This post may include affiliate links to products we think you'll find useful. We may earn a small commission if you buy through these links. Read our affiliate disclosure.
Most people agree that being sexually intimate with someone outside your relationship is definitely cheating. However, there are many other forms of infidelity that can damage or destroy your relationship.
Everyone has their own idea about what being unfaithful means, and the important thing is that you and your partner agree on what cheating means to you.
1. Sexual affairs
In simple terms, a sexual affair is when you have sex with another person behind your partner’s back.
For this list, I’m going to say that a sexual affair involves calculated and repeated infidelity. You meet someone else, and you start a physical affair with them over time. Your connection might be purely physical or have an emotional component (e.g., you fall in love with them).
This is different from a one-night stand, where you hook up with someone and never see them again.
Sexual affairs are the most obvious type of cheating. For this reason, people often assume that all affairs are sexual in nature. However, there are actually many different types of sexual affair behaviors that don’t involve intercourse.
Examples of sexual affairs
For most people, any type of physical intimacy not with your partner is considered cheating. This includes kissing and sexual touching of any kind that’s designed to get the other person turned on and make them aroused.
But once again, it depends a lot on what your personal definition of sexual cheating looks like. For some people, kissing another person on the mouth might count as having an emotional rather than physical connection. It would only count as sexual infidelity if they touched or kissed you in other intimate areas as well.
2. Emotional cheating
Emotional cheating is when you share your deepest, most intimate feelings and secrets with someone outside your relationship.
Emotional affairs don’t involve sex or physical intimacy and can happen online or in person. It could be a deep friendship where the lines between platonic behavior and romantic feelings blur until one person falls for another without realizing what’s happened.
It often happens when couples spend a lot of time apart due to work or other commitments. Still, there are no hard statistics on this since most people won’t admit they’re engaging in emotional infidelity unless they get caught out by their partner.
For many couples, emotional cheating more devastating to a relationship than a sexual affair. This is because the emotional component of a relationship is what creates the bond of trust and long term commitment.
Examples of emotional cheating
Examples of emotional cheating include sharing intimate desires with someone, confiding in someone about the problems you’re having in your marriage, or constantly flirting with them via text.
In many cases, these behaviors may seem innocent on their own but combined, they can spell trouble for any couple.
If your partner is physically or emotionally cheating on you, marriage expert Brad Browning has lots more excellent advice in his free video.
3. Online cheating
Online cheating is when you form an emotional or sexual connection with someone else through the internet, phone, or social media.
Obviously, there is no physical contact involved, but that doesn’t mean it’s not cheating. This is especially true if you’re making regular contact with someone online and sharing your innermost thoughts, feelings, and secrets.
Some studies indicate that as many as 50% of all relationships may experience internet infidelity at some point. Again, this statistic could be higher since people who engage in these behaviors don’t admit it unless they get caught out by their partner first!
Technological advancements have made it easier than ever to cheat on your partner online without them finding out. This is especially true because most people don’t monitor their spouse’s online activity.
Examples of online cheating
The following online behaviors can all be considered cheating:
- Chatting to someone you’re attracted to online.
- Sharing personal or intimate photos with each other.
- Getting intimate via video chat.
The classic example of cyber cheating is sexting, where you send each other sexually explicit pictures or messages.
Other examples of online cheating include having a second social media account to contact your ex, chatting up potential partners, or making new friends without your current partner knowing about it.
4. Micro cheating
Micro cheating is when you do even the slightest thing that would make your partner feel uncomfortable. It skirts the line between what’s acceptable and unacceptable in a relationship.
It’s tough to define micro-cheating because it’s very subjective. One person may consider something micro-cheating, but someone else wouldn’t give it a second thought.
Examples of micro-cheating
Micro cheating can take many forms. Some common examples include flirting with someone at work, sending flirtatious messages via text, liking social media posts from an attractive member of the opposite sex, or keeping a dating app profile on the side.
The main problem is that humans are hardwired to look out for potential mates. This means that you might engage in micro-cheating behavior almost without realizing it.
This means that a lot of micro-cheating is perfectly innocent. However, it can still cause problems in a relationship if you’re not careful. For some couples, even these tiny displays of unfaithfulness can stir up all kinds of worries about trust and fidelity.
