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How to deal with a crazy wife (25 effective ways)

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All relationships go through ups and downs, but it’s tough when you feel like you’re living with a crazy wife. If your wife has been acting erratically and making your life miserable, you have to figure out how to deal with it before your marriage ultimately falls apart.

Successful marriages are built on good communication and mutual respect, and when these start to break down, it signals big trouble ahead. Luckily, there are many things you can do to strengthen your relationship and restore the love you used to feel for each other.

In this article, I’ll share 25 effective ways to deal with your crazy wife and discuss some of the common signs your wife has a more serious mental health issue. It’s essential to recognize the difference so you can decide how to best deal with the situation.

1. Don’t call her crazy

One of the worst things you can do is call your wife crazy. Not only is it disrespectful, but it will also make the situation worse. It will make her feel even more defensive, and she’ll be less likely to listen to anything you have to say. If you’re feeling frustrated and want to lash out, take a deep breath and calm down before saying anything you’ll regret.

2. Always keep a cool head

If your wife is acting crazy, it means she’s having a strong emotional reaction and isn’t thinking clearly. The last thing you want to do is engage in a shouting match with her because it will only escalate the situation. The best thing you can do is keep a cool head and remain calm, even if she’s yelling and acting irrationally.

Another thing to avoid is telling your wife that she’s overreacting. It will make her feel like you’re not taking her seriously and trying to shut her down. It’s important to validate her feelings, even if you disagree with them.

3. Learn the underlying cause of her problems

The first step in dealing with your wife’s behavior is to try and understand the underlying cause. What’s going on in her life that’s making her act this way? Maybe she’s going through a stressful time at work or having a hard time with a personal issue? Do you have serious underlying relationship problems?

Once you understand what’s making her act crazy, the whole thing will become much easier to deal with. If it’s stress at work, you can help her find ways to manage her time better or offer more support. If she’s having a hard time with a personal issue, you can offer words of encouragement and be there for her when she needs it.

4. Communicate openly and honestly

Open communication is essential for a healthy relationship, and it’s the only way you can truly understand why your wife is acting crazy. Open communication means sharing your feelings with her and listening to what she has to say. It’s also important to be understanding and non-judgmental, no matter how crazy she may seem.

There are lots of things you can do to improve your communication skills when talking to your wife. For example, try using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. “I feel like you’re never home” sounds better than “You’re always at work.” This will help her feel like you’re on her side and not just trying to start an argument.

5. Work on your emotional intimacy

One of the best solutions for dealing with a crazy wife is prioritizing the emotional intimacy in your relationship. Emotional intimacy means spending quality time together, sharing your thoughts and feelings, and being vulnerable with each other. The key is to connect with your wife emotionally and make each other feel loved and supported. 

Emotional intimacy can’t be replaced by sex, and it’s a vital part of all great relationships. If you’re not good at maintaining emotional intimacy, try to make more effort. Schedule regular date nights, check in when you’re away from each other and try to be more present when you’re together. Little random displays of affection and kindness are also a great way to show your wife that you love her and are invested in the relationship.

6. Don’t give up and run away

If your wife has been acting crazy for a long time, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and tempted to give up on your marriage. It may seem like your marital problems will never get better, and it’s just too much hard work. But remember, all relationships go through rough patches, and you can’t give up just because things are tough.

If you leave your wife before you’ve done everything to make things better, you might regret it for the rest of your life. Plus, it’s not fair to your wife if you’re going to abandon her when she needs you the most.

When you feel like giving up, take a step back and reassess the situation. Are you doing everything you can to make things better? If not, then try harder. Talk to your wife more, spend more time with her, and be more understanding. It will take some time and effort, but it will be worth it in the end.


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7. Don’t hold onto resentment

If you’re constantly resentful of your wife, it will make it impossible to fix your marriage. You need to let go of any anger and bitterness you’re feeling and start fresh.

This doesn’t mean you have to forget about all the hurtful or crazy things she’s done, but you need to be the better person and learn to forgive. Holding onto resentment will only make your arguments more toxic and drive you further apart.

If you’re having trouble letting go of your resentment, try to think about the good times in your relationship. Remember why you fell in love with your wife in the first place and focus on the positive aspects of your marriage.

