at and feel jealous of. They might be more beautiful than you, have more money, or have a perfect-looking life.
And in the same vein, there will be lots of people doing it way more tough than you as well.
13. You’re not shallow
You’ve had to work harder to break through people’s snap judgments of you based on how you look.
You’ve learned how much value there is in moving beyond shallow interactions and really getting to know someone at a deeper level.
And you’re willing to open up and show people the real you in return.
14. Realize that most people don’t care what you look like
If you spend every single day thinking, ‘I’m ugly, it’s going to get hard to put your looks into perspective. You’ll quickly start to assume that everyone else is just as obsessed with your looks as you are.
But the truth is, most people don’t care. They’ve got their own problems to deal with, and they’re probably way more severe than your face.
Final thoughts
If you’re wondering what to do if you’re ugly, I hope this article has given you plenty of inspiration. I also hope it helps you put your looks into perspective.
At the end of the day, the cure to being ugly is just to be more awesome than everyone else.
Build your confidence, work on your style, be a good person and just get out there and live your life to the fullest.