5. One night stands
A one-night stand is when you have sex with someone after meeting them one time, and you never see them again.
One-night stands differ from sexual affairs because they are impulsive acts and are more likely to be based on pure physical attraction. Of course, a one-night stand can easily turn into a sexual affair if you continue to see the other person and sleep with them.
In general, women tend to be more forgiving of one-night stands because they are physical and can be viewed as an isolated ‘mistake.’ This is because many women are more threatened by cheating that includes an emotional component.
6. Financial cheating
Financial cheating is where one partner in a relationship hides money or spending from the other.
Most people would agree that this is cheating because it’s impossible to have a healthy, trusting relationship if you’re not being open and honest about your financial situation.
Examples of financial cheating
Examples of financial cheating include:
- Secret bank accounts.
- Having a second job that your partner doesn’t know about.
- Hiding the amount of money you earn.
The most common example is where one spouse puts all their income into an account that they don’t share with their other half. From this account, they withdraw cash to spend on things behind their partner’s back – whether it be for gambling, alcohol, hobbies, or even prostitutes and affair partners.
7. Double life cheating
I define double life cheating as a long-term affair used to escape the monotony of everyday life.
You might love your partner and not want to cheat on them, but you’re so stressed or unhappy with your current lifestyle that you feel like you need a break.
Double life cheating involves using an affair as an escape and never intending to leave your primary relationship. It’s just about having fun, excitement, and passion without any responsibility or commitment.
This type of cheater feels trapped in their own lives, so they use affairs as a way to explore different sides of themselves that aren’t allowed within their primary partnership.
It’s very much escapism rather than genuine love with someone else outside of their marriage. This is why many double lifers turn into serial cheaters – because one “mistress” isn’t enough! They crave new experiences all the time, even if this means going from one relationship to the next.
Is flirting considered cheating?
Whether flirting is considered cheating is a very interesting question, and it’s tricky to answer. Humans are naturally sexual creatures, and we all like to feel attractive and have other people respond positively to us.
At the end of the day, I think it all comes down to intent.
Some people are just naturally flirty, and it makes them feel good to work their magic and have a guy or girl eating out of their hand. It’s like a game, and they don’t mean anything overtly sexual by it or intend to take things any further.
Some partners are completely fine with this type of innocent flirting and know that their partner will never cross the line. But other partners might be very uncomfortable with the idea of you having fun even if there are no sexual overtones.
The best thing you can do is discuss how you feel and set some ground rules about what’s considered acceptable in your relationship.
Other behaviors that (probably) aren’t cheating
1. Innocent crushes
Having a crush or thinking someone is hot doesn’t count as an affair unless you act on it by flirting in real life and letting them know how attracted you are.
2. Innocent flirting
For most people, flirting is innocent fun and doesn’t go further than playful touching, compliments, or hugs.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have a partner that understands the difference between innocent flirting and “cheating type” flirting. It’s important to set boundaries for what you’re comfortable with within your own relationship.
3. Texting
Obviously, I’m not including sexting here, but it’s hard to make the case that friendly or flirty texts to a guy or girl constitute cheating.
4. Dancing
Most people would agree that dancing with another guy or girl doesn’t count as cheating unless you’re obviously getting sexual.
5. Hugging
It’s hard to tell whether hugging someone in a way that makes you feel good is crossing the line. For most couples, a warm and close hug isn’t likely to ring any alarm bells.
No one wants their partner to be cold and emotionless. Still, some people get jealous of what they consider “too much” PDA with another guy or girl.
How do men and women consider cheating differently?
Studies show that men and women think differently when it comes to cheating. Women are generally more concerned about emotional betrayal, while men are more concerned about sexual infidelity.
For example, many women see flirting online as worse than physical contact because the connection is emotional.
On the other hand, guys don’t tend to mind flirting as long as there isn’t any physical contact. Men feel less threatened by a girl having a lot of emotional intimacy with another man as long as they know it won’t lead to any sexual contact.
Another key difference between men and women when it comes to adultery is what makes people want to cheat in the first place. Men often turn towards affairs after periods of loneliness and stress within their primary relationship. For women, an affair often represents something new and exciting that they wouldn’t get in their primary relationship.