8. Follow through on your promises

When you tell your wife you’re going to do something, make sure you follow through and do it. It might not sound like a big deal, but trust is a vital part of any relationship, and you need to make sure you’re always reliable.

It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and make promises you can’t keep, but this will only frustrate your wife and make her feel like you don’t care about her.  If you’re not sure you can follow through on something, don’t make the promise in the first place. It’s better to be honest than to make a false promise and disappoint her later.

9. Establish clear boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is essential in any relationship, but it’s especially crucial when your wife is acting crazy. You need to be clear about what you’re willing to put up with and what you’re not. For example, this might mean establishing ground rules around how you argue to avoid name-calling and personal attacks.

Once you set boundaries, you need to stick to them. If your wife frequently crosses your set boundaries, it will be challenging to fix your marriage. You need to make sure she knows what’s acceptable and what’s not and that you’re both willing to follow the rules.

10. Accept your mistakes

Marriages can be complicated and messy, and it’s unlikely that either you or your wife is entirely to blame for her acting so crazy. It’s important to accept your own role in the situation and take responsibility for your actions.

This doesn’t mean you need to take all the blame, but it’s essential to be honest with yourself and not always assume you’re the good guy. Only by accepting your own mistakes can you learn from them and move forward.

11. Argue the right way

Every married couple argues from time to time, but it’s important to argue in a way that’s constructive and not destructive. It’s easy for toxic arguments to end up as nothing more than a verbal assault that has nothing to do with what you started fighting about in the first place.

Healthy arguing means staying calm and focused on the issue at hand. It’s important to avoid harsh words and personal attacks and instead focus on finding a middle ground that works for both of you. Make sure you actually listen to each other and acknowledge each other’s points of view.

If you can’t seem to get through an argument without yelling or resorting to name-calling, it might be time to walk away and cool off.

12. Listen carefully and make her feel heard

When you’re talking or arguing with your wife, listening to what she’s saying is important. You don’t have to agree with her, but try to understand where she’s coming from.

Showing your wife that you’re genuinely listening to her will go a long way toward fixing your marriage. The only reason she might be acting crazy is that she doesn’t feel heard or understood.

13. Don’t play the blame game

It’s easy to fall into the trap of playing the blame game when you feel like your wife is acting crazy. You can’t see her side of things, and all you want to do is point the finger and lay all the blame at her feet.

The problem is that blaming your wife will not help fix your marriage or make her act any less crazy. In fact, it’s only going to make things worse and she’ll feel like she’s not being heard or understood.

Instead of blaming your wife, try to focus on finding a solution that works for both of you. It’s important to remember that you’re in this together, and you both need to be willing to compromise.

14. Give each other the space you need

When you’re going through a tough time in your marriage, it’s essential to give each other the space you need. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your marriage; you need enough time to relax and recharge.

If your wife needs some time to do her own thing, try not to take it personally. She might need some time to calm down and figure out her next steps. Constant fighting is completely exhausting, and it’s hard to be calm and rational when you’re sick of the sight of each other.

15. Don’t wallow in self-pity

The last thing you want to do when your wife is acting crazy is wallow in self-pity. Instead, try to stay positive, focus on the future, and do everything to help her through this tough time.

Even if you can’t change your wife’s behavior, you can change how you react to it. Stay positive and hopeful, and don’t give up on your marriage. Remember, you’re in this together, and you can get through anything as long as you’re willing to work together.

16. Help her around the house

One of the quickest ways to make your wife feel loved and appreciated is to help her around the house. She probably feels overworked and undervalued if she’s constantly doing all the chores, especially if she’s trying to do it while working full-time.

Even little things like taking out the trash or doing the dishes can make a big difference. If you can give her a break from some of the everyday tasks of running a household, she’ll have more energy to deal with the other challenges in her life.

17. Remind yourself why you married her

When your wife is acting crazy, it’s easy to forget all the reasons why you fell in love with her in the first place. Think about all the things you love about her, from her sense of humor to her compassionate nature. When you remember why you married her, it will be easier to forgive her for any crazy behavior she might be exhibiting.

Look through your wedding photos or vacation pictures and remind yourself how things used to be. It will give you confidence that you can get through this tough time and that your marriage is worth fighting for.

18. Reassure her that you love her

Sometimes, it can help reassure your wife that you still love her, even if she’s driving you crazy. Let her know that you’re on her side and committed to her for the long term. This affirmation of your love and commitment will help her feel more secure and loved, and it might be a huge help to get her through this tough time.

Little displays of physical affection can also go a long way in reassuring your wife that you still care. It’s a simple way to show her that you’re still attracted to her and want to be close to her.

19. Learn her love language

Love languages are a way of understanding how different people feel love and need to be loved. There are five primary love languages: Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Learning your wife’s love language might help you understand her better and love her in a more meaningful way. For example, if her love language is quality time, spending more time together will make her feel more loved and appreciated. Or, if her love language is words of affirmation, then complimenting her often will make her feel loved.

If you’re unsure what her love language is, try to pay attention to what makes her feel most loved. Does she appreciate it when you do things for her? Or does she like it when you tell her how much you love her? Once you know what makes her feel loved, you can use that information to your advantage.

20. Be there for her

When your wife is going through a tough time, she needs to know that you’re there for her, no matter what. Whether she’s dealing with a mental health issue, a job loss, or anything else, she needs to know that you’re in her corner. 

Let her know that you’re available to talk to her whenever she needs, and be ready and willing to listen. Sometimes, she needs someone to vent to, and you can be that person for her.

21. Spend quality time together

It’s hard to maintain a solid emotional bond with your wife if you’re not spending quality time together on a regular basis. Make sure to schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways so you can reconnect and rekindle the spark in your relationship.

Do things together that you both enjoy, and take the time to talk to each other about what’s going on in your lives. These quality moments will help you feel closer to each other and will go a long way towards keeping your relationship strong.

22. Be patient

If you feel like your wife is driving you crazy, it’s important to be patient with her. She’s going through a tough time, and she needs your support, not your criticism.

Try to be understanding and forgiving, even if she does something that bothers you. The more patience you show her, the more likely she will calm down and return to her usual self.

23. Don’t try to be her therapist

While it’s important to be there for your wife, don’t try to diagnose her psychological issues or be her therapist. If she’s suffering from depression, anxiety, or any other mental illness, she needs to see a clinical psychologist who understands all the treatment options.

Trying to handle everything on your own will only lead to frustration and might even make things worse.

24. See a couples counselor

Another option is to see a couples counselor who can help you and your wife communicate better and work through your issues. This can be an extremely helpful way to improve your relationship and get back on track.

25. Practice self-care

It’s essential to take care of yourself when dealing with a crazy wife, both physically and emotionally. If you’re not taking care of yourself, it will be harder to deal with the stress of the situation. Make sure to eat healthily, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. And don’t forget to schedule some time for yourself to relax and do things you enjoy.

Signs your wife has a personality problem and isn’t just mad at you

Is your wife’s craziness the result of your relationship issues, or is there something more serious? If she exhibits any of the following behaviors, she may have a more serious problem than just anger issues.

As always, if you think she might be dealing with a mental health issue, it’s vital to get professional help.

Her behavior is unpredictable

Does she exhibit erratic behavior and go through wild mood swings for no apparent reason? If she’s happy one minute and raging the next, it could signify a bigger problem.

She physically abuses you

If your wife is physically abusing you, it’s a clear sign that she has a severe problem. If you’re in danger, it’s essential to get out of the situation as soon as possible and get help.

She emotionally abuses you

Emotional abuse is just as serious as physical abuse and can be just as damaging to your mental health. If your wife is constantly putting you down, making you feel bad about yourself, or making threats, it’s time to get out of the relationship.

She gaslights you

Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you believe that your memories or perceptions are wrong. If your wife constantly denies that she said or did something or tries to convince you that you’re crazy, she’s gaslighting you.

She tries to isolate you

Trying to isolate you from family members or friends is a sign that she’s trying to gain control over you. She wants to be the only person you rely on, and she’s doing everything she can to make sure that happens.

She threatens to harm herself

If your wife threatens to harm herself, it’s a clear sign that she needs help. If she’s talking about suicide or self-harm, don’t hesitate to get her professional help.

Final thoughts

I hope this guide has helped you understand how to deal with a crazy wife. Remember, it’s essential to be patient, understanding, and forgiving. And if you think your wife might be dealing with a mental health issue, make sure you encourage her to get professional help.

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